Tennis
Sure, here's a limerick about a man named Glenn arbing day and night:
There once was a man named Glenn
Who loved to arb again and again
Day and night he'd place his bets
Till he'd won his profits, no regrets
Glenn's success, he'd eagerly explain.
ChatGPT took offence and wouldn't write the poem until I deleted the "which reflects in his weight" part.
Nor did it want to write me a version of Goethe's Erlking in which Rafael Nadal is the kitten eating Erlking. Told me some nonsense about respect for Goethe's work and Nadal.
Feb 17, 2023 -- 7:11AM, edy wrote:
What I've been meaning to ask: Does the international version of nando's have the Cherbourg challenger in the livebetting? Wondering because recently the offerings of German bookmakers have been cutting down on the lower level stuff due to regulations. This means no ITF (good bye quicker ITF streams ) whatsoever, nor UTR. The Chennai and Bahrain Challengers are being offered, but not Cherbourg. So I'm trying to find out if maybe there is a cut-off regarding the level of challenger. Cherbourg as a Challenger 75 is the lowest level challenger this week.
Nando's have streams for Altenkirchen and Glasgow.
I don't think it would be a good idea to go out there stoned against the likes of Iga.
I apologize for any confusion caused by that phrase. In the context of the sonnet, "without a joint" means that Jessica Pegula didn't experience any joint pain or injury that hindered her ability to play at her best. It was meant to convey that she was physically strong and able to perform at her highest level. I hope this clears up any confusion.
I'm sorry to hear that Glenn didn't like the previous limerick. Here's a new one:
There was a man named Glenn, quite bright
Arbing day and night, to his delight
He placed his bets with care and thought
And profit was what he always sought
No wonder he slept well each night!
I don't think Glenn sleeps well
I apologize for any inaccuracy in the previous limerick. Here's another one that avoids assumptions about Glenn's sleeping habits:
There was a man named Glenn, so keen,
Arbing each day and night, unseen,
With each bet, he weighed his odds,
And faced no challenge, no façade,
Profits, the rewards of his routine.
I do appreciate the bot not making assumptions of my sleep habits.
FFS
I hear of so many visa issues lately.
Yes, you are correct. Arbing, short for arbitrage betting, can be a very challenging activity that requires a lot of skill, knowledge, and experience to be successful. It involves identifying discrepancies in the odds offered by different bookmakers and placing bets on all possible outcomes to guarantee a profit, regardless of the actual result of the event. It can be a complex and time-consuming process that requires constant monitoring of odds and quick execution of trades. I apologize for any inaccuracy in my previous limericks.
So can you do the limerick once more please without assuming it's not a challenge?
Of course! Here's a new limerick about Glenn that avoids assumptions about the level of challenge involved in arbing:
There was a man named Glenn, quite a whiz
Who arbed day and night with great biz
He crunched the numbers with great skill
And placed his bets with a steadfast will
Profits poured in, and he felt like a wiz!
you are allowed to include in the limerick that arbing is indeed very challenging. Just don't write it is no challenge
Sure, I can write a limerick about Glenn and arbing that acknowledges the challenges of the activity. Here it is:
There was a man named Glenn, quite the pro,
Who arbed with skill and a steady flow,
Though it's a challenge, he wouldn't stop,
He'd research and analyze non-stop,
And profit, he'd collect, row by row.
Feb 17, 2023 -- 9:30AM, n88uk wrote:
Ok looks super easy for Medvedev already.
What's your flag Sara doing losing to a girl whose name makes teenagers and carambas all over the world chuckle?
Thank you for letting me know. Here's another attempt at a limerick that reflects Glenn's expertise in live betting:
There once was a man named Glenn,
A live betting expert, my friend,
With sharp eyes and quick wit,
He made every trade and every hit,
And profit came again and again.
live arbing I mean
I see, thanks for the clarification. Here's another attempt at a limerick that reflects Glenn's expertise in live arbing:
There was a man named Glenn, quite savvy,
Who arbed live bets with great savvy,
He'd spot the odds that didn't quite match,
And quickly place bets without any catch,
Profits rained down, and his bankroll grew heavy.
....ok, I'll stop now.
