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Mr Eboue
25 Jun 13 20:54
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Date Joined: 15 Sep 09
| Topic/replies: 26,470 | Blogger: Mr Eboue's blog
Absolutely heart broken.
I never could be bothered with the relationship thing until I met this beautiful girl. We went for a drink and were in love straight away. A more beautiful girl you could not imagine. Think Keira knightly on a good day and you'd be somewhere close.

She came from a pretty poor family but has grafted her arse off to get a really good job. She's mature beyond her years and in the 3 and a bit years we were together I dont think she ever moaned about anything. It was only a few months ago we were talking about engagement. My parents and the rest of my family loved her. I thought everything was perfect.

She told me 2 weeks ago that it was all over. At first I started to laugh cause I thought she was joking! The last fortnight has been Hell. I've always been a firm upper lip kinda guy but I've been a total mess. If it wasn't for the help of my sister and best mate God knows what I would have done....

We were due to go on holiday this Friday. That's been cancelled. Have to move out of the house. All this ****.

She says we've grown apart. She is a few years younger than me and says she wants time to be on her own again.

I honestly thought I would marry this girl and have children with her.

Please no one make a joke about her getting off with the milkman or something. I think I'd probably do myself in.

Cry

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Replies: 312
By:
p_r_e_m_i_e_r__f_a_n_t_a_s_y
When: 25 Jun 13 20:59
Sad
By:
pumphol.
When: 25 Jun 13 21:02
At least you seem to have good people to help you through it, all the best.
By:
judorick
When: 25 Jun 13 21:02
it's a horrible thing to happen

really sympathise with you coz I know it hurts

my advice, shun her completely from your life, do not find anything out about her = quickest way to get over it

all the best, stick around the family
By:
DONEMYLOT
When: 25 Jun 13 21:04
Sorry to hear. Might sound a silly question but how old was she?
By:
Burton-Brewers
When: 25 Jun 13 21:06
in the 3 and a bit years we were together I dont think she ever moaned

you need to improve on your technique
By:
RoyClaytonsTash
When: 25 Jun 13 21:08
Hope you have plenty of tissues.
By:
Crisp77
When: 25 Jun 13 21:09
Sorry to hear this Mr E. Hope you are OK. Cool
By:
Angel Gabrial
When: 25 Jun 13 21:10
Judorick offers good advice. Do not try to be friends with her now or you will struggle to let go.

This may seem harsh but meaningless sex always helped me, go out on the pull with your mates and basically shag her out of your mind or else you will just keep waanking over your ex, which just delays your progress.
By:
sideshowbob
When: 25 Jun 13 21:14
women are just like that, one minute they "love" you the next minute they never want to see you again. for no reason whatsoever. theyre all mental. anybody who meets one who "is different" founds out they arent, sooner or later. just a matter of time. they arent worth ****, you need to live for yourself.
By:
11kv
When: 25 Jun 13 21:14
Shame that Mr E,all your thoughts and dreams gone ,keep the body and brain active, sounds like you have a good mate and family to turn too,keep positve and start over...........


Have been there in my early 20's she told me and within 2 days she was gone from the house her Dad hired a van and so I came home after work no frigging bed to kip in or oven to cook with ffs.


Anyway all the best fella..............
By:
annie.
When: 25 Jun 13 21:15
Mr Eboue, your post is one of the saddest ones I have seen in my many years on here. 

What you have to remember, although it won't help at the moment, is that if this beautiful kind woman loved you then another one like her will do as well. It is also a cliché that time heals, but it does. 

She will probably want to remain friends with you and do not dismiss the idea.  I went back to a previous boyfriend about ten years after we split up.  It would also be a good idea to start dating again and show her that you are not sitting about moping about her.  Do not beg her to come back in any shape or form.  Women want men to be men, not wimps.  Be pleasant etc, but do not run after her.  I went back several times to my last steady boyfriend, mainly because he never begged me to go back.

Have a go at internet dating, it is all the rage now.  Men seem now to have the upper hand where dating is concerned at the moment.

If you need any 'womanly' advice, please do not hesitate to contact me or post here.

