If A Genie .....

I have a good joke on the subject but I would probably get barred if I posted it

And for my third wish the KKK turned up at my door and said "So you wanna be hung like a ................."   ^^^^^

1st wish = I wish I had infinity wishes.

2nd wish =  I wish that none of my future wishes, including this one, will be misunderstood or misconstrued in any way, to give consequences that were not what I intended. Nor that if I use the phrase “I wish” as a figure of speech in every day conversation, will that wish be granted.

To have my Dad back.
Unlimited wealth so I can find the next Frankel.
Emma Watson to fall hopelessly in love with me. (Sorry Letitia, you had your chance but times change old girl.)

In fact, every time you think I have made a wish, I would like a written contract to appear, detailing the exact consequences of my wish, from now until the end of time, so I can check that there are no tricks and traps in it.
Only when I am happy with it and have signed the contract will the wish come true.

themightymac    06 Oct 14 18:32 
I have a good joke on the subject but I would probably get barred if I posted it 

Black bloke - tampon?

I agree with Slippy.
I'd have my dad back (died when I was 26)
And my gran (his mum, died when I was 12)
I don't care about money, and I'm happy enough, so for the final wish I'd get Diane Abbott to sit on Tony Blair's face until he died.

I know the one TMM.

1. time travel powers
2. immortality

I'd be quite satisfied with that.

Kenbo knows.

PC world we live in now you can`t even tell a joke using the "n" word

1) Health for my boy
2) Have my dad back
3) Travel back in time to meet as many of my ancestors as possible

as many ancestors as possible huh? I don't think you've quite grasped the concept of the free wish

To have the wife back as she was when we met.
Eternal peace on earth.
To know what really happened to that Jesus chappie.

haha numberone fair point