What is the most disgusting thing you have done in a public toilet ?

Read the Daily Telegraph

shot my load up the wall once

dumped on the floor and took the light bulb out.

BHS 1983 wiped my buum on a copy of the Sun coz there was no toilet paper.
Mind you, I'm from Liverpool so it's kind of a badge of honour now

Not out of the ordinary; just an enormous and utterly revolting stinking sh1te.  Having said that, i realised afterwards that I had rushed into the girls bogs by mistake, in a decent hotel, and the place was now full of ladies.  The most embarrassing exit of my life.

Carol from Essex

Nothing more sinnister than good old Derrick Bird.
Once curled a delightful 8 incher,a nice cylindrical effort with traditional autumnal brown hue.
A proud moment indeed

Carol from Essex too

In Harrods very recently - for the sole purpose of taking a dump. A tip - the toilets are hidden on about the 3rd floor to put off casual visitors like myself.
Left an almighty unflushable that I'd attempted to get rid of about three times before giving up.
The attendant didnt see me come out of the cubicle, but when he came out of his store cupboard there was one empty trap and just me in there at the basins. He popped in to check the trap, put on gloves to break it down a bit, took them off and returned to the sinks just in time to hand me some paper towels to dry my hands
What a gent considering I'd just left a monster sized Brad for him to deal with

HRH The Lager Khan 
Carol from Essex

David Fishwick Minibus Sales 
Carol from Essex too

And me

Harry R Scrack
27 Sep 11 23:51
Joined:
15 Sep 06
| Topic/replies: 114 | Blogger: Harry R Scrack's blog
In Harrods very recently - for the sole purpose of taking a dump. A tip - the toilets are hidden on about the 3rd floor to put off casual visitors like myself.
Left an almighty unflushable that I'd attempted to get rid of about three times before giving up.
The attendant didnt see me come out of the cubicle, but when he came out of his store cupboard there was one empty trap and just me in there at the basins. He popped in to check the trap, put on gloves to break it down a bit, took them off and returned to the sinks just in time to hand me some paper towels to dry my hands
What a gent considering I'd just left a monster sized Brad for him to deal with


That sounds like you left quiet a monument in there

I farted and unfortunately followed through in a swanky bar in Covent Garden and squealched my way to the toilet to clean up and subsequently went commando and left my strides hanging off the back of the toilet door as a memento. About half an hour later one of my mates went to use the loo and the first words out of his mouth on his return were, "you'll never guess what some dirty cnunt has left in the bogs."

My sister Carol from Essex

Fantastic you have made my day just before i go to work.
i will dream up another ridiculus  question for tonight,as i am sure there are many stories to be told

Many years ago the c0rals i used had an outside loo, kept locked, you had to ask for the key .
The girl said oh its open weve just had it decorated . Going towards the door there was the smell of fresh paint
and something else, as i peered inside in big letters on the wall was LFC which looked and smelt like written in sh1te .
I told the staff who seemed very upset as if they had painted the loo themselves .

Scousers...!!........uhhhhh !....

HRH The Lager Khan
Carol from Essex

David Fishwick Minibus Sales
Carol from Essex too

JackCole
And me

she told me I was her 1st.

i logged on to chit chat literally

Floated an award winning Brown Trout

Contemplated voting Conservative


....and Carol from Essex (head down the loo, no lube, up her Council)

rogerthebutler     28 Sep 11 13:05 
Floated an award winning Brown Trout

*Contemplated voting Conservative*


....and Carol from Essex (head down the loo, no lube, up her Council)

Pervert

caught short

I stole 4 loo rolls because I couldn't afford any tracing paper.

Wrong Forum you perv.

Wrong Forum you perv.

somebody who called himself Carol from Essex

Took pictures of Carol from Essex with GreySquirrel...

When I was about 17 I took this charming young lady into one of the new super toilets that wash themselves as you leave...started stripping her etc...got down to the mot keeling in front of her...only the rats tail of a tampon hanging out!!!...ffs I said--you mighta told me..shouldn't be too heavy she raplies---I'm just coming off---..--..--noshed it till the doors automatically opened....that's the most disgusting thing I've ever done in a public toilet.

I was staying in a hotel in Tasmania once and had to use a shared toilet in the hallway as there was none in the bedroom. I sat down and deposited a gooey, sticky log into the pan and was then horrified to find that there was no bog roll in the cubicle ....
It really was a very, very sticky one and I had to try and get this mess off my backside, so I opened the door and the only thing I could see was a hand-towel hanging beside the basin. I rushed out and grabbed the hand-towel, took it back into the cubicle and had a good old wipe ....
Now I'm left with a smelly brown hand-towel and wondering what to do with it. I can't take it back to the room as my missus is in there and I can't really put it in the bin .....
So, I pulled the top off the cistern, popped the awful hand-towel into the water and replaced the lid ...

Some poor chap would have found the horrible mess one day ..... I've felt slightly guilty ever since

Had a pee and didn't wash my hands once as I was in a rush for the bus.

any chance of someone posting Carols number please (it's for a friend)

went out in Lowestoft, suffolk one night went into a bar on the highstreet where all the local chavs go friday and saturday nights, they take it turns do the djing, as no entertainer, always hit and miss if its open apparently the landlord cant always afford to the full up the cellar.

