what were the first words spoken to you today

Now you see this is why you are not allowed within 50 metres of the playground anymore.

£mum can i have some toast please

lol, lager go steady there fella

'are you still in your pyjamas'

"Can you put the computer on for me, dad?" - said by my 7-year-old at 5.45am! :0

'is that our alarm' at 1am this morning as the alarm in the kitchen went off.

Are you facking getting up today ?

"morning"

It's snowing again :(

£2.61 please,love.

You can come in now and shut the shed door behind you.

Hello Mr Tevez, how are you today?

Ovalman get up you lazy baastard

'Your dinner's in the oven'

youve got no chance.

your virus database has been updated

Nobody has spoken to me since Tuesday, except on the phone.

"you fell asleep in the firefighter outfit honey"....

"Moshi moshi?"

no-one has spoken to me yet :(

"One for ya mate, cheers"

Postman on delivery of my mums new leather boots.

''Redtube again!

cant you just start drinking whiskey at 8.00am, at least it would be quieter''

awright! (as I got to the office)