Family problem

FK em. When we got married we had so little family and mostly friends.

Happy New Year Sals. DMLl

Your daughter's worth more than your sister. Tell your sister to go to hell, it's not her kid getting married.

Right back at you dml....i agree with you 100%...wished they would both fck off to carribean or somewhere on there own...the whole thing is really stressing my misses out

Is there room for the GF or is your Daughter just acting up?
If there is room there is no excuse.

Your daughter's worth more than your sister.

No one is "worth" more than anyone else. Its about being mature and showing some consideration for each other.

tell your daughter if she doesnt have family there in 20 years time she'll be so sorry that they werent there.

Its a day for the whole family to get together imo.

Something similar happened with my sister's wedding - she didnt invite my cousins which meant that aunt went crazy and never turned up creating a mini rift in the family.

You should try to stay out of it - it is your daughter's wedding, so her wishes are all that should really matter - if your sister cant accept that then it is her problem to get over.

Theres plenty of room...theres no excuse....ive even offered to pay for the girls meal.....but my daughters excuse is that all the other single guests are not allowed partners

Thats a non excuse imo.

Your daughter have a run in with the GF?

no joe...shes never met the girl.....carnt believe she wont relent for my sake.

why is she imposing such a strange rule?

very strange imo.

"sorry you can't come to share the happiest day of my life because you're not shacked up with some one in a legal relationship.

wind your neck in luv.

it is your daughter's wedding, so her wishes are all that should really matter

This is something i disagree on JB. Wedding invitations should involve the whole family. There are family friends long term who the bride/groom wont know but should be invited out of respect for the long term relationship they would have with say the parents or extended family as well as your own.

your son has a GF of 4 years and your daughter has never met her?
Strange ;)

weird rules,get your daughter to lighten up imo

have to say, i think you need to just bang their heads together and get them BOTH to see the bigger picture, basically that life will go on after this wedding and that its not so important that its worth ruining relationships over. women tend to lose it a bit when it comes to their big day and it needs a man to help them keep things in perspective imo.

Exactly , have a word with the groom ;)

talk to your daughter ffs. one exception in a strange rule for peace. make her feel like the bigger person

groom is probably already regretting it ;)

your son has a GF of 4 years and your daughter has never met her?

sorry my mistake, your sisters son...getting mixed up.... not so strange :) Opinion still stands though :)

I agree with you padlock...this whole thing could be sorted if my daughter would just give the nod....the problem is that my daughters job is quite high powered and i dont think she can seperate her job from family issues

Fair point Joe, although girlfriend of a cousin might not be particularly close (depends on the family of course).

From what I have seen, women can become very single minded when it comes to their own wedding, refusing to bend at all on what they feel is best. Salsa, although wanting to accommodate his sister's wishes shouldnt compromise his own relationship with her, he shouldnt risk a rift between himself and her because of this...hence my advice to try to stay out of it.

The daughter is probably wrong, and will probably realise that either before or after the wedding, so speak to her as much as possible but that is all you can really do. Then try to get your sister and daughter to speak, if that doesnt work then nothing you can do and then can either hate each other or forget about it.

Thats fair JB but i wouldnt be happy. The daughter will get on with her life whilst salsa is left to deal with the mess.

My sister and my daughter rarely see each other ( just the way it is ) but i get on very well with my bruv in law and my sis and i dont want to lose touch with them both but this will definately drive a wedge between us

Families eh? :)

Does your daughter work in HR? They love creating issues for no reason at all.

The daughter wants the wedding breakfast to be a "family affair" with only relatives and their husbands/wives (or live-in equivalents). What's wrong with that?

The aunt wants an invite for her lad's girlfriend, a perfect stranger to the bride & groom, or she'll have a paddy. Like I say, tell the aunt to go to hell, she should have more sense at her age.

You'll miss your daughter more than you'll ever miss your sister.

a paddy ?
ttt

Jeez.

Supposed to be getting married next year and this is the type of thing I dread.

