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John Gwynne- Favourite quotes

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Replies: 167
By:
King Cally
When: 05 Apr 08 19:51
This thread started woefully and has got worse ever since.
By:
Howdi
When: 05 Apr 08 20:19
giggle though 7-2 that john mentiones some on finals night :)
By:
Ghuna Be Great
When: 05 Apr 08 23:56
Asked if he was wearing the stain free denim jeans , The Gwynnester said "if youve got to go , you never know"
By:
Yahoo
When: 06 Apr 08 13:59
Gwynnes grandson was keen to get in the school band but wasnt sure which instrument to play. Grandad Gwynne gave this advice.
"If you play the Piccolo, you never know"
By:
Jacopo Peterman
When: 06 Apr 08 14:15
i was talking to about john about a sexual problem that i have and it is that i only seem to fancy japanese women, i explained this to john and he replied, "if you fancy yoko ono, you've got problem you know"
By:
Far From Trouble
When: 06 Apr 08 17:38
I also saw him at the Annual Gardening Convention I overheard him talking to somebody about growing something to make his own cigarettes

He said "If you want tobacco, just let it grow"
By:
Howdi
When: 06 Apr 08 18:36
last few very poor boys :)
By:
Jacopo Peterman
When: 06 Apr 08 18:58
i was holidaying in argentina and fancied sampling some of south americas most famous illiegal export so i went looking for a man on the street and when i found him and asked, he replied " as a famous darts commentating friend of mine would say "if you want some blow, you'll have to see diego"
By:
Jacopo Peterman
When: 06 Apr 08 19:00
DAMN IT SEEMS LIKE I'M COPYING
By:
Jacopo Peterman
When: 06 Apr 08 19:04
i was talking to ossie ardiles while he was working at sky and i asked him what he thinks of spurs' chances next season with the current players and coaches he said. "if you've got gustavo, you never know"

but he also replie......





















DON'T BE **CING STUPID
By:
SIRTOMJONES
When: 06 Apr 08 19:37
as i was slipping on a condom in my room recently, gwynny stuck his head in the door and said" if you wanna c um , its best done in a nun" filthy habit he has got
By:
Jacopo Peterman
When: 09 Apr 08 21:37
barney was talking to john about the rumors that the echo arena will be half empty and asked john if the arena would be full, he answered, "if they've got their dole, the crowd will be whole"
By:
inatimate1
When: 11 Apr 08 02:57
Great thread :)

Must admit, I bumped into him at B&Q in Llandudno a few weeks ago in the gardening section. Didn't know he was such a keen gardener, and I was telling him about the fact that none of the grass in my garden was growing because of a bad case of overgrown weeds. He gave me some grand advice which I will never forget, something along the lines of. "If your grass doesn't grow, you should first use a hoe", words of wisdom ;-)
By:
SIRTOMJONES
When: 11 Apr 08 08:11
was once competing with gymnny in a snot eating competition, he stared me right in the eye and said" son, if can eat 10 bogeys, then you are better than this old fogey" a shiver went down my spine
By:
commander
When: 11 Apr 08 10:48
Once met John backstage at a P.Diddy concert. Overheard P.Diddy asking John if he would always be this successful, john replied something along the lines of,..........."If you lose your flow, you never know"
By:
Yahoo
When: 11 Apr 08 12:37
John Gwynne
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

John Gwynne (born 1945, England, UK) is a former teacher and present British sports commentator and reporter. He is a commentator for the PDC darts tournaments which air on Sky Sports and also a reporter for the station's Saturday football results show Soccer Saturday with Jeff Stelling. Additionally, he covers matches in League One and League Two and midweek matches. He has previously worked for BBC Radio Five Live.

Before joining Sky Sports' coverage of darts, he was the lead commentator for BBC Radio Lancashire's coverage of Lancashire County Cricket Club matches and often filed reports on Lancashire's progress for the BBC's North West Tonight during the summer months.

When not commentating he is well known as an after-dinner speaker and toastmaster.

His son, Andrew, is the Labour MP for Denton and Reddish.

Gwynne is also well known, particularly in darts, for his famous saying of 'if you hold your throw, you never know'.
By:
inatimate1
When: 11 Apr 08 13:08
He could quite possibly be the only person who could make test cricket sound interesting...

