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07 Jun 15
16:28
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Date Joined:
20 Dec 10
A single mother says she has been left "shattered" after a council removed her son's headstone without asking her permission.
Max Corbett-Gardener died aged four three years ago from complications associated with severe epilepsy.
His mother Jo, of Malvern, Worcestershire, said she was told the star-shaped stone for Max was "not in keeping" with others in the cemetery.
Malvern Town Council said it had had complaints about the stone's shape.
Ms Corbett said it had taken her three years to feel able to organise a stone for Max.
She said: "It would have been his seventh birthday on the Sunday, and this was like a birthday present to him from me.
"I chose a star-shaped stone because I wanted something suitable for Max - something personal. This stone is just so perfect for my poor little chap."
Ms Corbett said the council had removed the stone on Monday, three days after it was erected.
"I was totally unaware this was going on," she said. "The council did not contact me and it was the stonemason who told me he'd been ordered to remove it.
"I feel upset, distressed and angry. We have been through so much as a family. I could understand if the grave was uncared for or unsightly, but it isn't."
Ms Corbett said she was aware of council rules governing the size and upkeep of stones, but not regarding their shape.
She said she had been told the grave would have been allowed if it had been in the children's section of Great Malvern Cemetery, but she had opted to have it in the lawn cemetery, close to other relatives.
Malvern Town Council said it felt "great sympathy" for Ms Corbett's loss. It said the mason had failed to consult with it over the shape.
"We have a conformity of shapes in our lawn cemetery," the council said. "We were contacted by people who objected to the shape. The longer it stayed up, the harder the process would have been.
"It was a very difficult decision to remove it but one we had to make straight away."
What a miserable bunch of no good c*nts, complaining over the shape of a boy's gravestone.
Max Corbett-Gardener died aged four three years ago from complications associated with severe epilepsy.
His mother Jo, of Malvern, Worcestershire, said she was told the star-shaped stone for Max was "not in keeping" with others in the cemetery.
Malvern Town Council said it had had complaints about the stone's shape.
Ms Corbett said it had taken her three years to feel able to organise a stone for Max.
She said: "It would have been his seventh birthday on the Sunday, and this was like a birthday present to him from me.
"I chose a star-shaped stone because I wanted something suitable for Max - something personal. This stone is just so perfect for my poor little chap."
Ms Corbett said the council had removed the stone on Monday, three days after it was erected.
"I was totally unaware this was going on," she said. "The council did not contact me and it was the stonemason who told me he'd been ordered to remove it.
"I feel upset, distressed and angry. We have been through so much as a family. I could understand if the grave was uncared for or unsightly, but it isn't."
Ms Corbett said she was aware of council rules governing the size and upkeep of stones, but not regarding their shape.
She said she had been told the grave would have been allowed if it had been in the children's section of Great Malvern Cemetery, but she had opted to have it in the lawn cemetery, close to other relatives.
Malvern Town Council said it felt "great sympathy" for Ms Corbett's loss. It said the mason had failed to consult with it over the shape.
"We have a conformity of shapes in our lawn cemetery," the council said. "We were contacted by people who objected to the shape. The longer it stayed up, the harder the process would have been.
"It was a very difficult decision to remove it but one we had to make straight away."
What a miserable bunch of no good c*nts, complaining over the shape of a boy's gravestone.
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sad sick people 'we were contacted by people who objected to the shape' I wonder who (or what???) they were - star shape and all that. It smells to me. I wonder which people would complain about a STAR shape hmmmm?
Absolutely dreadful!
Mealy mouthed, spineless, waste of space "civil servants" (or should that be "uncivil servants") who didn't have the guts, and decency,
to tell the poor woman what they were doing!
Seems to me that they have, effectively, stolen the headstone.
Mealy mouthed, spineless, waste of space "civil servants" (or should that be "uncivil servants") who didn't have the guts, and decency,
to tell the poor woman what they were doing!
Seems to me that they have, effectively, stolen the headstone.
"God is not Great - How Religion Poisons Everything" by Christopher Hitchens gives a great insight in to the negative aspects of religion and why incidents like this happen
Back the council 100% here. Where would it end if you could have any shape you liked. Silly women should of shown more thought respect to the other grieving people.