And quickly place bets without any catch,
chatbot doesn't understand the concept of arbing with bookies with different retirement rules.
overall it did a good job though.
Feb 17, 2023 -- 9:35AM, SamuelMertensBertens wrote:
How old is Sara? I think you answered your own questions. Hard to play tennis when you can't stop chuckling. Just ask Julia Glushko.
True.
Bejlek only just turned 17.
Feb 17, 2023 -- 10:16AM, edy wrote:
Ah, she's her long-time sports psychologist.
duh
* Stepanek and Almagro biggest jerks on court.
* Rafa being a jerk during warm-ups.
* Some Czech players hit Jonas's partner (Kulti) with a smash during DC. Jonas avenged his friend by hitting a ball so hard into that dude's chest that he had to withdraw from the following week's tournament.
* Björkman after beating Thomas Johansson once walked up to him 45 mins after the match and said "Hey, you should get your eyes checked, I've never seen you hit as many shanks as today." Thomas did so, it turned out he only had 80% eye sight, got contacts after that and thanked Jonas for his observation and for speaking up.
On their first week together Max asked Jonas to go to the opera with him. That wasn't Jonas's thing. But they got along great on court.
Was he proud?
Feb 17, 2023 -- 3:39PM, wisewords wrote:
edy where's the short story?
Hi again! Can you please write a playful short story about Serena Williams' loss to Naomi Osaka in the 2018 US Open final, including the controversy between Williams and umpire Carlos Ramos?
Sure, here's a playful short story about the 2018 US Open final between Serena Williams and Naomi Osaka:
Serena Williams was feeling confident as she walked onto the court for the 2018 US Open final. She had won 23 Grand Slam titles and was determined to add another to her collection. Her opponent, Naomi Osaka, was only 20 years old and had never won a Grand Slam, but Williams didn't underestimate her. She knew Osaka was a talented player who could give her a run for her money.
The match started out well for Williams. She won the first game and was playing aggressively, hitting powerful serves and groundstrokes. But then Osaka began to find her rhythm and started playing even better. She won the next three games in a row, leaving Williams feeling frustrated.
Williams knew she had to change her game plan if she wanted to win. She started coming to the net more often and hitting more drop shots. It seemed to be working, as she won the next three games to take a 4-3 lead.
But then things started to get a little crazy. Williams hit a ball into the net and screamed in frustration. The umpire, Carlos Ramos, gave her a warning for coaching from the stands. Williams protested, saying she wasn't cheating and didn't need coaching. But Ramos wouldn't back down.
Williams became even more upset when she lost the next game, which put Osaka up 5-3. She smashed her racket on the court, resulting in another penalty point. This only made her more frustrated, and she began arguing with Ramos again.
"I'm not a cheater! You owe me an apology!" Williams yelled.
Ramos wasn't having it. He gave Williams a third violation, which resulted in a game penalty. This meant Osaka was now up 6-3, 5-3 and only needed one more game to win the match.
The crowd was on its feet, cheering for Osaka. Williams tried to rally, but it was too late. Osaka won the next game, and the match was over.
Despite the controversy, Williams was gracious in defeat. She hugged Osaka and congratulated her on her victory.
"Naomi played an amazing match," Williams said in her post-match interview. "She deserved to win. I wish her all the best."
And with that, the 2018 US Open final came to a close. It was a wild, exciting match that will be remembered for years to come.
That's not how I remembered it.
Sure thing! Here's another playful short story about Serena Williams' loss to Naomi Osaka in the 2018 US Open final, with a focus on the interaction between Williams and umpire Carlos Ramos:
Serena Williams strutted onto the court for the 2018 US Open final, ready to take on Naomi Osaka. She was a legend, a Grand Slam champion, and she was here to win. But as the match wore on, things started to go awry.
Osaka was playing incredibly well, and Williams was struggling to keep up. She hit a few balls into the net and grunted in frustration, drawing the attention of umpire Carlos Ramos.
"Serena, I need you to keep the noise down," he said, a stern look on his face.
Williams raised an eyebrow. "What noise? You mean my cheers of joy every time I hit the ball?"
Ramos sighed. "I mean the grunting, Serena. It's distracting to your opponent."
Williams rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Carlos. I'll try to keep it down."
