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barstool
05 Jul 21 20:26
Joined:
Date Joined: 14 Jan 04
| Topic/replies: 6,938 | Blogger: barstool's blog
Been stalking one for ten minutes with todays rolled up racing post---can't get near it.  grrrrrrAngryAngry
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Report brassneck July 5, 2021 9:08 PM BST
Lavender Spray,they fly a mile away when the smell it.Wink
Report harry callaghan July 5, 2021 9:27 PM BST
Get some fly spray pal, just the ticket
Report barstool July 5, 2021 9:28 PM BST
I thought that might have the opposite effect.

The tool for the job was a FLIT GUN, but you cannot get one these days. It was like a bike pump with a can hanging under the end of it. You filled the can with "FLIT" pumped the handle, pointed and presto ...dead fly. Get them in mid air and they dropped dead to the ground, none of this lying on their backs and spinning around for an hour. Killed everything instantly, wasps, horseflies, blue bottles, all you had to do was put the dog out before you squirted the stuff and the job was a good un.

While I'm at I can't buy creosote to do my cabin either. What's gone wrong with the world?
Report harry callaghan July 5, 2021 9:28 PM BST
It’s less than the racing post as wellGrin
Report lead on July 5, 2021 9:29 PM BST
Raid useless now..water based rubbish!
Report harry callaghan July 5, 2021 9:30 PM BST
You’ve clearly analysed it barstool, this out of my league Laugh
Report lead on July 5, 2021 9:31 PM BST
What's wrong with the world is that Health and Safety has taken over from common sense
Report lead on July 5, 2021 9:31 PM BST
What's wrong with the world is that Health and Safety has taken over from common sense
Report harry callaghan July 5, 2021 9:32 PM BST
We got this pestshield fly and wasp killer…not bad, they do need a dowsing though
Report Hayden July 5, 2021 9:32 PM BST
Two house flies is doubly annoying
Report harry callaghan July 5, 2021 9:34 PM BST
Is it a young one barstool they are incredibly nimble and hard to catch
Report barstool July 5, 2021 9:34 PM BST
Bring back the Flit Gun. Flies will go to Europe.
Report geoff m July 5, 2021 9:35 PM BST
Yep . 2 house flys
Report barstool July 5, 2021 9:37 PM BST
No Harry, it is quite a fat bugger actually, the aroma from my wine glass is getting it to do figure of eights and back spins. Quite a show off really.
Report lead on July 5, 2021 9:37 PM BST
Bluebottles are worse...for some reason they remind me of Mick Fitzgerald
Report saddo July 5, 2021 9:45 PM BST
I've a big shouty Hungarian woman next door. House fly ffs?
Report harry callaghan July 5, 2021 9:58 PM BST
Funny barstool. Sounds like an Olympic gymnast type fly

Looks like saddo has a bigger problem on his hands to deal with

This could be a problem solving thread…
Report Facts July 5, 2021 10:48 PM BST
Waft the air around the fly. The resulting air currents disorient the fly, so it looks to land anywhere asap.
Presenting an easy target.
Report jamesdean July 5, 2021 10:53 PM BST
At least when there's 2 of the blighters you can have
a bet
Report Dr Crippen July 6, 2021 9:47 AM BST
Cut a long thick elastic band.
Hold the one end between the finger and thumb, and the other end between the finger and thumb of your other hand.

Stretch the elastic band and stalk the fly.

When your one hand is close to the fly, take aim and release the one end of the elastic band - splat. Strike one fly.

No quarter asked, no quarter given. That's the way I operate.
Report happysandwich July 6, 2021 9:57 AM BST
When I’ve swatted one I put it on a piece of card and throw it onto a spiders web in the garden.

