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Ken Masters
09 Jan 15 14:37
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Date Joined: 01 Apr 04
| Topic/replies: 13,417 | Blogger: Ken Masters's blog
I have noticed, in my new place of work, an alarming trend amongst many of my Indian colleagues of holding long telephone conversations with business partners and even loved ones whilst engaged in the act of dumping. Just a few minutes ago as I was trying to enjoy a quiet game of Dots on my phone, one young man in the next cubicle chattering away to his wife (probably) and pausing every now and then to have a strain. She must have known, mine would hang up and give me a barracking at home for such a disrespectful act.

Another time someone (nationality unknown) went through a large bag of crisps whilst performing the same activity.

I don't think you can actually claim to be British if you don't make some kind of comment after a loud fart either. As part of the citizenship test the immigration officer should volubly drop one and await a "more tea vicar", "if you give it more choke it'll start" or similar. Failure to come up with something gets you back on the plane.

PS, sh*t thread.
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Report Ken Masters • January 9, 2015 2:53 PM GMT
A good day to bury bad threads.

PS, puerile.
Report Velasquez • January 9, 2015 2:54 PM GMT
"Have you been eating roadkill?"

"Silent but violent!"

"The one who asked did it!"

"Naebody light a match!" etc...
Report SlippyBlue • January 9, 2015 3:04 PM GMT
I'd give it ten minutes if I were you.
Report Just Checking • January 9, 2015 6:03 PM GMT
"Observations on the doings of others."
Not heard ratemypoo.com talked about for a while Blush
Report Barry Conway • January 9, 2015 7:16 PM GMT
You could cut a slice off that and put it in a sandwich.
Report bigH • January 9, 2015 8:56 PM GMT
where is erse when you need him?
Report rob_dylan • January 9, 2015 9:32 PM GMT
Somebody call the coastguard.
Report Clouseau • January 9, 2015 9:42 PM GMT
"Allahu Akhbar" is the shout of choice imo.
Report Vubiant • January 9, 2015 10:00 PM GMT
Wow -eating while excreating...Shocked...
or biting while ****.Laugh
Report doantwin2easy • January 9, 2015 10:13 PM GMT
i was so appalled at the noises a young couple were making in a cubicle the other day that I almost pulled myself away from the peep hole.
Report Capt__F • January 9, 2015 11:08 PM GMT
Size of an Elephant

happy Days banna splits
Report screaming from beneaththewaves • January 10, 2015 4:00 PM GMT
"Oo dearie me, Mrs Panesar. I think I am burdened with a type 1.5 in my opinion."

Report doantwin2easy • January 10, 2015 4:10 PM GMT
are they much different to those in western-super-mare?
Report screaming from beneaththewaves • January 10, 2015 7:14 PM GMT
Weston is the birthplace of Baron Archer of Weston-Super-Mare and thus indeed has its own separate scale of sh1t.
Report Aunty Post • January 10, 2015 8:15 PM GMT
Another time someone (nationality unknown) went through a large bag of crisps whilst performing the same activity.

Just have to ask why it wasn't known, as to the nationality of the of the second one mentioned, but that you somehow knew that he had a large
packet of crisps!

You must have been well busy, to sit through the entire masticating of said crisps (what flavour were they)?
Report Just Checking • January 10, 2015 9:00 PM GMT
I was once in a pub and two ghey guys were at in a cubicle next to me.

Was a perfectly normal pub, was very unexpected. I was so uncomfortable, it made it go back in, which was probably not too disimilar a feeling to what one of the guys next door was feeling.
Report Just Checking • January 10, 2015 9:08 PM GMT
(That story is actually true, maybe not the going in bit but it happened!)
Report Capt__F • January 12, 2015 11:31 PM GMT
hope it wernt the horsebox
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