I have converted to ISLAM...

Slicer 13 Jan 14:01

btw- have you noticed the marked reduction in terrorist attacks since it was dicovered that Susan**is a virgin?


Possibly the funniest line ever on chit chat. I know you're pretty witty, Slicer, but can't believe you came up with that all on your own ;)

Are you Sonny or Shia?

HH Sultan Vinegar 13 Jan 14:08

Are you Sonny or Shia?

Sunni

Has Gary Glitter converted yet ?

Do you believe in the imminent arrival of the mahdi?

HH Sultan Vinegar 13 Jan 14:08
Are you Sonny or Shia?

:^0

HH Sultan Vinegar 13 Jan 14:16
Do you believe in the imminent arrival of the mahdi?

I believe in the coming of the Mahdi..

What is it that convinced you to convert?

You will be safe travelling by train because no one ever goes for a Shi-ite while the train is standing in a station!

I too believe in the coming of Mahdi- it comes after Lundi and before Mercredi!

One day do you envisage a moslem being in the 10th house on the street of many fools?

slartybartfast. 13 Jan 14:18
What is it that convinced you to convert?

I was christian
I studied christianity and judaism...
i could not believe that jesus was the son, father and holy spirit. Christians i know have changed they religion so suit them.
Judaism, preaches one god, however they reject the belief in jesus.

I studied the Quran, and it made a obligation to believe in jesus, aswell as mary.. also other prophets such as Noah, Abaraham and Moses are mentioned. The quran also thought me about peace, charity and living an honest life.

i could go on.. but theres to much to discuss

HH Sultan Vinegar 13 Jan 14:32

One day do you envisage a moslem being in the 10th house on the street of many fools?

please explain as i am still learning...

Well as they always say on hear- it is never wrong to take any prophet!

ie 10 Downing Street.

Do you see a moslem PM and in the near future?

A mate of mine has just joined the islamic ranks and i was wondering as his surname is Bacon , who would the islamic comunity go about accepting this infidel as mohammed bacon ?

true not a wind up

old ace yes I've a mate called Johnny Walker who says if he converts will possibly need to change, although they seem to get a new name, in your mates case Mohammed Osama Bin LeanBack for instance.

HH Sultan Vinegar 13 Jan 14:34
ie 10 Downing Street.
Do you see a moslem PM and in the near future?

No.. as i cant see a muslim being democratically elected to PM, then again i would have said the same 30 years ago about Obama..

I was christian
----------
bet you were catholic .

my best mate got married to a muslim last year I haven't heard a word since.

I would REALLY appreciate an answer :-
Why do so many Muslims from the North African continent and Nigeria , etc , come to Europe and try to steal from the local inhabitants when surely it is not allowed in the Koran ?

BESSY 13 Jan 14:49
my best mate got married to a muslim last year I haven't heard a word since.
===========
your best mate was obviously a WOMAN .

What is your view of those self-proclaimed Muslims who commit violence in the name of their religious "Jihad"?

no a man, his Dad is an Italian Catholic too

Slicer 13 Jan 14:20
You will be safe travelling by train because no one ever goes for a Shi-ite while the train is standing in a station!

LOL. HNY, mate I hope you are well and thriving.

what do you say about shariah law in the UK?

Thanx BTF- your felicitations are reciprocated!

Princess Higher 13 Jan 14:57
what do you say about shariah law in the UK?

as muslims we have to obey the law of the land... provided it does not restrict the freedom of worship..

Joe Jordan 13 Jan 14:50

I would REALLY appreciate an answer :-
Why do so many Muslims from the North African continent and Nigeria , etc , come to Europe and try to steal from the local inhabitants when surely it is not allowed in the Koran ?

it is not allowed in the quran... do they steal in the name of islam?

slartybartfast. 13 Jan 14:51

What is your view of those self-proclaimed Muslims who commit violence in the name of their religious "Jihad"?

jihad is a long topic, i will give you a detailed answer later.. but suicide bombings are forbidden in islam, killing innocent men, women and children is forbidden.. jihad can only be defensive, ie if your land, house property is attacked then you are able to fight back... the offensive form can only activated when a group of muslims in a non-muslim land are killed or attacked and the authority in that land are not willing or able to defend them, than a muslim army can enter that land and free those being attacked.

is it true about sex with goats and horses ?

Thanks for your considered response.

What should the ending be to Islamabad?

was one of Mohamheads wifes 3 ?

sorry 13, typo..

Why do Extreem Muslims want Shariah Law in the UK, when if there was Shariah Law in the Uk, they would not be allowed to demand a change in the political structure such as the imposition of Shariah Law?

