The 'Rapture' Live reports thread

The BBC News seem to be pretending its not happening.

Anyone got any tips or advice for being raptured today?

I've bought a terry's chocolate orange for St. Peter when I meet him at the gates later, hoping that'll get me thru check in quicker.

1.01 If the end of the world happens the BBC will blame it on Brexit and C4 news on Trump.

I'll blame it on all you d-mned heathens who watched "Love Island" - the TV Sodom and Gomorrah heralding the End Times.

I thought a rapture was a dinosaur - is that the velociraptor? Is there going to be one appearing soon then?

Zorro been spotted on top of a hill with a suitcase and his hair combed.
All dressed up and Noel where to go (pun intended)

On holiday, nothing to report here. Wish I'd bought a return though.

does anyone know if there are going to be some sort of warm up act before the big event, or is it just going to be a snap of the fingers sort of thing?

I've not heard the trumpets yet, they are likely to be the first sign to awaken the dead.
I'm wearing my kitchen foil lined cap today, just in case...

In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.

From St Paul's first letter to the Corinthians according to the King James version of the bible.

Israel's two hours ahead of us, so we should have between 5.5 and 6.5 hrs to wait. 

Tremours reported in North Korea ,edge of the seat stuff for Zorro ...this could go down to the wire .

All quiet in Glasgow

I'm wearing good underwear jut in case. My mum always taught me, you don't want the end of the world to happen or be lifted up to meet your maker wearing holey dirty underwear.

It's ok if you wear Holy underwear, it's a special shade of extra black, not very very very very dark blue which is a common mistake.

What do we have to do to be saved?

Is it too late.

Just wondered.

Just, you know, in case....

Its just occurred to me that they might not accept the old pound coins in heaven so I'd advise people to go spend them quick.

We're going to collide with the planet Nibiru (it's existense has been covered up by NASA). If it just was a small asteroid, then maybe we could send up Bruce Willis or Superman, but diverting a planet gonna be hard me thinks.

Harry Kane just missed an open goal....it's starting.

The insurance companies knew about it years ago, that's what they meant by those "act of god" clauses.
The insurinati had it all sewn up.

North Korea: Tremor detected near weapon test site

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-41371867

A dead pigeon has appeared on the driveway, I assume he was the one hogging the birdbath this morning and didn't repent in time.

Iran tests missile despite Trump pressure

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-41371309

Indonesia: Bali volcano highest alert issued

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-41367395

something happening in hampshire, maybe orson wells is back to
rebroadcast war of the worlds?

as david essex sang, ...the chances of anything coming from mars
are a million to one....

as david essex sang, ...the chances of anything coming from mars
are a million to one....

Has to be bait.

M3 Winchester closed: Thousands of drivers hit by delays

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-41371699

No one would have believed in the first years of the twentyfirst century
That human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space
No one could have dreamed that we were being scrutinized
As someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water
Few men even considered the possibility of life on other planets
And yet, across the gulf of space
Minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this Earth with envious eyes
And slowly and surely
They drew their plans against us

At midnight, on the 22nd of September
A huge mass of luminous gas erupted from Mars and sped towards Earth
Across two hundred million miles of void
Invisibly hurtling towards us
Came the first of the missiles that were to bring so much calamity to Earth

As I watched, there was another jet of gas
It was another missile, starting on its way

And that's how it was for the next ten nights
A flare, spurting out from Mars
Bright green, drawing a green mist behind it
A beautiful, but somehow disturbing sight
Ogilvy, the astronomer, assured me we were in no danger
He was convinced there could be no living thing on that remote
Forbidding planet

The chances of anything coming from Mars
Are a million to one, he said
The chances of anything coming from Mars
Are a million to one, but still, they come

"There shall, in that time, be rumors of things going astray, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things .. with the sort of raffia work base that has an attachment. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock. Yea, it is written in the book of Cyril that, in that time, shall Moneytree back a winner"

trilby got a right dab on clutching at these straws ffs
well they do say god works in mysterious ways

Nah Dusty ... just looking at the news whilst listening to the Old Firm

God, with a capital "G", btw

satan gets the small letters.  HTH

Million Looks value but they will hide behind T+C's and kok on the deal .                   thou shall not win on speciality bets at big odds is written in stone .

martians lumping all their cash on at 1,000,000/1 sadly forgetting
to keep a few quids for their flu jabs

aye
god taking count of the lapse punctuation now too eh?
well he allowed apple to control things and apple does that boring work for us so its his fault.

he did after all create the trap of the apple you could say.

Puerto Rico dam failure 'imminent' after Hurricane Maria

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-41368478

just popped to the shops.

nothing unusual to report.

half an hour until sundown in jerusalem.....

its a bit like last day of the transfer window innit?

Without the 24/7 continuous Sky coverage.

Apparently God had a bet in the Ayr Gold Cup and has postponed the rapture until the event is run at Haydock next Saturday.

sept 24th now down under etc

sun setting in the holy city. can't be long now.

Noticeable by his absence. You can come out from under the table now son, it was a bit like the Millenium Bug.

I wonder how 'believers' have spent their day?

well if they really watch tv counting how many time people use certain words and think these are signs or code then I think they will continue to be irrational, since this non event wont solve mental illness.

Saw a poster on the train today:

Clash of Drums an outdoor spectacular in Birmingham city center. 23rd September 2017

It's too apt an event not to be a celebration of the end of the world.

Latalomne 23 Sep 17 17:16 
I wonder how 'believers' have spent their day?

Personally, I took advantage of a dry day and cut my grass..............and thanked the Lord for everything I have............

All has been forgiven.....Amen

https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video;_ylt=AwrNH8D7lMZZy10AkQ6JzbkF?p=...

^  Wrong link
https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?fr=mcafee&p=were+doomed#id=2&vid...

There is a bit of wind here in Dublin.
The pigeons thought their end was night when next door's orange cat came sneaking across the garden.

All quiet in Perth ... apart from my Dr Hook collection ...

still a good 14 hours of the day left on baker island.....

AC/DC

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etAIpkdhU9Q

Does Richard have THE JACK?

Let There Be Rock ... imo.

Malcolm Young ... the driving FORCE behind AC/DC.

Rock on mate!

busted royal flush ? was so sure. fk it.

will have to watch game of thrones now.
was sure i did not have time to see it.