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John Gwynne- Favourite quotes

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Replies: 167
By:
Far From Trouble
When: 02 Nov 08 23:32
thread of the year imo
By:
spiller1
When: 03 Nov 08 09:51
Agree - Congratulations to Yahoo for starting such a wonderful thread.

WD.

We still have a few months till 2009 but this thread will take some beating.
By:
Far From Trouble
When: 16 Nov 08 19:30
I was discussing my fantasy football league team with him for a suitable choice for a defender, as I was stumped on who to pick.

Straight away he said "If you pick Yobo, you never know"
By:
Ron Nasty
When: 16 Nov 08 20:01
gary mac phoned dennis wise for some advice as leeds are in a bit of poor form. dennis suggested a new addition to the coaching staff.
gary asked if he had any ideas of former team mates who might fit the role, dennis replied "if you go with the flo, you never know"
By:
Statattack
When: 16 Nov 08 22:21
thread is Different Gravy
By:
Ron Nasty
When: 17 Nov 08 00:43
john was asked if the cowboys have a chance against the skins
"if you've got romo, you never know"
By:
Far From Trouble
When: 19 Nov 08 12:04
By:
Screw Loose
When: 19 Nov 08 12:21
I bumped into John a few months ago as I was crying outside an MTV Music Awards Show. I told him I had lumped my Befair balance on a mainstream American Rock group at 1.10 for the lifetime Achievement award after reading a PHREE MUNNEY FRED by John Odwyer, only to find out from fellow forumites that said poster couldnt pick his nose.

John, ever the gentlemen, told me: 'If you've backed Toto, you never know...'

Having been cheered up by John's kind words, I thanked him and ran back inside, only to see them beaten into 2nd place by Rick Astley. :(
By:
spiller1
When: 19 Nov 08 19:49
.
By:
Far From Trouble
When: 22 Nov 08 11:11
just got off the phone with John, after discussing the card at Haydock today, as I was having doubts about the favourite in the 14.25.
He said "If you back Kauto, you never know"
I'm now lumping on, genius is Mr Gwynne
By:
Ron Nasty
When: 22 Nov 08 17:03
funny that about kauto but he did get his football right today
i asked him if i should go to the bank and withdraw and put the whole lot on liverpool. he wasn't so sure about the team selection and told me that "if he doesn't pick alonso, it's a definate no no"
By:
thegame
When: 29 Nov 08 20:13
With the X Factor final in a few weeks time John was asked who he fancied to take the crown and he replied:

"If you back Lorenzo, you never know"
By:
Pendle Witch
When: 18 Dec 08 19:47
John was asked to be Father Christmas at a childrens party.
When they asked if they could have the presents they wanted, the maestro said
HO HO HO, You never know.
By:
Ron Nasty
When: 19 Dec 08 03:43
do you live in pendle witch?

you might live near me


i have a feeling i may have an std, i asked john what the symptoms were. he said, "if you've been bummed by christiano, you probably allready know"
By:
Howdi
When: 19 Dec 08 06:29
they get worse but legendary thread
By:
BoyWonder07
When: 19 Dec 08 06:50
I was talking about who has the greatest body of all time with my mate a couple of weeks back, the usual names Beyonce, Carmen Electra etc came up when out of nowhere John entered in a robe and slippers and uttered some words of divine insperation: 'if you've seen her show then its Marilyn Munroe'... i thought he made a great point.
By:
Ron Nasty
When: 19 Dec 08 13:35
when asked what he thought of the maguire v burnett match at the snooker this week he remarked, "if you did your dough you wern't in the know"
By:
EarlyBath
When: 19 Dec 08 21:58
Is the great man on tonight? Havent heard his dulcet tones. I didnt know he wouldnt show.
By:
Far From Trouble
When: 30 Dec 08 22:22
:)
By:
Win only - Sp only
When: 30 Dec 08 22:24
:D
By:
tezley snipes
When: 31 Dec 08 00:00
On a recent trip to Norway I was in a bar and spotted a lovely looking tall gentleman giving me the eye. My mate spotted this and seemed to recognise this blond haired adonis from somewhere. Sensing I could get lucky, my mate said "if you hold Tore Andre Flo...you never know"

Taxi for Tezley!
By:
tezley snipes
When: 31 Dec 08 00:03
We then moved onto Japan, same scenario, this time the bloke eyeing me up was a little smaller. Cue afore-metioned mate "If you hold Inamoto...you never know"
By:
Far From Trouble
When: 31 Dec 08 00:05
I was discussing the Taylor/Stompe quarter final with him tonight at the Ally Pally - I asked him for advice on what to bet on.

