Conservative Man: Either a gassy Spanish Lager that can only be necked by the bottle with a wedge of lime or a bottle of vintage claret paid for on expenses. Conservative Woman: Chardonnay or Lambrini, depending on who is looking.
Labour Man: Organic nettle flavoured Lager filtered through the unwashed fleece of a hand-reared Swedish sheep, in a straight glass. Labour Woman: New Zealand Sauvignan Blanc or sparkling water from the Andes filtered through Fidel Castro's sock.
Lib Dem Man: Rioja or Lager Top Lib Dem Woman: Rioja or Lager Top
UKIP Man: Pint of Real Ale made by British micro-breweries in a pint glass with a handle and dimples at Wetherspoons. UKIP Woman: Half-Pint of Real Ale made by British micro-breweries in a half-pint glass.