So when God says to me “What did you do down there Happysandwich?”.
I’ll tell him I fed he’s little creatures and he’ll let me through those Pearly Gates.
Report FOYLESWAR July 6, 2021 10:10 AM BST
buy a can of spray starch ,very effective ,brittle flys !
Report Facts July 6, 2021 10:19 AM BST
One sandwich short of a picnic Laugh
Report Dr Crippen July 6, 2021 10:28 AM BST
See how Jack Elam deals with a fly:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fx15s_HAkgU
Report DIFERENT GRAVY 12 July 6, 2021 10:49 AM BST
I use a salt gun which works fine, the cat sh1ts itself which lightens the moment!
Report Facts July 6, 2021 10:50 AM BST
Classic film.
The best scene is  the shooting dead a family on a farm. When the camera pans up from the cornfield where the gunmen are, shockingly exposing who is playing the character of Frank.
Report DIFERENT GRAVY 12 July 6, 2021 10:50 AM BST
Also had an electric tennis racquet but it didnt last long.
Report ericster July 6, 2021 10:55 AM BST
Lol! Those things drive me to distraction, can't rest until I've got them with the fly-spray.
Having said that , the wife got one of those Nylon fine meshed net curtains that you hang in front of the back door and we rarely see one indoors now. Happy
Report barstool July 6, 2021 11:09 AM BST
7.35 Brighton  No Flies On Me.

Got to put a fiver on this.Laugh
Report elisjohn July 6, 2021 11:11 AM BST
the fly, one of the great films with vincent price
Report snowynoon July 6, 2021 11:13 AM BST
Not nearly as annoying as having a mosquito in your room when trying to sleep ,but not a problem in this country obviously.
Report penzance July 6, 2021 11:51 AM BST
all these sprays,no good for the enviroment.
Get some Venus Fly traps.
Report Facts July 6, 2021 12:03 PM BST
Lots of potential double entendres in your comment ericster Laugh
Report ProSniper July 6, 2021 12:19 PM BST
Report FOYLESWAR July 6, 2021 1:15 PM BST
not saying you should get one of these barstool but when on holiday in spain years back the hotel had this big fookin grill type thing on the wall  outside our rooms window ,in the night it would light up with a neon florecent  tube which attracted insects ,you would hear it buzz as small insect flew into it ,every so often it would make a loud frying noise and look as if it were going to burst into flames  as a big b,stard bug flew into it ,in the morning there would be u huge pile of burnt critters under the grill .
Report barstool July 6, 2021 1:40 PM BST
Saw one in Thailand FOYLESWAR, always had a suspicion we may have eaten some of those "critters".
Report FOYLESWAR July 6, 2021 1:44 PM BST
probably barstool, in the dark those bugs when they hit the grill reminded me of small planes in flames dropping from the sky!Laugh
Report ericster July 6, 2021 2:00 PM BST

Jul 6, 2021 -- 6:03AM, Facts wrote:


Lots of potential double entendres in your comment ericster


Tut'tut.
Raised eyebrows.
Shame on you sir. Wink

Report duffy July 6, 2021 2:02 PM BST
You mean an insectocutor foyles
Report ericster July 6, 2021 2:03 PM BST

Jul 6, 2021 -- 7:15AM, FOYLESWAR wrote:


not saying you should get one of these barstool but when on holiday in spain years back the hotel had this big fookin grill type thing on the wall

Report ericster July 6, 2021 2:04 PM BST
Insectecutors, they don't half crackle 'n' pop, but they do the job. Flies and most other bugs can't resist them.
Report duffy July 6, 2021 2:05 PM BST
Pull the curtains when it fly's around the window to trap it, push window open...out it goes, no spray needed..simples
Report chipbutty July 6, 2021 7:30 PM BST
A house fly with a Scouse accent.
Report elisjohn July 6, 2021 7:54 PM BST
i love it when a fly walks on my arm  or leg Grin
Report lead on July 6, 2021 7:58 PM BST
Barry Hills trained The Fly.
Report Hayden July 6, 2021 8:35 PM BST
Having a good bet on one beaten a nose , reckon it would be a million the fly lasting 30 secs after that.
Report doorman99 July 6, 2021 8:53 PM BST
The spray you need is called Kybosh, brilliant stuff but don't breath it in, you will have a sore throat otherwise.
Report harry callaghan July 6, 2021 9:05 PM BST
Dr Crippen 06 Jul 21 08:47 Joined: 16 Apr 02 | Topic/replies: 44,663 | Blogger: Dr Crippen's blog
Cut a long thick elastic band.
Hold the one end between the finger and thumb, and the other end between the finger and thumb of your other hand.

Stretch the elastic band and stalk the fly.

When your one hand is close to the fly, take aim and release the one end of the elastic band - splat. Strike one fly.

No quarter asked, no quarter given. That's the way I operate.

Brilliant this Laugh


DIFERENT GRAVY 12 06 Jul 21 09:50 Joined: 01 Mar 07 | Topic/replies: 3,812 | Blogger: DIFERENT GRAVY 12's blog
Also had an electric tennis racquet but it didnt last long.