Good luck
By:
sideshowbob
When: 25 Jun 13 21:16
well actually i say never want to see you again, usually they want to stay in your life cos it gives them a power kick.

have nothing to do with her ever again, you need to totally extinguish her from your life like she never existed. in 2 or 3 weeks youll be fine. in 6 months youll barely remember her name. you gotta be strong big guy.
By:
p_r_e_m_i_e_r__f_a_n_t_a_s_y
When: 25 Jun 13 21:18
She will probably want to remain friends with you and do not dismiss the idea.  I went back to a previous boyfriend about ten years after we split up.  It would also be a good idea to start dating again and show her that you are not sitting about moping about her.  Do not beg her to come back in any shape or form.  Women want men to be men, not wimps.  Be pleasant etc, but do not run after her.  I went back several times to my last steady boyfriend, mainly because he never begged me to go back.

that a wind up?? and he took ya back every time, yep he is a real man - sounds like a fkin fool to me Plain
By:
Angel Gabrial
When: 25 Jun 13 21:23
Also if she see`s you in pain it will give her a rush of self esteem and she could possibly twist the knife even further.

Dry your eyes mate and all that.
By:
Mr Eboue
When: 25 Jun 13 21:25
God thanks so much guys. Really appreciate your thoughts.

I was so proud of her getting her current job. She worked her arse off and when she told me she'd got it I got a lump in my throat. ( This coming from a man who only cries at funerals ). The silly thing is i'd take her back in an instant if the opportunity arose.

I'm 27 and she's 23. I'd messed around with girls obviously before her but nothing serious. I just couldn't be bothered with the whole relationship jazz. Give me a Saturday card at Cheltenham over a girl anyday. Then this absolute Godess walked into my life and everything changed.

She has 2 best mates. One is just like her - sensible and mature. The other is the complete opposite and i still struggle to see why they are friends. She didnt talk to her best mate for about 18 months when we got together. The last 3 months they've been together loads. I do think she's been talked into it by this mate of hers. ( who funnily enough was dumped 6 months ago).


I didnt sleep for 2 days when this happened. The thought of not being with her ever again hurts more than a Tyson uppercut.
By:
sideshowbob
When: 25 Jun 13 21:25
and im not talking from personal experience, ive never let a woman get to me in my entire life. ive seen what they do to other guys and decided from a very young age i wouldnt take any of them seriously. no matter how great they seem. i just go along with matter happens and dont plan. ive never lived with a woman and never would, i like my own space and independence too much, and id never get engaged or married. sounds clinical but its not, obviously i get attached but i think of them like a pet. theyre not gonna be around forever, cos lets be sensible here virtually no relationships last forever these days. and the ones that do, usually its just cos one or both of you are just too stubborn to get out of it.
By:
u want some
When: 25 Jun 13 21:26
How old are you both?

If she's said this out of the blue i would think, unfortunately mate she probably is seeing somebody else. Everybody gets their head turned every now and again. In a few weeks she may be fine, just a few weeks apart
By:
annie.
When: 25 Jun 13 21:27
Please Mr Eboue do not listen to those who tell you not to have anything to do with her, you were with her for nearly four years - it was not a one night stand.  She would not be impressed if you were nasty to her. Be pleasant but don't be a doormat.  Start dating and show her what she is missing.
By:
Makybe_Diva
When: 25 Jun 13 21:29
Really sorry to hear this Mr Eboue.

Try and keep yourself busy. Go and workout at the gym.

See your friends as much as you can.

Take Rick's advice and don't torture yourself over her.

One day life will be good again. Of that I am certain.
By:
Mr Eboue
When: 25 Jun 13 21:29
I did panic and think that mate. My first thought was she was seeing someone else.

She's assured me she hasn't and I know I could be wrong but she is an awful liar and I just know she hasnt.

