Dog walking etiquette?

Wear your Villa shirt.

Good shout just ordered the new bird the away kit to wear in the bedroom for me

I have a mate who is a season ticket holder , he would be proud of you.

head down, walk to heel.

failing that, pretend the dog is called something really offensive and keep calling out the name.

Wear headphones/plugs...and start singing when they approach. Even if you don't sing, they'll not talk to you.

Like it lads will give it a try, however looking forward when im single again think i might have to get myself a dog as easy to randomly talk to fit birds

Dark glasses very offputting for a potential 'chatter'. If you're wearing them in cloudy weather even better (they'll think you're a wrong un).

I'm sorry it's the law. you must say hello to everyone else walking their dogs and stop for a chat with anyone with
a similar or an unusual breed. As said above, dark glasses and also headphones put most chatters off but you must still
say hello or face arrest

Talk about your visits to 'your' psychiatrist and how he's helping you to deal with your violent impulses.

Probably end up getting the park/wood to yourself.

I wouldn't worry too much. This new burd will realise pretty quickly that you are a wrong'un and will punt you back into studio flat land before any real harm is done

Have you tried sniffing their arse?

Been watching too many Benny Hill re runs (nap).

Now i know for sure that these people wouldn't stop and "chat" if I didn't have a dog with me.


Bit worried about your relationship prepared83. Can't see it lasting long if you keep referring to her as a dog !  I'm sure she's got a nice personality

Will post the usual pic of us on my twitter page once we're official so you can make your own mind up. I usually get
plenty of abuse for the pics of me so looking forward to it

Abuse from people on here..............never

ha i love it so bring it on, f eck it might post the pic of me and her on my twitter a bit later so let me know what you think and bring on the abuse

Unlike Donald I don't do Twitter

Just pretend you've got tourettes and when someone approaches just jerk your head and shout F*ck it, bollocks, tits etc, think they'll walk past!

Might need to video my next dog walking session as a few great ideas on here would be a great laugh

Even politely apologizing that you're deaf, and that really, honestly you can't understand them doesn't deter them. They just keep repeating the same thing at you, over and over, with no facial expressions, no miming, and no imagination or effort at all basically.

But try showing them the signs for DOG, HOW OLD?, NAME?, or whatever else it is they might be prattling, and they do then suddenly lose all interest in communication, and leave you alone.

Easiest answer is just avoid it by waiting until it's dark to take the dog out.

Bye.

(In case you're wondering, DOG is signed by miming two front paws begging [see the Malteser advert, with the two deaf girls signing to each other]; for HOW OLD? waggle the fingers of one hand on the tip of your nose - the same sign on your chin is HOW MUCH?; for NAME you touch the side of your forehead with the index and middle fingers together.)

You sure all these fella's aren't your bird's ex BF's that recognise the dog and are wondering how it's doing?

Doubt it unless shes into dating 65 year old men who dribble

Put a long mac on and look around furtively with your hands in your pockets