Why don't they show more 'HUmphrey' from Gigglebiz? My son loves that bit

Have you got any promo codes for Lidl horse blankets?

you are a bellend

CASEMONEY ...FA CUP THREAD ...2x CHOICES PLEASE ?

not a question, Burt

04/09-04/10 another 100k 13 Jan 15:03
it is not allowed in the quran... do they steal in the name of islam?
=======
They steal despite pretending to be more religious than others .

sorted JOE

it was directed at the op cupra not you

ta CM .. :-)

Slicer, I believe you once posted something about
muslims having sex with horses and goats, that was in the holy scriptures,any chance of a repost please ?

Case Money can you choose 2 from Baggers list of 16 behind your post :0

and thus the hoards had anal with the ba-bas

Casemoney- I never posted that filth.
I am a very serious, well educated and highly intelligent individual who has no need to descend to that level to show what extreme Muslims really are!

I hope this clarifies the position and DO NOT EVER ACCUSE ME OF POSTING SUCH FILTH AGAIN!

1) Why can you call a person muhammed but not a teddy bear?

2) How do you know the Koran is 100% correct and hasn't been changed by people over the ages?

3) How can you base your beliefs and the way you act on one f#cking book that was written hundreds of years ago? (same question to the christians)

4) Do you honestly think that the other 97% of the UK population will ever allow Shariah law to happen?

5) Do you make your women wear ninja costumes because you are so insecure about your ability to keep them otherwise?

6) Do you agree with paedophilia given that your messiah married a 9 year old?

7) How can you do a proper job at work when you have to waste time praying 5 times a day? What happens if you skip one or are a bit late?

8) Do you accept that certain concepts of Islam - you know, things like stoning people to death for minor offences - are abhorrent in a civilised society?

9) Why is it OK for suicide bombers to also kill Muslims in public places?

10) Why is your clothing so outdated and traditional? Surely it's possible to be modern AND religious. There's probably a market for a North Face gore tex burkha...

was prophet mohammed a pedo?

slipperynipple
why are you such a moron?

Is gambling agaist islamic law?
If so are you just here for the forums now?

shergarburger 13 Jan 15:48
slipperynipple
why are you such a moron?

Practice probably. Care to specify what you've taken offence to?

Beards ?

shergarburger ....your reply to nipples 15:51 post is eagerlly awaited ....
more in hope than expectation though ...i might add ..

HH Sultan Vinegar 13 Jan 15:49
Is gambling agaist islamic law?
If so are you just here for the forums now?

answered this in the original post

So you did. My apologies.

shergarburge, why are you such a Cowardly moron

slipperynipple 13 Jan 15:44


1) Why can you call a person muhammed but not a teddy bear?

2) How do you know the Koran is 100% correct and hasn't been changed by people over the ages?

3) How can you base your beliefs and the way you act on one f#cking book that was written hundreds of years ago? (same question to the christians)

4) Do you honestly think that the other 97% of the UK population will ever allow Shariah law to happen?

5) Do you make your women wear ninja costumes because you are so insecure about your ability to keep them otherwise?

6) Do you agree with paedophilia given that your messiah married a 9 year old?

7) How can you do a proper job at work when you have to waste time praying 5 times a day? What happens if you skip one or are a bit late?

8) Do you accept that certain concepts of Islam - you know, things like stoning people to death for minor offences - are abhorrent in a civilised society?

9) Why is it OK for suicide bombers to also kill Muslims in public places?

10) Why is your clothing so outdated and traditional? Surely it's possible to be modern AND religious. There's probably a market for a North Face gore tex burkha...

-----

1. You can call a teddy bear muhammed.

2. the quran was memorised by hundreds and thousands of people.

3. It wasnt just one book, there are other texts such as hadiths that number thousands, the way of life and actions have been passed down by millions of people..

4. shariah law will happen in the uk... and only 15 so called muslims call for it in the UK.

5. women are not forced to wear the veil, also i believe its not obligatory for a women to wear one.

6. i believe you do not have the intelligience to understand my reply on this issue.

7. whats a proper job? if you miss one or late, you can read it later, as long as the reason is justifiable.

8. minor offences in on society, major in another... stoning penalty is open to interpretation.. many muslim countries do not impose this.

9. suicide bombings are forbidden weather its killing muslims or non-muslims

10. muslim men can wear jeans, trousers, shirts, suits etc etc.. women can wear anything, howver in public the clothing has to be loose and the hair has to be covered.

sorry 4.. shariah law will not happen in the uk

Is it true all muslim men must shave their balls

slipperynipple, excellent list, the answers should be interesting, if they arrive!

oops

Cr*p answers.

