Although maybe it would look a bit odd for a player to give the full double-hander...?

On the 'table tap', you have to prefer the John Higgins/Mark Selby full bang with the knuckles. Don't like the laying of the cue on the rail so much - little but casual for me...

Its supposed to show a quite respect...

Suppose it would distract when at the table. Although I'm sure there are one or two that wouldn't mind a warm hand amongst the balls.

Should any spectator caught doing a frame-ball 'knee-clap" be knee-capped?

A COUPLE OF FINGERS IN THE MOUTH AND A BIG WHISTLE FROM THE OPPONENT WOULD BE QUITE AMUSING

Very distracting. Would certainly make it a lot harder when addressing the cue ball - a player might have to take a moment to compose himself by asking the ref to give it a rub with white gloves.

i think a double handed clap should be reserved ro only the finest of poyd. Lets be honest, we all enjoy seeing a long one pulled of at the Crucible. I think the use of both hands would be a fair reward and both players would get a lot out of it.

*the finest of pots

I can only apologise, my shoddy typing is a blight on the otherwise impeccable and high-minded level of debate that this forum and the sport in general is renowned for. I shudder at the purile and childish fare served up elsewhere, I really do...

You are Finbarr Saunders and I claim my £5.  Can I have one of the brand new stiff and shiny meaty ones please?  Fnarr fnarr.

Fnarr indeed Alun! 'Carry on Cueing' anyone?

I do hope no-one's going to make tasteless references to 'potting the pink' or (Allah forbid) 'potting the brown' in this new 'Carry On' ?

No they are outlawed. However, one line reads: "A good break here - you often see a sizeable one when the balls are being caressed and maneuvered with such delicacy."

Any good?

Any more for any more?

Ok, last one... "A Miss as been called - Ronnnie's got his extension in his hand and I think he's going to try and get round the back of it on this occasion."

McManus just wieghed in with "I think the brown spot might be available". Haha!

Excellent.

"4 frames played so far this afternoon....(camera pans to 4 buxom snooker groupies) ...this young man will have enjoyed his mid session interval, having taken all four of those."

Quite good fun coming up with these, beats doing the crossword...

That quote would also work if the young man won all 8 frames.