Only criticism is that maybe the council could of dealt with the situation in a more sensitive manner.
Only criticism is that maybe the council could of dealt with the situation in a more sensitive manner.
Yes Steve, there has to be rules, but surely the monumental mason should have given guidance here!
I agree with Steve but I wonder if all the relevant details are available here. Apparently, it would have been OK in the children's section so its possible the stonemason thought it was destined for there.
Regarding the shape of the headstone...I would not like to guess at WHICH particular branch of society objected...but I will bet that it wasn't the section that Mobo would like to blame (apparently). It doesn't even indicate the number of 'points' on this particular star.
Regarding the shape of the headstone...I would not like to guess at WHICH particular branch of society objected...but I will bet that it wasn't the section that Mobo would like to blame (apparently). It doesn't even indicate the number of 'points' on this particular star.
Five points naydam
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-33022192
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-33022192
I've seen the photograph of the headstone, and it's not some awful monstrosity. It's totally suitable for the poor young lad. Shocking decision by the council.
Thank you, Foinavon. That might rather dent the musing of an earlier poster.
was it a five-pointed star or, allahu akbar, a six-pointed star?
This issue aside have you been to a grave yard recently?
Some real eyesores totally out of keeping with the traditional gravestone. Some look more like a Facebook page or a dating website. Some of the kid's look like they've dumped the contents of the childs bedroom on the grave. And not a lot of RIP with the number of clanking wind chimes.
There seems like some sort of one upmanship I'm not surprised some people complain, it looks very tacky to me.
Some real eyesores totally out of keeping with the traditional gravestone. Some look more like a Facebook page or a dating website. Some of the kid's look like they've dumped the contents of the childs bedroom on the grave. And not a lot of RIP with the number of clanking wind chimes.
There seems like some sort of one upmanship I'm not surprised some people complain, it looks very tacky to me.
View from the front gate of Malvern Cemetery.
A star shaped headstone spoils that?
A star shaped headstone spoils that?
View from the front gate of Malvern Cemetery.
A star shaped headstone spoils that?
.
http://i61.tinypic.com/16bdi89.jpg
A star shaped headstone spoils that?
.
http://i61.tinypic.com/16bdi89.jpg
Some things make you despair.
That fact that this sad incident has managed to get all the way from a few moaning prícks to the gravestone's subsequent removal without anyone along the chain taking the correct stance of "go fúck yourself" is truly depressing.
That fact that this sad incident has managed to get all the way from a few moaning prícks to the gravestone's subsequent removal without anyone along the chain taking the correct stance of "go fúck yourself" is truly depressing.
"Malvern Town Council said it felt great sympathy for Ms Corbett's loss".
Bullshít. Actions speak louder than words, they obviously have no sympathy or compassion whatsoever.
Bullshít. Actions speak louder than words, they obviously have no sympathy or compassion whatsoever.
Can anyone comprehend somebody standing in front of a child's gravestone and the thought going through their heads being "hmmm, I don't like the look of that shape, to whom can I complain?"
Fúcking ársehóles.
Fúcking ársehóles.
Steve Voltage • June 7, 2015 8:35 PM BST
Back the council 100% here. Where would it end if you could have any shape you liked. Silly women should of shown more thought respect to the other grieving people.
In what respect is she failing to show respect for other grieving people?
When I visit graves of loved ones I barely take notice of the surroundings as the cemetery is well looked after.
I saw the photo and it looked okay and would suggest the people showing a lack of respect are those complaining.
Back the council 100% here. Where would it end if you could have any shape you liked. Silly women should of shown more thought respect to the other grieving people.
In what respect is she failing to show respect for other grieving people?
When I visit graves of loved ones I barely take notice of the surroundings as the cemetery is well looked after.
I saw the photo and it looked okay and would suggest the people showing a lack of respect are those complaining.
Clearly there need to be some guidelines. The fault is either with the guidelines, or more likely the systems or people who enforce it. It may be that the people providing the stone are to blame.