With Wimbledon in mindGrin


Some exceptional analysis and commitment to the problem the opening post has faced in the past couple of daysHappy with key methods in order to restrain the creatureLaugh just a great effort and a highly enjoyable thread for people with nothing better to do than talk flys…admirable stuffHappy


Saddo not been back on, hopefully he hasn’t confronted the Hungarian weight lifter from next door…we can only hope he is in good health.
Another potential situation for the forum to help withConfused
Report sageform July 7, 2021 7:58 AM BST
People who open windows and allow flies in!
Report elise July 7, 2021 10:23 AM BST
i have a cheap and alternative solution - if the fly is on the window, use a glass spray, if the fly is around furniture use mr sheen, either knocks them out so you can finish the job but the real bonus is a quick wipe of the overspray and you can tell the mrs you've done housework and she'll be able to smell it meaning brownie points
Report undertaker July 7, 2021 11:17 AM BST
Vapona window stickers work well for us. We buy 8 stickers every spring (about £4 for a pack of 4 on ebay and they look like sunflowers) and stick them on our windows around the house. Within days there are piles of dead critters on the windowsills underneath each sticker. Once a year, peel them off (they don't leave a mess) and replace with a new one.

The electric tennis rackets are good for the giant wasps which come down our chimney every winter. They make a very satisfying BANG and produce a small puff of acrid smoke when the wasp is electrocuted.
Report barstool July 7, 2021 12:23 PM BST
undertaker... "giant wasps coming down our chimney in winter"

Sounds like you might have Burglars mate. Look out for the one wearing a mask and carrying a swagbag.
Report chipbutty July 7, 2021 12:41 PM BST
I didn't even know those tennis rackets existed. For the bloodthirsty couple, you could buy 2 and turn it into a nice game. I on the other hand am a big softy and leave windows and doors open and patiently coax them out with a few kind words, "go on buddy, you're ok" being a favourite.

God only knows why I'm single Sad
Report elise July 7, 2021 12:46 PM BST
u should still get one of his tennis rackets and then maybe try whacking a few women with it, you might get lucky and be able to drag one back to your place
Report chipbutty July 7, 2021 12:55 PM BST
I would rather entice a nice lady with my wit, charm and dashing good looks...... but as I've got none of these, which model racket would you suggest Elise? I like a larger lady so I'm thinking something with a big head?
Report elise July 7, 2021 1:01 PM BST
if you are in need a big head you're better off asking willie shafter imo, however i think you may be underselling yourself and you should start with a ping pong bat and just find the right sized @rse and give it a forehand
Report elise July 7, 2021 1:03 PM BST
similarly to my mr sheen option this can also be used as a fly swatter if you get bored of asking them to leave and if you get a 2nd one you could apply for a job at the local airport directing planes to their alotted parking spaces
Report chipbutty July 7, 2021 1:09 PM BST
This sounds like a good plan Elise although I'll have to adjust it slightly as I'm stronger on my backhand.
Report elise July 7, 2021 1:10 PM BST
i'd save the backhand for a decent catch like a supermodel or barmaid
Report chipbutty July 7, 2021 1:22 PM BST
I don't know what the barmaids are like where you are, but mine would need a double handed backhand if you know what I mean, and I doubt even that would stun her.
Report FOYLESWAR July 7, 2021 1:59 PM BST
just a few moments ago a big fly was buzzing around my front room, the missus had left the henry hoover out ,i didnt have a newspaper to roll and swat the fooka so switched the henry on took the head and pipes off and chased it round the room after about 2 mins i caught up with marty mc fly and he dissapeared down the tube .he  musta thought he was caught  in a mini tornado.
Report 1830 July 7, 2021 3:14 PM BST
Hairspray
Report jackdaw July 7, 2021 3:28 PM BST
A house fly has a life expectancy of about 3 weeks so why not just wait it out?
Report lead on July 7, 2021 3:47 PM BST
I'd say that the midgies are more annoying..quite demented by them at times
Report barstool July 7, 2021 3:56 PM BST
Went out on a boat to dine, on Loch Neigh in Northern Ireland. Had to come to shore early as a plague of Midges descended on us. Never seen anything like it, bit the hell out of us. Scottish Highland Lochs just as bad, can't possibly fish without a hat on. Balaclava best.
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