Tempted to fly out to Vegas and get married by a portly Elvis impersonator in a drive-thru wedding.

Got married a few years ago and the mother in law and the wife went into overdrive about it. Ended up inviting about 260 people to the wedding breakfast. The only two rules I had was that if anyone got an invite I had to have actually met them, that meant that a load of her distant family were not invited. However if they hadnt made the effort to meet us in the 6 years we were dating then they didnt deserve an invite. I agree with your daughter actually....a bride does not want strangers at the most important day of her life.

The other rule was that I got to choose the table names, and choose the names of my ex-girlfriends.

Respect your daughters wishes. Then you and sister need to talk about why this shouldn't impact your relationship.

Why is your daughter only invited married couples ffs? i've never heard anything like it in my life.

madness.

However if they hadnt made the effort to meet us in the 6 years we were dating then they didnt deserve an invite.

:^0 so they are to blame for not meeting you. how about you remove yourselves from the couch and make the effort to meet them? oh wait no you didnt.....you couldnt make it up.

is the breakfast family only?

if not there is no excuse, if so then even then i would probably still invite the GF just out of respect.

If its family only, why not just invite the immediate families?
forget about cousins etc...

will most likely be proposing to my girlfriend sometime this year, (assuming that she accepts) the wedding is going to be a nightmare - she has at least 40 aunts & uncles

Just refuse to go to the wedding salsabil. No offence but your daughter seems very stuck up and precious and stubborn etc. Only way to learn them is by being tough as fk on them. She is acting ridiculously.

salsabil5 09 Jan 09:26


My daughters getting married in april...quite a big do etc.Heres the problem....

Invitations have been sent out and my daughter insists that only married couples/ co habitants are welcome to the meal that preceeds the wedding.Now my sister"s son has a long term g/friend (4yrs) and she hasnt been invited....MY SISTER HAS GONE BALLISTIC.


My daughter has pointed out that the girl is welcome to the evening festivities and that if anybody was to drop out she will be first on the list, however my sister looks upon this as a major sleight and has been on the phone to me insisting she will not attend if my daughter wont back down.


My daughter is very stubborn and because of my sisters threats has now said there is no chance at all now of the girl getting an invite. Ive pleaded with my daughter , so as to save my relationship with my sister ..but she wont. My sister has told me she realises its nothing to do with me and is not blaming me but i KNOW my sis and our relationship will definately be ruined



Any advice on how to handle this delicate sittuation would be most appreciated.



p.s. My nephews girlfriend isnt 4 yrs old

Surely no one would want to spoil your daughters big day m8 if the truth is known, considering your sister's son's girlfriend is invited to the evening do, everyone should act just like adults, with the expense of the wedding and the sit down meal they should understand, esp your sister.
Family's hey - why people can't just go with the flow (Given time i reckon it will be ok m8!!).

Good luck to your daughter in her marriage :)

Quimby

Are you stupid? Where does it say that I sat on a couch for 6 years? Weddings are important days to share with people that have been a part of your life not a bunch of strangers you have never met.

The fact we had 160 sit down for the breakfast suggests my social life is more than healthy.

You couldnt make it up.

Plum.

but glamour, you moan and blame others for "Not making the effort to meet YOU". How about you make an effort to meet them. Works both ways :) Calling someone a plum?, dont get worked up, relax :^0

The fact we had 160 sit down for the breakfast suggests my social life is more than healthy.
Cant remember saying anything about your social life, just your attitude of blaming others for not "Making an efort to meet you".
Maybe i touched a nerve though, apologies if i did.

only one solution im afraid,your sisters son will have to get married

it is a very weird rule your daughters imposing

:^0

The point is though Joe, is that the sister in this situation is stomping her feet about the gf not being invited, yet they expect to share the special day and have not even bothered to meet them. I would be embarrassed going to a wedding in which I didnt even know the bride. I am sure there are people who the couple know and would want to invite but cannot because of numbers. Surely the bride should know everyone at her wedding?