Seemed lively from the outside, a few young birds in short skirts hanging around outside so me and mate go in a for a pint, after a couple of pints needed a jimmy so headed to the bogs, worst ever seen, all wash basins either logs or sick in then also used condoms, logs in the urinals, logs all over floor, condom machine smashed up, **** smeared all over the mirrors and all over cubicle doors, also on hand drier, not forgetting the inch of urine what was like a lake on the floor, quickly left trying not to touch anything, and pi55ed up the alley way next to pub!!

stench still lives with me 5 years on !!!

On a 1st proper date with a girl I met in a club the week previous we went out for dinner in a busy pub/restaurant. I went to the bog, unaware she followed me. As I got to the gents door she grabbed hold of me and pushed me into the ladies opposite. Then into a cubicle she had me keks off noshing away quicker than I could say flippety giblets. Then her pants off sat on my lap and was banging away like a prawn trawler door.

I could hear giggles as obviously other girls who had come to wet their lettuce could hear her. After the quickie and dinner we went back to hers and I saw a picture of a huge fella. She then admitted she lived with a bloke who was away. (army or prison I don't know!). I said my goodbyes and left.

About 18 months later I met her by chance on a late train. We started chatting and next thing you know she wanted servicing on her car bonnet (it was late & car park was empty). Filled with beer and no chance of a brick sh1thouse walking in I filled her up. Must have been 12 years ago now. Nowadays I would be worried about missing the last train home

What a game girl.

Speaking of filthy bogs I once got caught short in a grotty Blacpool games arcade - I ventured into the solitary cubicle and the pan was overflowing with sh1t. At the head of this mass was the biggest turd I have ever seen, it looked like a baby annaconda and was that large it had its own solar system. I shot out the door and promptly spent the next minute gagging. That harrowing sight has never left me.

In fact over the years I have thought about that curly wurly more than my rumpy pumpy in terms of bog experiences!!

thanks for that

First time i walked into the Tap and Barrel pub in Sheffield, a hefty young lady offered me a $hag for a pint, i said no thanks. **** for a half ? Looked around, place was dead, why not, 5 minutes job done, she trusted me to buy her a drink after as well.

Roebuck in Bermondsey.

Morbidly obese, but enthusiastic, girl.

The only witness is now dead.

Well, when I say dead, obviously I mean 'has moved back to Lincolnshire'.

ejaculated all ova my ex gf tits and face

ejaculated all ova my ex gf tits and face

come again

Far too many booze fuelled filthy p1ss splashed sh'gs to recall in bogs around the north west,the best probs in a gay bar in town,2 birds (one i was with on the night) and another bird sucking my length in some nasty cubicle at the end of the night,some old cleaner trying to get in the door(against my foot) as i'm shooting gentlemans relish onto 2 willing gobs..happy days.

As for sh1t,few yrs back i was flying home from Egypt with a dicky belly9along with most of the plane) anyway i gets my turn and pebble-dashes the bog only to find no paper or anything,yet i'm soaked in sh1t,first i used my undies,hopeless really due to the sh1t then i takes off  a t-shirt i had under my shirt and this just about absorbed the lot,i rams the t-shirt down the bog and left the undies folded at the side and flushes and gets out pronto past the large queue outside.

Slinks into my seat while nervously watching the khazi,about 10 mins later some poor little african fella comes out looking v confused with my undies in his hand and telling everyone the bog "won't go down"....much to the joy of the now huge queue the bog was put "out of order" and everyone on the plane is muttering about this poor "dirty little black fecker " who caused this mess!

Had a very scarring experience when I was ? 14. Was having one off the wrist in a public loo on Newcastle Town Moor - a over a couple of "Star Birds" I seem to recall, after I had shot my muck, I noticed a mans hand under the the partition of the adjacent cubicle making a beckoning motion.

He was having a heart attack in the next cubicle, you heartless ****.

Imagine that. Kicking the bucket in a public bog and the last thing you have to do, rendered incapable of speaking, is beg for help from a furious tugger, who ignores you completely but not before depositing part of his 'achievement' on your outstretched palm.

That reads like George Michaels defence statement.

HRH

jumped the barrier,to avoid paying 20pee

Ever seen a human sh1t on placed neatly on a cash machine?

A few years ago I was in one of those places that does bowling, pool, has a bar etc etc with my gf and we were playing pool.  There was a £10 deposit for the cues with a sign up saying they had to be returned in one piece or lose the deposit.  As we were playing, the tip came off my gf's cue.  We couldn't get it to stick back on.  Then she had the brilliant idea of my having a wánk in the toilets and saving some of the produce to stick the tip back on.  That I did and of course we couldn't play with the cue anymore but the tip stayed put well enough to hand the cues back and retrieve the deposit, after which we made a hasty exit.

#sic

I was once in a public loo and considered voting Conservative

Most unseemly.

Will defo have to read this later.

On a pub crawl we told a mate we would all give him a tenner if he ate one of the toilet blocks they put in the piss bowl.
As a man motivated by money he got as far as chewing it
He got paid though. We were only early 20s he said easiest money he had earnt.

Is this another without a BOXINGTHEFOX thread