She was round before and I couldnt stop shaking. I was in a right state. I actually went to say ' I love you' when she walked out but I had to stop myself.
By:
u want some
When: 25 Jun 13 21:30
He doesn't want to date, thats the last thing he needs right now. Women always think they know best in these situations. Have a few weeks apart and then see what she wants to do. Unfortunately if she doesn't want you back after a few weeks then you have to move on but dating someone now is not the answer. What if she finds out you've been on some date and she just needed to clear her head?
By:
p_r_e_m_i_e_r__f_a_n_t_a_s_y
When: 25 Jun 13 21:30
You'll get over it in time Mr.E
By:
judorick
When: 25 Jun 13 21:31
dont listen to a bird on this for a start

cut her out 100% asap and move on, sooner you accept it is over the better for you man

do what is needed, be strong, things will be fine

all the best for the future
By:
Mr Eboue
When: 25 Jun 13 21:31
No way will I be seeing any girl anytime soon. I couldnt do it.

Thanks so much for the replies guys you really are a great bunch.
By:
Ibrahima Sonko
When: 25 Jun 13 21:31
Time is the only healer Mr E, whether in time you get back together or you meet someone else.

All the best mate.
By:
HRH The Lager Khan
When: 25 Jun 13 21:32
So how much do you want for these holiday tickets?
By:
11kv
When: 25 Jun 13 21:32
Dont go investigating her m8 best not too know at the moment will only make things worse give it time,get out have a few beers with some mates
By:
Mr Eboue
When: 25 Jun 13 21:33
I should have mentioned! If anyone wants 2 flights to Malta on Friday morning from bristol ( i paid 320 ). I'd take any serious offer!
By:
Angel Gabrial
When: 25 Jun 13 21:34
Go to Malta Eboue

Take a mate, seriously.
By:
Mr Eboue
When: 25 Jun 13 21:35
My old man rang me earlier to say he's booked some time off work so we can have a few games of golf next week.

God knows how I'll play but it could be a good laugh.
By:
judorick
When: 25 Jun 13 21:37
yes go to Malta, great idea! seriously get away from it
By:
Makybe_Diva
When: 25 Jun 13 21:37
"My old man rang me earlier to say he's booked some time off work so we can have a few games of golf next week.

God knows how I'll play but it could be a good laugh."


That's the idea Happy
By:
Makybe_Diva
When: 25 Jun 13 21:40
Can't your sister go on holiday with you?
By:
pumphol.
When: 25 Jun 13 21:42
Seems like her " best mate " has  been giving her " the grass is greener " version of life probably more out of jealousy than anything else, if that is the case keep your distance for the next few weeks you may find she will start to get back in touch, if this does not happen then she probably never had the same  feelings as you  & though its sounds ridiculous now if that is the case she has probably done you a favour in the long run.
By:
sideshowbob
When: 25 Jun 13 21:43
annie is the typical woman.

loves stringing along old boyfriends as an option. women love options. they love being inside mens brains. they hate knowing you actually couldnt give a **** about them anymore.

whenever i get involved i always say something along the lines of look im not being funny here but you need to know when its over, its over. dont give me all this "we can friends" ****, cos i dont want to be friends. if i want a friend i'll get a hamster. when its over, i wont talk to you again and i wont see you again. i dont like all this ****footing around. im not a charity, if you want out just say i want out and piss off. and ive never had a woman argue that my attitude is wrong there. i guess it depends on what your personality is and who you go for. anybody that goes for me know they arent gonna get a fluffy hugh grant lapdog and know i dont want one back either.
By:
u want some
When: 25 Jun 13 21:44
Laugh

quality
By:
judorick
When: 25 Jun 13 21:46
sideshow is spot on

cut her out and tell her so too 'stay away, tar'
By:
annie.
When: 25 Jun 13 21:49
The answer could be in the best mate.  If she is now single she could have been urging your girlfriend to ditch you so she could go out clubbing etc with her.  Your girlfriend was only young when she got together with you, and still is, so maybe she thinks she is too young to settle down before she has had some 'fun'. But when she has had her fun and then wants a family she will hopefully think of you, that is why it is essential to be as nice and normal to her as you have always been. But do not be a doormat.  So many men are and then they wonder why women leave.  Again we want men to be men, not mice.
By:
Mr Eboue
When: 25 Jun 13 21:52
Not at such short notice sadly. She teaches.

One of my other sisters is coming down from Edinburgh next week to visit our parents so I think I'd rather be with them than on some island that me and my ex ( Christ it's weird typing that ) would have been on.

I always used to laugh at people who would get upset about these kind of things!
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