Right, let's have a Christmas poem competition ... and here's a starter

When I awoke this morning
When all things sweet are born
A Robin perched upon my sill
To signal coming morn

He was fragile, sweet and young
So softly did he sing
And thoughts of happiness and joy
Into my heart did bring

I smiled softly at his song
And paused beside my bed
Then gently closed the window
And crushed his fecking head

(soz, old one from '74 but had to re-live it here)

Happy Hogswatch everyone
The dying year will soon be done
A brand new year is at the door
so live each day and hope for more.

As I lie here in my bed
Wondering if I’ll soon be dead
I drink to aid forgetting
The money that I lost from betting
One more can of Scrumpy Jack
And I’ll soon be in the black
One Christmas card sits on my shelf
The one I sent to myself
With Christmas dinner in the toaster
This is the life of a chit chat poster.

Xmoneyx
You've not quite got the gist
Unless of course you wrote your post
When you were really pi$$ed

I have always hated poetry,most of it anyway.....Pam Ayers wasn't bad though.

Acey, nearly a fine effort ...

I've always hated poetry
Most of it anyway
Pam Ayers wasn't bad though
You just need a last line to finish and it will be quite ok

Santa Claus loves a winning bet,
In case poor Rudolph needs the vet.
Vets don`t come cheap and are very deer,
About the same cost of 10 gallons of beer.
Can you imagine how old Santa would feel,
If he had no cash and his pal cut his heel!

Merry Xmas to all on Chit Chat
Even all the Tory brats!

dong ding hately on low
in Devils guns are bleeding
dong ding hately on low
hells angels are killing

aaaaah aaaaaah aaaah
hosanna in a basket

What if ...

It was part of the "elite's" plan to divide?

To create and destroy?

Christian from Moslem - is that the plan?

Well, Satan's Claws ...

You can kiss my 'arrisman.

Let's put the CHRIST back into Christmas, eh?

The quality of the rhyming and of the scan
Seems to degenerate as we go later into the night, to a man
I can only conclude that it's because the chit chatters
Are getting slowly pi$$ed, and nothing else matters

But some laudable efforts ...WD

I'm off to buy the christmas tree
Its fifty quid this year
T'missus wants a prickly one
She's full of seasons cheer

So I'm girding up my loins
My duty is so clear
Will Santa empty his sac for her?
He comes but once a year

So I'm dusting off my Santa suit
And trying on the beard
She's clamping on the antlers
It's all a little weird


But if it keeps her happy
And full of yuletide cheer
I'll squeeze inside her chimney
Before a rest, then beer

I'll gallop her round the house
But if she climbs the tree
She'll  have found safe sanctuary
Too many prickles for me

my bullshiit bets then xmas   chris rea tribute

piano intro

my bullshiit bets then xmas
oh I can't wait ,betfair smiling faces
my bullshiit bets then xmas,yea
im roida moving down that line
and it's been 1.01
but I will stay there
yes zipp is wrong
to pass 4pm away
bigmart in my car
my bullshiit bets then xmas

it's gonna take my bank
a photo,take care
tip to tip of faugheen
oh I got segal on the run
crackerpants on the freeway,yea
thinks his bets on holy ground

so i trade for you
but you can't hear me
bigmart gets thru
closest to me
bullshiit bets then xmas
bullshiit bets then xmas
with 1.01 memories



http://www.noadradio.com/music/Chris+Rea

Mine seems to have been deleted.

It's Christmas time again
For all us merry men
Smoking, drinking, eating
Playing cards and cheating

The wives are in the kitchen
The kids are feeding Blitzen
Mum's on the Sherry
Dad's way past merry

Now we've had our dinner
Let's find the King George winner
Conti, Card or Al Ferof
The weather might just put some off

As we sit down to watch the Queen
Most of us are not to keen
I can't wait till they've all gone
So that I can get it on

My opus has been expunged from the thread.

In it I insulted BF punters who backed Chelsea, the Welsh, the Scotch, the Irish and I think I had a little dig at Muslims if I remember correctly but the verse about the latter was quite mild in comparison to the others.

I wonder who complained.

p.s. I, personally, have strong allegiance to at least two of those categories myself anyway!

doughnut upset the religion of peace

you know it will end up sadly

why do they protest & create unrest

when we can all have it gladly



what a load of sh!te

boxing ...

it rhymes, but only a little bit
it scans, but not much better
so given that I think it could be
the eventual winner

At last, we have found the spiritual heir to Philip Larkin.

Bravo that man, Bravo.

alun where has it gone?????

It may not have been Larkin
but it caused the mods to hearken
it now seems to have gone missing
no hurrahs from me, no kissing.