"If you don't hit four, you'll run more"
By:
Far From Trouble
When: 11 Apr 08 14:01
I was talking to him about my new car, and discussing the best fuels to use. Iasked about BP and Texaco but he stopped me to say "If you use Esso, you never know"
By:
SIRTOMJONES
When: 11 Apr 08 16:17
was once competing with gwnny at at a c ock holding competition( the feathered type) with a look of determination in his eyes of knowledge he whipsered with wonderful authority" son, if your hold your c ock right, i will look after you tonight"

When Alexander of Macedonia was 33 he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer - sir tom was only 27 at the time!
By:
Lozzy
When: 12 Apr 08 13:21
'if you hold your throw, you never know'.
By:
Far From Trouble
When: 20 Apr 08 16:37
"If you hold your throw, you never know" is a shocking omission IMO :)
By:
skybluesam
When: 22 Apr 08 15:55
How come no one's mentioned "If you hold your throw, you never know"
By:
Yahoo
When: 02 May 08 08:22
Another cracker from John last night.
"One dart for John Part".
By:
richblade
When: 02 May 08 23:24
He once said 'Why do women shave down below ... It's a garden Let it Grow'
By:
Ghuna Be Great
When: 04 May 08 00:37
he does say "ho ho ho i did tell you so " a lot but for me the favourite quote is

"If you hold your throw ... you never know"
By:
thegame
When: 05 May 08 13:43
LOL...John Virgo just tried to create his own..."Whatever you do, don't hit the blue!"
By:
Far From Trouble
When: 25 May 08 19:10
"If you hold your throw, you never know" is by far the best of JG's quotes :^0
By:
Howdi
When: 25 May 08 19:56
lets vote for the best one please.
By:
Far From Trouble
When: 25 May 08 22:39
I vote "If you hold your throw, you never know"

:)
By:
Yahoo
When: 11 Jun 08 13:27
.
By:
honestcl
When: 13 Jun 08 20:29
Just sitting here with Gwynny and he's been chuckling at this thread while we watch Big Brother Eviction. I don't like BB myself but he insisted we watched as he had a bet. I asked what the best bet was to win a few quid. With a wry look in his eye he spoke with wisdom, "If you back Mario to go, you never know."
By:
honestcl
When: 13 Jun 08 20:37
Seems Gwynny is a non-stop betting man. He even bets on the weather. Just had 200 on Britain's hottest day and then a cool 500 on there being a White Christmas. As he said himself, "If you back snow, you never know"
By:
honestcl
When: 13 Jun 08 20:59
honestcl 13 Jun 21:29


Just sitting here with Gwynny and he's been chuckling at this thread while we watch Big Brother Eviction. I don't like BB myself but he insisted we watched as he had a bet. I asked what the best bet was to win a few quid. With a wry look in his eye he spoke with wisdom, "If you back Mario to go, you never know."

_______________

He's incensed. Kicking off big time after the shock of 1.03 Mario not getting evicted.

"That Scouse ho, has cost me my dough!!!!"
By:
Howdi
When: 13 Jun 08 21:29
standard dropped.
By:
King Cally
When: 13 Jun 08 22:12
standard maintained at **ing low imo
By:
Princesse D'Anjou
When: 20 Jun 08 15:48
On Steve Drowne for top jock at Ascot he just said "if you backed Stevo, you may win dough"
By:
bigtime
When: 08 Jul 08 12:44
On one occasion when Phil Taylor took a couple of ladies back to his caravan, he invited John Gwynne to accompany them asking him to lighten the mood with some light-hearted commentary.

The first lady went down on The Power, initially at a frenetic pace akin to Co Stompe at the oche, John observed, but after holding her position for longer than a leg in legends darts, the other girl grew restless and asked Oldham's finest son....

"Will he ever come?"

John responded: "If you hold your blow, you never know."
By:
scottish_tipster
When: 08 Jul 08 17:01
Eric Birstow once asked Mr Gwynne if he would ever come back from dartitis, John repiled "if you hold your throw, you never know".
By:
spiller1
When: 09 Jul 08 08:21
For all those knowlegable people on this forum one does apologise in advance.

But for all those less knowledgeable people I felt it necessary to highlight the following:

In times gone by (most particularly the 1920's) it was customary for no foul language in public places.

It was common for the lads down the ale houses to get out of their trees on the strong hop ales. When this occured their tounges would become slack and the language would increase.

Well one day Lord Harry Crapington, well known govenor of the streets declared no more foul language.

The lads in the pub then devised what is know as buzz words; these are words with other meanings. (a sort of slang) Well one of these buzz words was "throw". The throw was actually another name for**

Now lets fast forward to the PDC a couple of moths ago:

Gwynne and Sid were in the modern day ale house (the wine bar) talking about the past and present.

All of a sudden they both overheard Muttley calling Bingo a w#nker.

Well this got them both talking about the subject og wa#king.

Sid turned to Gwynne and said I haven't done it in years cos the old boy won't play. To which Gwynne replied "if you hold your throw -you never know"

This is a true story.
By:
spiller1
When: 11 Jul 08 10:59
I was actually asked if this was true. LOL
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