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John Gwynne- Favourite quotes

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Replies: 167
By:
Pendle Witch
When: 10 Mar 09 18:18
The Oxford/Cambridge boat race was fast approaching and the Oxford lads asked John for some advice.
"If you hold your row, you never know" was what he told them.
By:
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
When: 11 Mar 09 05:36
I recently bumped into big JG at a CACSARA convention (the Cider And Central Southern African River Appreciation society.

When I asked him for advice on my next trip, JG mused

"If you drink Strongbow, sail the Limpopo"
By:
Far From Trouble
When: 29 Jun 09 23:59
.
By:
AIDSMcGUG
When: 30 Jun 09 14:24
BORING
By:
Far From Trouble
When: 19 Dec 09 18:21
.
By:
Jeeves
When: 16 Aug 10 15:28
I asked John Gwynne about the possibility of Kirk Shephard actually winning a leg in a one sided final recently.
Among the fine pearls of wisdom offered throughout the match he came up with this cracker:
"If you hold your throw you never know"

I cryed tears of joy and I think I creamed my kecks a little.....
By:
Miami2017
When: 18 Aug 10 13:58
In the 70's, Lionel Richie was experiencing a crisis of confidence. At the time, Mr John Gwynne was working as a psychiatrist. He approached a sullen Richie in his dressing room, who couldn't even be bothered to do his hair before a show. John handed him a comb and said "If you comb your fro, you never know".
By:
Win only - Sp only
When: 18 Aug 10 17:57
An old favourite, love the way the original poster also posts a few later to indicate it was a gag all along Laugh
By:
onehundredandeighty
When: 19 Aug 10 12:49
My favourite ever thread by a mile
By:
Far From Trouble
When: 14 Dec 10 11:30
.
By:
Far From Trouble
When: 14 Dec 10 11:33
I was working as Santa in a grotto on Saturday afternoon when lo and behold John Gwynne walks in and comes over to me! Starstruck, I couldn't think of a word to say, until John piped up:

"If yo ho ho ho, you never know"
By:
Randle P. McMurphy
When: 14 Dec 10 16:48
Love it! Laugh
Simplistic Gwynne. hahaha
By:
darkie returns
When: 17 Dec 10 21:32
On Lloyd match just been said"If you hold your throw then you never know". By Harrington to Gwynne
By:
Far From Trouble
When: 18 Dec 10 00:22
Happy
By:
Randle P. McMurphy
When: 18 Dec 10 10:29
I was at a christmas party with my good friend John Gwynne when i noticed a gorgeous girl.
John turned to me and said "if you get her under the mistletoe you never know"
By:
i think i have a problem
When: 18 Dec 10 20:06
i love the way gwynne tries to say every sentance in one breath no matter how long!
By:
Beat-Nick
When: 22 Dec 10 16:44
I Think He Shud Say "This thread shud go, Dont Ya Know"!!!
By:
Nilsson Schmilsson
When: 22 Dec 10 18:34
i was playing a christmas handicap game last night and i was struggling to say the least. Luckily i have john's number so gave him a ring during the piss break.  He told me about about a new technique being used at the Ally Pally that improves ones play as well as **** up the opponent. he thought i should give it a go and he told me "if you strike a blow, you never know" 

it worked and i went on to win 3-2 Grin
By:
darkie returns
When: 29 Dec 10 10:35
http://www.johngwynne.co.uk/#
By:
Alearm
When: 29 Dec 10 14:01
John Gwynne favourite line:

"If you hold you throw, I believe you never know"
By:
Nilsson Schmilsson
When: 06 Oct 11 16:37
a couple of years ago a favourite player of mine was trapped in his hotel after london had experience the biggest snowfall since kingdom come. the problem was that he was due to play his first round match of the world championship against young dutch fatty toon greebe that very same night.

He sought the advice of Gwynne about what he should do as he faced elimination without even tickling one bit of tungsten. John after a few minutes mulling over the dilema with a glass of wine gave him the best advice he's ever received...