Sorry about the Plum bit.

would be a good one, get the nephew to get married before your daughter and then they don't have to invite your daughter's fiance because they won't be married yet.

that'll learn 'em

:^0

The "its her wedding day" stuff doesn't wash with me at all - your daughter is acting ridiculously and should get over herself - I have never heard of any wedding where only married couples are invited - there's be alot of empty receptions in this Godless Britain

ah no worries glamour, i am a bit of a plum :^0
Respect your point :)
I suppose my own opinion is if it is trully a "Family lunch/breakfast" or a more open meal. If its family only, i would personally invite only immediate family, if not im surprised the daughter is not inviting her.

I don't necissarily agree though Glamour though that weddings are only for being with people you know. Depending on the wedding type, many people have to invite people who they may never have met but are long term family friends out of respect.

she'll be asking guests to provide their wedding certificates next :^0

Fair point Joe

I just think demanding an invite lacks a little bit of class. Its the brides day, not the sisters or the gfs day.

Anyway hope it sorts itself out...should be one of the best days of anyones life.

Have not read all thread......I would put your foot down..........say you will not go unless all singles can bring their partners to the reception......she will cave in......

"Invitations have been sent out and my daughter insists that only married couples/ co habitants are welcome to the meal"


ask all the other married couple to show solidarity by getting temporarily divorced.

What about the co-habitants...?

I dont think its anything to do with your sister who your daughter invites to her own wedding.

Most people seem to have not read the OP correctly. Basically from what I can gather your daughter wants to limit numbers to a certain amount and so has decided only wives or co-habiting partners are invited. She is worried that inviting a gf will then offend other guests who aren't allowed to bring their gfs or bfs.
You have 2 choices you explain this thoroughly to your sister and hope she understands that your daughter is worried about setting precedents or offending other guests by having 1 rule for 1 and 1 rule for others. Or you ask your daughter to make an exception in this case explaining that although they aren't cohabiting they have been dating for 4 years so should be included within this category as a serious partner.

Good luck

Thanks for all your replies...must say some of them have really made my wife and i crease up.....carnt say im any nearer resolving the dilema but im going to see my sister tomorrow and explain to her my nephews g/f hasnt been singled out ( think there will be more tears and tantrums however)


Thanks again for your input fellahs

I see that I haven't been invited so I won't be coming to the evening booze up either and you can tell your daughter that she won't be getting a microwave with a built-in turnip masher from me. So there.

And as for your sister, tell her to clear the snow off her path. I went on my arse delivering her Racing Post this morning.

Give the sis a voucher for a McMuffin at Mickey Ds :^0

who gives a sh!t?

Glossy 09 Jan 10:25 (and perhaps JBHA)

Jeez.

Supposed to be getting married next year and this is the type of thing I dread.

Tempted to fly out to Vegas and get married by a portly Elvis impersonator in a drive-thru wedding.




this is what we did, without the elvis and it wasn't a drive thru!. gave family and friends about 6 weeks notice and it was left with them if they wanted to come or not. personally, i would've been happy enough if it was just me and the missus. we still had guests i'd not met before! none of which answers salsabil, however.

erm, shoot them both in the face?

6 weeks notice?

that gave them plenty of time to save up

who gives a sh1t? :)

Who's paying for the wedding?

If it's you you should say "I'm paying for the feckin wedding and I want them there!"

indeed

that was to easter 1916

Get all the guests to phone your daughter and tell her she's not right.

the politics of weddings!!

Why should they be welcome at the evening festivities, but not at the meal? She's being a precocious little tw@t and deserves the wettest day of the year for her wedding........

Shes paying for nearly all of it..just a small contribution from me...she earns top dollar and wants the whole coboddle...fcking waste of money if you ask me

Im writing this from my hospital bed.....i went to see her this morning and she shot me in the face :(

threaten to turn up in a really expensive white silk dress. with a long train.

and a veil.

hard luck salsa, you always had a pretty face :^0

She will need that £££ when she loses her job...