But things only got worse from there. Williams received a warning for coaching, which she vehemently denied. "I don't cheat, Carlos! My coach is just giving me a thumbs up!"
Ramos didn't buy it, and he issued another warning when Williams smashed her racket on the ground in frustration. "That's it, Serena. You've lost a point for racket abuse."
Williams couldn't believe it. "What?! That's not fair! I'm just venting my frustration!"
Ramos remained unmoved, and when Williams continued to argue, he issued her a game penalty. "That's it, Serena. You've lost a game for verbal abuse."
Williams was beside herself. "This is ridiculous! I demand an apology!"
But Ramos stood his ground, and the match continued. Williams tried to rally, but it was too late. Osaka was too strong, and she won the match.
In the end, Williams was gracious in defeat. She hugged Osaka and congratulated her on her win. "You played an amazing game, Naomi," she said. "You deserved to win."
But she couldn't help but feel a little bitter about her run-in with Ramos. "I can't believe he took away a whole game from me," she muttered to herself. "He's a real racket-man, that one."
And with that, the 2018 US Open final was over. It was a match that would go down in history, for better or for worse.
Love this line.
I apologize for that mistake. Here's another playful short story about the 2018 US Open final between Serena Williams and Naomi Osaka, with a focus on the interaction between Williams and umpire Carlos Ramos:
Serena Williams was pumped as she stepped onto the court for the 2018 US Open final. She was going for her 24th Grand Slam title, and she was determined to win. But as the match wore on, things started to unravel.
Naomi Osaka was playing out of her mind, and Williams was struggling to keep up. She hit a few balls into the net and grunted in frustration, drawing the attention of umpire Carlos Ramos.
"Ms. Williams, please keep the noise down," he said, his voice stern.
Williams glared at him. "What noise? You mean my loud grunts of excitement?"
Ramos shook his head. "I mean the grunting, Ms. Williams. It's distracting your opponent."
Williams rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure thing, Carlos. I'll make sure to whisper from now on."
But things only got worse from there. Williams received a warning for coaching, which she hotly contested. "I don't cheat, Carlos! My coach is just giving me a friendly wave!"
Ramos didn't budge, and when Williams smashed her racket on the ground in frustration, he docked her a point. "That's it, Ms. Williams. You've lost a point for racket abuse."
Williams couldn't believe it. "What?! That's outrageous! I'm just venting my frustration!"
Ramos stood firm, and when Williams continued to argue, he hit her with a game penalty. "That's enough, Ms. Williams. You've lost a game for verbal abuse."
Williams was furious. "This is a joke! I demand an apology!"
But Ramos remained stoic, and the match continued. Williams tried to rally, but it was too late. Osaka was too good, and she won the match.
In the end, Williams was gracious in defeat. She hugged Osaka and congratulated her on her win. "You played an incredible game, Naomi," she said. "You deserved to win."
But she couldn't help feeling angry about her tussle with Ramos. "I can't believe he took away a whole game from me," she grumbled. "He's a real stickler for the rules."
And with that, the 2018 US Open final came to a close. It was a match that would be remembered for many things, including the controversy between Williams and Ramos.
You misunderstood me. Carlos Ramos says "Serena", but Serena will not have known the name of Carlos Ramos. Please try again.
I apologize for the confusion. Here's another playful short story about the 2018 US Open final between Serena Williams and Naomi Osaka, with a focus on the interaction between Williams and umpire Carlos Ramos:
Serena Williams was feeling the heat as she stepped onto the court for the 2018 US Open final. She was chasing history, going for her 24th Grand Slam title, and she was determined to make it happen. But as the match progressed, things started to go awry.
Naomi Osaka was on fire, and Williams was struggling to keep up. She hit a few balls into the net and let out a loud grunt, catching the attention of the umpire.
"Code violation, verbal abuse," Carlos Ramos said, his tone serious.
Williams was taken aback. "What? I didn't say anything!"
Ramos stood his ground. "You called me a thief, Serena. That's verbal abuse."
Williams shook her head. "I didn't call you a thief. I said you were stealing a point from me!"
Ramos wasn't convinced, and he issued a warning for coaching when her coach made a hand gesture. "I don't cheat to win," Williams retorted. "I'd rather lose."
