Things you were told at school that were wrong.

I remember in an economics class back in the early 80s when I was about 16, we got on to the subject of roads and road building.

I said, "the M1 was the first motorway".

Everyone, including the teacher laughed at me as if to say, "well done, nick. You're a genius - thanks for stating the bleedin' obvious".

However, the motorways were named in accordance with their proximity to the major A road, not in order of construction.

In any case, the M1 might have been the first long-distance motorway connecting cities but the first stretch of motorway to be built was the Preston by-pass - M50 something or other

bananas grow on trees

The M1 - a reminder of being young and guessing.
I recall the class being asked where it went to from London. 
I thought he meant the new road improvements cutting through the east end.
The extra lanes were being made on the A13, but I didn't know it was called the A13, so assumed it was the new motorway my dad had spoken about.   
So I stuck my hand up and blurted out 'Southend' not that any classmates knew that it was  wrong, they all lived in the northern half of the borough, and nowhere near it.

Had a geography teacher who spent 6 months talking about "longtitude" until I had the impertinence to point out that it was "longitude." He had to consult a dictionary before he would believe me. Stangely enough, he gave me my worst evaluation in that year's end of term report.

I was told if I didn't go into banking my education would have been a waste

HOMOS...............

We were told in Religious Education that Christianity was all about forgiveness, and that we should not judge but that we should always forgive.

The same teacher who was the RE teacher and also the Deputy Head was also in charge of corporal punishment. I will never forgive him.

Call me a taxi. How can you say that your teacher was wrong? In 1959-63 Mercury did not rotate. In 1995 it did. How do you know that it hadn't just started?

1965 ffs!

Respect your Elders, this was just an excuse to let Adults do/say what they liked

Physics master, a devout Catholic, told us that water has it's maximum density at 4 degrees C which allows pond life to survive winter in the mud at the bottom because the pond will freeze from the top downwards insulating the water underneath. All very true.
He then tried to tell us this shows there must be "something" out there.
Wrong! If ice were more dense than liquid water, pond life would have evolved differently in cold climates.

Headmaster said, "if you keep doing that you'll go blind"

At junior school we used to listen to a singalong type programme from BBC Education, or whatever it was called in the 1960s.

One of the songs one term was the RL Stevenson version of "The Skye Boat Song," which included the lines

"Mull was astern, Rum on the port,
Eigg on the starboard bow."

Our teacher told us

"That's the drinks, you see"

chemistry - told us about outer electrons, described it as a mini solar system. nowadays thats balls. Chaos theory has taken over. Electrons are coming and going and cannot be pinned down.  but they probably still teach the old science as it makes some sense.

Did my teacher get it rightor wrong, he said the last one out the shower and to get changed after football, would get the hockey stick on the backside, i can still remember the pain to this day...

My English teacher marked my spelling of 'bellwether' as being incorrect.  He thought it should be 'bellweather'.  My protestations resulted in a detention.

In junior school, we were singing Pack Up Your Troubles in Your Old Kit-Bag, and Smile, Smile, Smile...

Our teacher told us that 'lucifer' was an old fashioned word for a girlfriend.

My mate said he thought it meant a match but she just said 'It can mean that but it's really what I said'.

"Mr Smith, form teacher from 1959-63, told us that the planet Mercury never rotated. One side was frozen, the other was facing the Sun."
Actually that would mean it WOULD rotate, but only once per orbit. Exactly like the moon, which always shows us the same face.
That's why we can't see the aliens preparing to invade on the dark side.

"chemistry - told us about outer electrons, described it as a mini solar system. nowadays thats balls."
Well not quite, they are all models that one is just a simple one that might be useful to explain a lot of things.
From a chemistry viewpoint they may not even care about fuzzy electrons.

Wasn't the "i before e" rule proved to be more wrong than right on QI or something?

Yes, I saw that episode, JC.  Lee Mack couldn't seem to get his head around the idea.

That's why we can't see the aliens preparing to invade on the dark side.

but to be really picky, you really mean the far side, not the dark side

"but to be really picky, you really mean the far side, not the dark side "
I learned my science from Pink Floyd lyrics.

Which was embarrassing when I went for the job as lead aeronautical engineer and started talking excitedly about "pigs on the wing".

There is a Goldfish living in the toilet

In junior school, when President Nixon made his visit to China he went via Alaska iirc.

Our teacher, who was, shall we say, a senior lady, proceeded to trace out his route of the world map on the wall. With her baton she pointed the route from Washington to Alaska, then showed how he flew from Alaska, all the way across the Atlantic, Europe and the USSR to Peking. I think I was one of the few to question the practicalities of this leg!

If you breathe in fluff it comes out of your belly button

btw that wasn't from a teacher, that was from a know-all

the stuff in biology about the different taste sections of the tongue ,turned out it was well known to be false info  even when they were teaching it but had decided to ignore the facts and bash on .

and the history teacher tried to tell me Hitler was not a Catholic ,but that one was nailed pretty quickly

^ same could be said of Jesus

What.. that jesus was Catholic, or nailed on pretty quickly?