Whatever, and under the circumstances, the gravestone should have been allowed to remain.
Whatever, and under the circumstances, the gravestone should have been allowed to remain.
I agree with the council as well
Could have whatever they wanted in the children's section
This gravestone is classy but many look like the family have robbed a pound shop and dumped it on the grave.
Could have whatever they wanted in the children's section
This gravestone is classy but many look like the family have robbed a pound shop and dumped it on the grave.
"God is not Great - How Religion Poisons Everything" by Christopher Hitchens gives a great insight in to the negative aspects of religion and why incidents like this happen
no, it's almost completely irrelevant, but the fact that you are attempting to shoe horn this into what is clearly a council regulation suggests you are either detached from reality or pushing a fairly crude and simplistic agenda.
i am surprised you didn't go after the mother for giving a birthday present to a dead child, so well done for that.
no, it's almost completely irrelevant, but the fact that you are attempting to shoe horn this into what is clearly a council regulation suggests you are either detached from reality or pushing a fairly crude and simplistic agenda.
i am surprised you didn't go after the mother for giving a birthday present to a dead child, so well done for that.
I think the shoe horn is needed for your second sentence.
The other people had a right to complain and the council had a duty to see to it that the rules were kept.
That's if the council rules were in writing and freely available.
For what if the people who had complained, had not had their first choice of headstone but had adhered to the rules themselves?
Strictly speaking the fault here lies with the stonemason who should have been aware of the council regulations.
That's if the council rules were in writing and freely available.
For what if the people who had complained, had not had their first choice of headstone but had adhered to the rules themselves?
Strictly speaking the fault here lies with the stonemason who should have been aware of the council regulations.
single mothers cause a lot of problems, the working classes ruin everything given the chance, this is why we have rules.
Yes Dr Crippen, see my earlier comment.
The blame rests fairly, and squarely, with the monumental mason.
I just hope that, aside from the upset of the mother, she doesn't have to suffer a financial loss as well!
The blame rests fairly, and squarely, with the monumental mason.
I just hope that, aside from the upset of the mother, she doesn't have to suffer a financial loss as well!
I don't go to cemeteries.
But if I did, I'd be there to lay flowers or whatever at the grave of a loved one.
I wouldn't give a feck what the grave next to it looked like, let alone walk around looking for things to complain about.
I wonder what these people would have made of St Mary Magdalene's churchyard in the good old borough of Newham.
Nobody was buried there for years so it got no visitors, just the odd wedding at the church.
It became vastly overgrown, so they renamed it a 'nature reserve'...and left it.
But if I did, I'd be there to lay flowers or whatever at the grave of a loved one.
I wouldn't give a feck what the grave next to it looked like, let alone walk around looking for things to complain about.
I wonder what these people would have made of St Mary Magdalene's churchyard in the good old borough of Newham.
Nobody was buried there for years so it got no visitors, just the odd wedding at the church.
It became vastly overgrown, so they renamed it a 'nature reserve'...and left it.
People who are aesthetically indifferent should not be encouraged.
Aunty Post
10 Jun 15 11:18
Yes Dr Crippen, see my earlier comment.
The blame rests fairly, and squarely, with the monumental mason.
Why does it?
He probably assumed it was going in the children's section of the graveyard, where, under their stupid rules, it would be allowed.
What would happen if a parent complained about it?
Take it out and stick it on a roundabout down the road?
10 Jun 15 11:18
Yes Dr Crippen, see my earlier comment.
The blame rests fairly, and squarely, with the monumental mason.
Why does it?
He probably assumed it was going in the children's section of the graveyard, where, under their stupid rules, it would be allowed.
What would happen if a parent complained about it?
Take it out and stick it on a roundabout down the road?
She now has a 15,000 signature petition to let it stay.
Good luck to her.
Good luck to her.
Hmmm. Is that 15,000 UNIQUE signatures or 15,000 times that somebody has signed it. You can't trust petitions. Some people sign multiple times.
Hopefully, her petition ha been conducted honestly and fairly, but past experience says that might not be the case.
Hopefully, her petition ha been conducted honestly and fairly, but past experience says that might not be the case.
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