Barry Conway 13 Jan 16:17


Is it true all muslim men must shave their balls

yes.. for hygiene reasons

Matthew 4:19
"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you phishers of men."

Joe Jordan 13 Jan 15:54
shergarburger ....your reply to nipples 15:51 post is eagerlly awaited ....
more in hope than expectation though ...i might add ..
============
30 minutes passed .. :-)

04/09-04/10 another 100k 13 Jan 16:16
6. i believe you do not have the intelligience to understand my reply on this issue.
================
OH did you make one somewhere ?

10. howver in public the clothing has to be loose and the hair has to be covered.
================
Are You saying the women have beards / or moustaches ,
as they cover their lower face up .

Ok for those who find it hard to understand...

Hair as in the hair on the head...

as for the covering of the face. its not obligatory.

Where's the best place in London to get those Genie costumes you wear?

am actually surprised no one's asked why there aren't any moslems on Star Trek . :p

1. You can call a teddy bear muhammed. ...... Yes if you want death threats

2. the quran was memorised by hundreds and thousands of people. .....Wonderful a religion based on "Chinese Whispers

3. It wasnt just one book, there are other texts such as hadiths that number thousands, the way of life and actions have been passed down by millions of people......As above

4. shariah law will happen in the uk... and only 15 so called muslims call for it in the UK......And you doubt the intelligence of others!

5. women are not forced to wear the veil, also i believe its not obligatory for a women to wear one........We all believe that!!!!

6. i believe you do not have the intelligience to understand my reply on this issue......No comment

7. whats a proper job? if you miss one or late, you can read it later, as long as the reason is justifiable......... Fair enough

8. minor offences in on society, major in another... stoning penalty is open to interpretation.. many muslim countries do not impose this........Different versions of despite being passed down by millions.

9. suicide bombings are forbidden weather its killing muslims or non-muslims. the bombers must be listening to the wrong Holy men. an almost daily occurrence of something that is forbidden???

10. muslim men can wear jeans, trousers, shirts, suits etc etc.. women can wear anything, howver in public the clothing has to be loose and the hair has to be covered.........in this country yes. why then don't more wear the "non uniform"

Ok thanks, this is quite interesting to me at present so if I may continue:

1. You can call a teddy bear muhammed.
- Ok I have just read up on this and it would seem you are technically correct. Just don't draw a picture of the bear with its name next to it!!!

2. the quran was memorised by hundreds and thousands of people.
3. It wasnt just one book, there are other texts such as hadiths that number thousands, the way of life and actions have been passed down by millions of people.

Surely all these people will have introduced variation and their own interpretations such that the version you read now must be totally different to that of the first version. Just like chinese whispers.

4. shariah law will not happen in the uk... and only 15 so called muslims call for it in the UK.

Excellent, not sure how you can be so specific on the numbers.

5. women are not forced to wear the veil, also i believe its not obligatory for a women to wear one.

OK I will take your word for that.

6. i believe you do not have the intelligience to understand my reply on this issue.

Try me. (Says the person who can't spell intelligence?)

7. whats a proper job? if you miss one or late, you can read it later, as long as the reason is justifiable.

You know, one with a routine and/or an expectation that you devote your time to the job, not your god. How long does each prayer session take incidentally?

8. minor offences in on society, major in another... stoning penalty is open to interpretation.. many muslim countries do not impose this.

Mmmn. When do you think it's acceptable?

9. suicide bombings are forbidden weather its killing muslims or non-muslims

Excellent, I forgot you're probably not an extremist.

10. muslim men can wear jeans, trousers, shirts, suits etc etc.. women can wear anything, howver in public the clothing has to be loose and the hair has to be covered.

See I've always wondered how you end up with an attractive woman when you can't tell what she looks like until you take her costume off. Your loss I guess.

slipperynipple 13 Jan 16:34


Ok thanks, this is quite interesting to me at present so if I may continue:

1. You can call a teddy bear muhammed.
- Ok I have just read up on this and it would seem you are technically correct. Just don't draw a picture of the bear with its name next to it!!!

2. the quran was memorised by hundreds and thousands of people.
3. It wasnt just one book, there are other texts such as hadiths that number thousands, the way of life and actions have been passed down by millions of people.

Surely all these people will have introduced variation and their own interpretations such that the version you read now must be totally different to that of the first version. Just like chinese whispers.

YOU ARE RIGHT, MANY PEOPLE TIED TO DISTORT ISLAM HOWEVER THE TRUTH WAS PROTECTED..

4. shariah law will not happen in the uk... and only 15 so called muslims call for it in the UK.

