Editor Onlooker . Sub Editor Harry Callahan.. Onlooker , Harry those lads from across the Irish Sea are humiliating us once again and I need you to find a way to at least bring a sense of pride back. Harry ,Okay Gov, I'm working on it. I just might have found something here that could be our saving grace. Onlooker , good man Harry . Harry, yes Gov its a note I found while reading Tolkien in a passage from middle Earth he speaks about magic carrots it seems a guy called Mordor found them while walking in the forest and mistook them for magic mushrooms , he ate them and found he could suddenly run the mile in under 3m 30s . Onlooker , good grief man that's extraordinary , how many of these magic carrots did he eat . Harry , I'm still working on it Gov. Onlooker , well for God sake man get a move on , you do know Aintree is just around the corner , we must have an excuse before they run amok again.. I can see the the headlines in the R.P. Irishwoman first Lady to win the National , its bad enough our Men are taking a beating at the Cricket and our horses at Cheltenham but for them to win the National with a Woman jockey now that really would be the end of us!. Harry , don't worry Gov i'm on it. Gov what if I came up with that magic carrot thing do you think anyone would believe it . Onlooker we can get them to believe anything , now put your mind into it man. Harry here it is Guv.. Magic Carrots found in Irish Trainers Bag, what do you think Gov... Onlooker , that'll put the wind up em for sure , we can always deny it and blame it on a reporter from the News of The World.