(Prepares apology for post death pearly gates interview)

I have a vague memory of teacher spelling "jesus" with a lower case "j" in lower school.  I mentioned it and she said it was because she was referring to him before he came our saviour and before he became christ.  His name was only spelled with an upper case "j" after good friday or something.  B.ollox, she made a mistake and couldnt admit it.

I was told it was wrong to get a girl's t1ts out in the needlework room, to this day I still don't agree

the janitors in my school were the same

As boys (in the 70's), we were told that wearing very tight Y fronts (all the fashion) caused sterility as sperm needed air and circulation, and freedom to move around.

11 kids later, I now know this to be untrue.

I was told, at about age 10 (in front of the whole class), that there was something wrong with me for not knowing what a linesman was, and so, as punishment, I was made to be one!

That might explain why to this day I dislike Football!

I was also told that it was very important to learn a second language. I was taught french.


As a brummie, urdu would have been a lot more useful IMO.

I was laughed at in Geography when i said you could see France from England

Wouldn't mind ,but i was laughed at most times

One teacher told me that Brian Lara was "a flash in the pan" just after he hit 501 in a county match!

Not told, as such, but 'red lined' in one of my English books when I had to do a piece about Falstaff and had wanted to use the word 'blaggard' about him - but it wasn't in the crummy dictionary I had at the time so found the nearest 'proper use' of the term and it was blackguard.

Beaky Johnson (my English teacher) had written 'braggart?' next to the blackguard, in red ink - as though I was totally wrong with the word and the meaning of it, when I wasn't at all.

It still rankles to this day.

I presume you kept quiet, Tommy? Discretion being the better part of valour!

Tommy - i hope your betting is going well this World cup mate

Haha! I did indeed keep quiet, Coach.

Beaky Johnson was an 'old school educated at one of the very top universities master' - and I'd always taken everything he said, particularly grammatical corrections, on trust.

However, it was because I'd purposely double-checked the word 'blaggard' - which my dictionary didn't list - and so used blackguard instead.

I was hoping for an unknown of but perhaps an un-shown 'pat on the back' by Beaky for going to such lengths over a word - and then he went and 'red penned' it!

Only backed Columbia and Chile on the outright markets so far, Coach.

Hope you are having a 'good one'.

Coachbuster 14 Jun 14 15:31 
I was laughed at in Geography when i said you could see France from England
----
I think there's a fairly famous photo of Hitler with Binoculars looking at England from France.

The binoculars were those coin operated types, and he ran out of French currency. Was so annoyed, he attacked Russia instead, one of history's turning points. At least .. that's what I was taught in school

at about age 9 my teacher insisted canada was the largest country in the world when you included all the northern islands, whatever that meant. i insisted it was russia. after getting a telling off i just let her think she's right... but she's wrong

Tommy - i think you need to reply to Cobblaz


nothing of note so far in the betting Tommy -  keep the faith


Just Checking - yes, i think that's so  according to what i've just searched - but i think the 'without binoculars' market was trading that day  for me

and i know you can see France most of the time from Dover unless of course it's foggy/cloudy/rain etc

Learning to speak French is easily the most academically pointless thing I've ever done.

But it brings so much more depth and understanding of the deep underlying themes of Allo Allo?

Well yes, that's a given of course Just Checking but that aside it was a complete waste of time.

leeson vairy caerphilly, 'e will say zis only wurnce.

Ah yes.
Cheers Coach!

*Reply was to Cobblaz about Beaky Johnson.

Not told, as such, but 'red lined' in one of my English books when I had to do a piece about Falstaff and had wanted to use the word 'blaggard' about him - but it wasn't in the crummy dictionary I had at the time so found the nearest 'proper use' of the term and it was blackguard.

Beaky Johnson (my English teacher) had written 'braggart?' next to the blackguard, in red ink - as though I was totally wrong with the word and the meaning of it, when I wasn't at all.

It still rankles to this day.


I did HenryVI Part 2 as part of my GCE syllabus, Tommy. I got to know the play inside out. Falstaff was a great character.

should have put


Not told, as such, but 'red lined' in one of my English books when I had to do a piece about Falstaff and had wanted to use the word 'blaggard' about him - but it wasn't in the crummy dictionary I had at the time so found the nearest 'proper use' of the term and it was blackguard.

Beaky Johnson (my English teacher) had written 'braggart?' next to the blackguard, in red ink - as though I was totally wrong with the word and the meaning of it, when I wasn't at all.

It still rankles to this day.


I did HenryVI Part 2 as part of my GCE syllabus, Tommy. I got to know the play inside out. Falstaff was a great character.

He was indeed, kenny.

He (Falstaff) made such an impression on me and my best mate that my best mate once sent me bronze figure of 'Jolly Jack' as a birthday gift.
It's still on display in the house to this day.

- and I've just come in on what Cobblaz was referring to now that I'm thinking of Falstaff!

I found Shakespeare very hard work to start with, but found a copy of the book I was studying with up to date explanations in the margin. Made it much easier and very enjoyable.

I remember thinking at the time. I can't believe I'm enjoying Shakespeare but enjoy it I certainly did.