He said "If you lump on Co, you never know"

cracks me up does Gwynny
By:
tezley snipes
When: 31 Dec 08 00:08
Was speaking to him just the other day about the current plight of Man City. I think they should keep faith with the current squad but Gwynney had other ideas

"If they get rid of Jo, you never know"
By:
Ron Nasty
When: 31 Dec 08 00:11
i dont know if iv'e used this one before but anyway

i was talking to john to get ideas on being an campaigner for world peace, but i'm not really sure if i'm cut out for the job. i have travelled the world like the post 2 up and explained this to john. having done so john thought i could do it, he said "if you've been cabbages yoko ono, you never know". :)
By:
spiller
When: 31 Dec 08 08:13
I HAVE SAID IT BEFORE & I WILL SAY IT AGAIN.

THREAD OF THE YEAR
By:
Gerry Gows Lad
When: 31 Dec 08 08:20
Was at the pub quiz with John were asked for name of former Cuba leader, he said ' Hold on I know, its Fidel Castro'
By:
Jeeves
When: 31 Dec 08 08:54
John Gwynne was at Goodison park on Sunday.

I asked him whether Fellaini will be any good.

John replied:

"If he shaves the 'Fro, you never know"
By:
Jeeves
When: 31 Dec 08 08:59
I was out with friends and Gwynne before christmas.

we saw a fella in a wheelchair who was pretending to have no legs.

Gwynne knew this having seen him before on a previous night out.

When asked for spare change Gwynne flipped and shouted:

"If you have got legs you get no dough"
By:
bushy
When: 31 Dec 08 10:52
I've been watching darts for many years and have always found it a fascinating sport to watch, mostly because of the psychological angle. A less-skilled arrowsmith can overcome a superior opponent through being stronger mentally, though of course a bit of luck always helps as well.

What really makes the drama of the sport work is that players take it in turns to start legs and so they'll usually be favourite when they "go first". The stronger player is of course very likely to win "his" legs but the weaker player is still often better than 50-50 to be victorious when he has "the darts". This dichotomy is, I believe, central to the sport's appeal.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I was watching the other night when a commentator suddenly came out with something that brilliantly encapsulated everything I've written above. I'm not exactly sure who it was that uttered this gem, but I believe it may have been John Gwynne. What he actually said was:

[Edited by Betfair Customer Services]
By:
max1million
When: 31 Dec 08 11:22
Yesterday's Yellowhammer pun came close but there was one time when he said "if you hold your throw, you never know" and that beat all, had to have hernia surgery after i stopped laughing :^0
By:
trademark
When: 31 Dec 08 12:41
Sitting in the commentary box with Gwynny last night at the Pally when the brunette walk on girl comes over and starts giving me the eye. Now i'm no oil painting but I thought I may have a chance with her when Gwynny turned to me and said,
'If you ply her with Ouzo, you never know'.
By:
bigtime
When: 31 Dec 08 13:05
Have only caught bits of tourny this year and havent heard JG utter the immortal line yet? Has he said it much?
Closest I heard was the other day when apparently there was "Nothing iffy.....about Smiffy"
By:
Far From Trouble
When: 02 Jan 09 14:03
By:
Far From Trouble
When: 09 Mar 09 13:27
I was sat down on a bench in town the other day, reading the Racing Post trying to solve the C0ral Cup, when I received a tap on my shoulder. To my surprise I turned round to see Gwynney stood there.
He said "If you back Psycho, you never know".
A shrewd man is Gwynney B-)
By:
Dogster
When: 10 Mar 09 00:51
A welcome return for THE thread of the 21st century.
By:
kirsner
When: 10 Mar 09 02:49
:)
By:
kirsner
When: 10 Mar 09 02:49
:( :O :S :P :S
By:
Will I ever learn?
When: 10 Mar 09 17:10
I was doing a sponsored walk in the vast wastelands of Dubai recently.

Having been on said adventure for over 10 days I was starting to feel a little frisky and in need of a bit of action.

After a while I stumbled upon a tent with what looked like a young bird lying on the floor. On further inspection I was unsure if it was a man or indeed a female that I had been craving for, due to the ninja mask covering the face.

After a few minutes gazing at the tight figure hugging garment that was adorning the sleeping, potential beauty, I decided to leave.

Just as I was about to go I heard a voice shouting out from within a wicker basket.

I could be wrong, but I was sure it was the guy I used to hear on the darts.

"If you see a camel toe, give it a go!!"
By:
Ron Nasty
When: 10 Mar 09 17:40
a friend of mine was talking to john and he asked him if he would win RON NASTY'S WILBURY WONDERLAND, TOMORROW @ 8PM ON CHIT-CHAT, he said he knows all the wilbury songs and quite a lot of dylan and petty too. john could only reply "if you know ELO you never know
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