Excellent, not sure how you can be so specific on the numbers.

5. women are not forced to wear the veil, also i believe its not obligatory for a women to wear one.

OK I will take your word for that.

6. i believe you do not have the intelligience to understand my reply on this issue.

Try me. (Says the person who can't spell intelligence?)

PLENTY OF TIME FOR THAT..

7. whats a proper job? if you miss one or late, you can read it later, as long as the reason is justifiable.

You know, one with a routine and/or an expectation that you devote your time to the job, not your god. How long does each prayer session take incidentally?

9-5? EACH PRAYER TAKED NO MORE THAN 5 MINS

8. minor offences in on society, major in another... stoning penalty is open to interpretation.. many muslim countries do not impose this.

Mmmn. When do you think it's acceptable?

EYE OR EYE

9. suicide bombings are forbidden weather its killing muslims or non-muslims

Excellent, I forgot you're probably not an extremist.

10. muslim men can wear jeans, trousers, shirts, suits etc etc.. women can wear anything, howver in public the clothing has to be loose and the hair has to be covered.

See I've always wondered how you end up with an attractive woman when you can't tell what she looks like until you take her costume off. Your loss I guess.

PLENTY OF HOT ONES..

IS THAT RIGHT?

almost...nice research, are you muslim?

No answers then, just drivel.

5. women are not forced to wear the veil, also i believe its not obligatory for a women to wear one.
-----
OK I will take your word for that.
------
Please don't ..
Take the word of Muslim Women who have received an education (as you know the vast majority dont beyond junior school to keep them subjucated to the men ) they will telll you HOW "not obligatory" it is ....

Joe I think we are wasting our time with this joker.

Joe Jordan 13 Jan 17:12
5. women are not forced to wear the veil, also i believe its not obligatory for a women to wear one.
-----
OK I will take your word for that.
------
Please don't ..
Take the word of Muslim Women who have received an education (as you know the vast majority dont beyond junior school to keep them subjucated to the men ) they will telll you HOW "not obligatory" it is ....

those times are long gone.. the number of muslim women at university has increased 5 fold in the last 10 years... the veil (face cover) is not obligatory.. the headscarf is..

What is your favourite film?

headscarf covering lower face , not veil ...understood ..cheers .

shawshank redemption..

In which order would you do girls aloud ?

Are you going to date only muslims in future, assuming you're not married or loved up with a non-muslim ?

Why do your suicide bombers believe in 72 virgins in heaven ?

Do you get white dog poo in the middle east ?

I suspect it would be a " Mitzvah " to convert a non - believer to Islam so it would be no problem having a relationship with someone outside the faith imo.

the only islamic country i have been to is Turkey and plenty of girls do not cover their hair and also wear "western" clothes.

I also understand that the western ways amongst the educated young women of iran were reversed when a less moderate regime came to power.

how does this fit with a consistent generic islam handed down, and your own statement as to what is obligatory or not?

One very simple Question for you please...

Why do the stricter muslims blow up Girls schools so they cannot be educated --- and kill Teachers who attempt to educate girls ?

for the same reason that strict christians have been and still are involved in horrid atrocities.
and that reason is

Religion Sucks

Q. Do you think that it is time that Islam was brought upto date for modern times instead of living in the past?

BTW.Muslems are like gays. Nobody cares what you do as long as you dont bother other people. Live by the law of the land, stop stamping your feet and start crying when you dont get your own way and respect other religions.

should of joined the mormons instead only true church

do you live in islamisbad?

crescit 13 Jan 19:12
the only islamic country i have been to is Turkey and plenty of girls do not cover their hair and also wear "western" clothes.

I also understand that the western ways amongst the educated young women of iran were reversed when a less moderate regime came to power.

how does this fit with a consistent generic islam handed down, and your own statement as to what is obligatory or not?

Turkey wants to see its self as a secular state rather than an islamic one, there many in the country who oppose this. Even if an islamic government is voted in (current PM leans more to the islamic way of life) the army can veto any decisions that go agaist its secular thinking.

The headscarf was banned by the turkish government in government positions, schools/colleges, hospital staff etc etc...

I think its all done in order to satisfy Brussels and help Turkey into the EU...

yawn

so you believe all women should wear headscarves?

I know plenty of muslim girls who dont

should wear concrete coats

not intrested about islam, your wasteing space on this forum mug !!!!

Top bombing.

crescit 14 Jan 11:24
so you believe all women should wear headscarves?

I know plenty of muslim girls who dont

Islam makes it obligatory for a muslim women to wear one. If they do or dont its they choice, especially in the UK.. In other countries it may be law etc..