In this green and pleasant land,
the right to speak it seems is banned,
unless you utter words we like,
you will be issued a first strike.

do not upset the unfriendly native,
Nor display your red commemorative,
do not dare to broach this subject,
Learn the new laws, the new collect

mememe . I leave Chit Chat for 5 minutes (under 3 hrs) and when I return I find I've been burgled, Oooooeeer missus.

For those who may not know it, this one isn't just for Christmas, or even for Ch..........

"Invictus" is a  poem by the English poet William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.[1]

Churchill, Mandela, and Countless others , to many to list here have been inspired by this.

I think the deletion of the poem was maybe ordered by the same (possibly demented) people who investigated, erm, Basil Brush for this alleged "Hate Crime"

No missus, please don't t!tter, this really happened.


.
http://www.theguardian.com/culture/tvandradioblog/2008/mar/18/isbasilbrushracist

It's Christmas time again my dear,
the children seem to love it still
always happens this time of year,
We'll stuff ourselves and have our fill.

Not everyone joins in the fun.
there are those who seek the gloom.
with this celebration I will run
leave the naysayers in their closed room.

It's Christmas time once again
But the kids in The Criminal People's Republic of Newham
Will have to write 'Happy Winterval' with their pen
For fear of otherwise offending Peace-Loving brethren
And you can forget about your School Christmas Carol Service
We'll have none of that caper, it would be a disservice
To those that follow a Peace-Loving religion
No no no, not even a smidgen
Of British tradition in schools at this time of year
Unless you want to get a clipped ear
From the stooges in charge of Educashun
Across this Tolerant Multicultural Nation
I would bet big money this situation will fester and fester
But on previous form I wouldn't get paid out by The Jester from Chester.

THE END

alun, we seem to have similar inspiration.

Yes, he tried to inspire me this morning and I told him it would be deleted.

That Basil was a lad, eh

Surprised it lasted so long,

Rudolf the red nosed badger, had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw him, you could even say it glows
He fled somerset to avoid being culled for TB,
And set up a home in Carlisle
Poor b*gger drowned like a rat in the floods
Christmas sucks
And drowns badgers with a prediposition to respiratory infections

JC

Invictus is one of my favourite poems, foxy   We

Invictus is one of my favourite poems, foxy   We

Whoops

We used to have a poem thread, remember.  I always liked that, very civilised

annie, of course a person of your caliber, would know and appreciate it.

Flattery will get you everywhere, foxy

A merry Christmas and a happy new year to almost all
long may your life light shine bright and never dim
until it’s time to shuffle off your mortal coil with all its stress
leaving this world for eternity leaving your vi
m and vigor behind you, along with your gimp masks
and various dodgy photographs of girls aloud for
even your god will join you in an Armagnac
unless you’ve been a naughty boy, you moron,
then the devil will pop a cap in your ass.

fookin hell boxing
your poem doesn't rhyme or scan
it's looks a sure fire favourite
to win by a mile

Christmas Time,
No mistletoe or wine,
Nobody's singing as that's now a crime.
Throw flags on the fire
And boats in the sea
A time to rejoice when we reach Germany.

Roses are Red
Violets are blue
Merry Christmas from me
to all of you   

The poem at 15:35 is indeed first-class. I believe it features what is called Blank Verse, and getting technical for a moment was surely inspired by the famous Firstlast School of Poetry.


We Have A Winner.

alun you a a genius, as kweeveen would say TAKE A BOW.

I confess….I had an informant…..

I know

This Be The Verse
They feck you up when on jihad.
They really mean to, and they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fecked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats with beards,
And when the sh1t kicked off you'd learn
That they'd fecked off and disappeared.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And grab those virgins for yourself

This is all becoming very deep and meaningful

I'd imagined that the competition would generate entries such as...

The boy stood on the burning deck
His todger painted blue
And shouted loudly at passing boats
"Well it is my Christmas too"

OK I'll lower the tone

There was an old man from Nantucket
Whose ***k was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
If my ear was a ***t I could **** it.

Dec 9, 2015 -- 12:39PM, alun2005 wrote:

The poem at 15:35 is indeed first-class. I believe it features what is called Blank Verse, and getting technical for a moment was surely inspired by the famous Firstlast School of Poetry.We Have A Winner.

Looks as if you are the only one who got it, even with the clue you gave there are no other takers

How's about this one foxy?

Blemished and Fat
Foolish by Far
Idle with Alarm
Slurring a Wrong
Arsing all Day
Sneaking from the Tomb
Usurping the Calm
Hang on a Mo'
Life on the Dole

Fckin hell, how did you find that out.