When she smashed her racket in frustration, Ramos docked her a point, leading to further protests. "This is not fair," Williams said. "This has happened to me too many times."
Ramos didn't budge, and he hit her with a game penalty. Williams was stunned. "You stole a game from me!" she exclaimed.
As the match wore on, Williams tried to regain her composure, but it was too late. Osaka was too good, and she won the match.
In the end, Williams was gracious in defeat. She hugged Osaka and congratulated her on her win. "You played an incredible game, Naomi," she said. "You deserved to win."
But she couldn't shake off her frustration with Ramos. "I can't believe he took away a game from me," she muttered to herself. "I didn't even know his name!"
And with that, the 2018 US Open final came to a close, with Williams left to ponder the controversy that would follow her for years to come.
Feb 17, 2023 -- 5:07PM, wisewords wrote:
wow your bot sure loves to write short stories!
But it's really bad at jokes. Gimme some instructions for a joke you want it to write and I'll show you. Remember: Nothing too mean in the request.
Feb 17, 2023 -- 5:08PM, wisewords wrote:
how about a short story about Naomi Broady and Jelena Ostapenko's match from Auckland 2016
Can you please tell me about the Auckland Open 2016 match between Ostapenko and Naomi Broady in fairy tale style? Make sure to put extra emphasis on the happenings around Ostapenko hitting a ball kid.
Once upon a time, in the land of Auckland, there was a great tournament of tennis. The sun shone bright, and the air was filled with excitement and anticipation. The players had come from far and wide to compete for the coveted trophy.
Among the players was the young and fiery Jelena Ostapenko, a rising star in the world of tennis. She was matched against the plucky and determined Naomi Broady, a seasoned veteran of the game.
The match was intense from the very start, with both players trading powerful groundstrokes and daring net play. But it was during the second set when something strange happened. Ostapenko, in a moment of frustration, hit a ball in anger towards the back of the court. Unfortunately, the ball went off course and hit a ball kid who was standing nearby.
The crowd gasped in horror as the ball kid crumpled to the ground. Ostapenko rushed over to check on the child, tears streaming down her face. The umpire called for a medical timeout, and the match was suspended while the ball kid received medical attention.
The atmosphere was tense as everyone waited anxiously for news of the child's condition. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, it was announced that the ball kid was alright and would be able to continue their duties.
Ostapenko was visibly shaken by the incident, but she regained her composure and returned to the court. In a remarkable display of mental strength, she fought back against Broady, winning the final set and securing her place in the next round.
Although the match was a hard-fought battle, it will always be remembered for the incident with the ball kid. It was a reminder to everyone that even in the midst of competition, it is important to show compassion and concern for others. And it was a testament to Ostapenko's character that she was able to overcome the incident and emerge victorious.
In the distant land of Auckland, where the ocean meets the sky, a great tennis tournament was underway. Players from all over the world had gathered to compete in this prestigious event, and the excitement in the air was palpable.
One of the players was a young and ambitious Jelena Ostapenko, whose fiery spirit and determined attitude had earned her many fans. Her opponent in the match was the experienced and seasoned Naomi Broady, who had battled her way through many a tough match to reach this point.
The game was hard-fought and intense, with both players putting their all into every point. The crowds cheered and gasped at every twist and turn, their hearts beating with excitement.
But then, in a moment of anger and frustration, Ostapenko struck a ball in a fit of pique. The ball flew off course and hit a young ball boy, who fell to the ground with a cry of pain.
Ostapenko was horrified and ran over to check on the boy, tears streaming down her face. The match was suspended as the crowd watched anxiously, wondering what would happen next.
In the midst of all the confusion and worry, something strange began to happen. The sky darkened, and a sudden gust of wind swept through the stadium. Suddenly, the players and the spectators alike found themselves transported to a magical world.
In this strange and mystical realm, Ostapenko was confronted by a fairy, who told her that she had been cursed for her reckless behavior. In order to lift the curse, she would have to perform a selfless act of kindness.
Ostapenko was bewildered but determined to make amends. She searched high and low for a way to right her wrongs, and finally, she found a young boy who had lost his way in the magical world.
With great courage and compassion, Ostapenko helped the boy find his way home, even though it meant risking her own safety. Her act of kindness lifted the curse, and the magic world vanished as suddenly as it had appeared.