'if you trek through the snow, you never know'






(the last post on page 3 brought back some bad memories Cry )
By:
Lori
When: 06 Oct 11 18:58
.
http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k10/lorinda11/johnparttaxi.jpg

That one NS?
By:
Nilsson Schmilsson
When: 06 Oct 11 22:46
Laugh thats the one, i remembers it well
By:
viva el presidente!
When: 06 Oct 11 22:53
"I resign, and promise never ever to come back."
By:
DartsnBooze
When: 08 Oct 11 06:39
Hahaha Lori. The pic says it all. It's good to see the return of this old chestnut Grin
By:
Nilsson Schmilsson
When: 27 Dec 11 16:34
Cool
By:
DartsnBooze
When: 27 Dec 11 16:37
haha Nilsson, i was also looking for this thread Grin
By:
onehundredandeighty
When: 27 Dec 11 16:42
Silly Grin
By:
STEPTOES YARD
When: 27 Dec 11 16:46
loris pic of part flagging down a taxi was the highlight of that xmas for me

pathetic isnt it CryLaugh
By:
Nilsson Schmilsson
When: 27 Dec 11 16:58
only slightly
By:
patches
When: 27 Dec 11 18:54
years ago john used to bet in my bookies also used to phone a few bets through , nice bloke , i also sponsored a darts night with him , his saying was you've got to be innit to winnit , he also said when i'm famous i'ii say if you hold your throw you never know.Grin
By:
patches
When: 27 Dec 11 18:54
years ago john used to bet in my bookies also used to phone a few bets through , nice bloke , i also sponsored a darts night with him , his saying was you've got to be innit to winnit , he also said when i'm famous i'ii say if you hold your throw you never know.Grin
By:
DartsnBooze
When: 01 Jan 12 05:48
I was on the bus to town when an old drunk jumps aboard without paying. The driver lets him off the fare and carries on, but some of the old ladies start to bitch n moan. Out of nowhere John Gwynne appears and politely tells the ladies, "if you drink your booze you're bound to lose, but if you hold your dough you never know."  Coat Grin
By:
onehundredandeighty
When: 01 Jan 12 11:07
I was due to drive to London to visit some relatives for the festive period but really fancied a drink and didnt particularly feel like driving there so went down the local for a swifty when i bumped into Gwynney.I told him the situation to which he replied "If you drink the schloer,you can drive to Bow"

Plain
By:
frogamatic
When: 01 Jan 12 13:40
I was trekking in the arctic when the ice I was on broke off and I was cast adrift. Starving hungry and desperate,  I spotted a polar bear floating by on another iceberg. He smashed a hole in the ice with his giant paw, put his head in the hole and came up with a fish. "If I do that will I catch a fish too?" I asked him hopefully. He replied

"if you holed your floe, you never know"
By:
DartsnBooze
When: 09 May 12 15:14
Off topic...I'm looking for the brilliantly funny thread detailing the old days of working in a bookies that was linked her. A pointer would be much appreciated.

In the meantime here's this beauty again! Grin
By:
Nilsson Schmilsson
When: 02 Jun 12 19:47
while many are not very hopefull about englands chances at the euros, gwynny is optimistic, he said 'if you have defoe you never know'
By:
DartsnBooze
When: 21 Mar 13 14:16
Any excuse to bring this old diamond back. Get posting Grin

Sky Sports has decided to slowly faze out uncle Gwynne by giving him less and less air time.
Like most darts commentators he grates with outlandish bollocks.

He gave us the immortal catch phrase "If you hold your throw you never know."
Sky's own (clean) version: "You're way to old now off you go."

I enjoyed his darts ramblings for many years. It's not the end as he still reports on football matches in the north.
By:
Nilsson Schmilsson
When: 23 Mar 13 16:52
john's assignment for this weekend has been postponed, when asked if it might be off next weekend too he said, 'if there's lots of snow you never know' Cry
By:
STEPTOES YARD
When: 28 Jul 13 20:09
If yer hold yer throw, its time to go ...
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