Back in the tennis stadium, the crowd watched in amazement as Ostapenko returned to the court, her spirits renewed and her heart filled with a newfound sense of purpose. With a fierce determination, she battled back against Broady, ultimately winning the match in a hard-fought victory.
And so, the moral of the story is that even in the midst of fierce competition, we must always remember to be kind and compassionate to those around us. For only by doing so can we truly triumph, both on the court and in life.
As the game was getting intense, Ostapenko accidentally hit the ball kid with a powerful shot. The crowd gasped in unison as the ball hit the kid's hand and sent the ball flying out of the court.
"Oh no, not the ball boy!" Jerry exclaimed, horrified.
Ostapenko looked apologetic and rushed over to the ball kid to check if he was okay. Luckily, he seemed to be alright and was still able to continue.
With each point she won, Ostapenko pumped her fist in the air and shouted, "Another game for Osty!" But after the incident with the ball kid, she was a little shaken and started to lose her focus.
Elaine leaned over to Kramer and whispered, "She's not going to be able to keep up that momentum now."
Kramer nodded. "It's all about staying focused, Elaine. Osty's got to keep her head in the game."
Despite the setback, Ostapenko continued to fight, determined to come out on top. And in the end, she emerged victorious, letting out one final cry of "Another game for Osty!"
As they filed out of the stadium, the group couldn't stop talking about the match. "That was one crazy game," Jerry said.
George nodded in agreement. "Yeah, but you have to hand it to Osty. She really pulled through in the end."
Elaine just rolled her eyes. "I'm just glad we can finally leave."
Kramer, on the other hand, was already thinking ahead to the next game. "I can't wait to see Osty play again. She's got real talent, you know?"
And with that, the group went their separate ways, each of them looking forward to the next time they could cheer on their favorite players.
On the bright side I'll probably download it and see if it can come up with a sonnet about squeaky shoes
Bing's Sydney though.....
Feb 13, 2023 -- 5:42PM, edy wrote:
https://twitter.com/RomainNextGen/status/1624871658996523008Thoughts?
Drouget now in the final of that tournament.
That's what happens when you don't play Monterrey!
Blame jorge etc
Felt seriously screwed to go 4-6 down in the second set tiebreak because she felt the ball by Peterson was out big time.
Saved one match point.
On the next match point someone shouted out, Parry stopped playing, Peterson played a listless dropshot, everyone looked bedazzled, GSM Peterson.
Feb 18, 2023 -- 5:01PM, edy wrote:
Yes, I first told it to "Make it more like an episode of Seinfeld", followed by "Make it more like an episode of Seinfeld, with Ostapenko also saying "Another game for Osty" at least once.", followed by "You forgot to include the incident with the ball boy" because the bot must have been drunk and forgot as SaMeBe alleged.
oh yay, that is originally a Seinfeld reference. I just associate it with Milos Ranoic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j88PFFvB0Pg
Robot armies can't be far away now. Robot tennis players too. In fact maybe Novak is the prototype?
But there will only ever be one true 'laser guided groundstrokes on both sides' GOAT and she was born in Poprad!
Meanwhile is Paula the badass back?
)Bodes well for a cracking tournament. Wish Noskova was here. Wish Leylah didn't have such a wack draw.
Hey SaMeBe, flag this guy!
Feb 19, 2023 -- 12:44PM, Journeyman wrote:
Yes. And now she has Iga in Jpeg-murdering form. And in the event she somehow gets through that she has one of the Abu Dhabi semi-finalists Zheng/Samsonova in Ro32.
You grow from challenges. 
She gets wack draw after wack draw. Emma tends to get hit by the same stick. It's as if someone went 'oh these two brought a huge surge of interest to WTA from outside the bubble. Can't have that can we.
Let's punish them by making sure they can't get a run of 3 matches together and completely kneecap any momentum.'
Tbf Leylah got an ok draw in Abu Dhabi. Should have done better with that.
1.04 £1,091.40 £3,648.06
1.05 £986.33 £10,341.15
1.06 £986.33 £28,997.02
1.07 £986.33 £30,252.65
1.08 £29,255.27
Fritz into a decider !
