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ccd
02 May 09 16:44
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Date Joined: 07 Jan 08
| Topic/replies: 362 | Blogger: ccd's blog
I'd like to go brass-rubbing with Doug Mountjoy...
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Report dougydougy. October 6, 2009 3:31 PM BST
I'd like to spend several days seducing a plethora of ex Russian female KGB agents while seamlessly averting an international crisis at the same time with Nigel Bond.
Report mrtruthful October 8, 2009 12:58 AM BST
spending a day at ladbrokes with neale foulds
Report richieboy44 October 8, 2009 11:08 AM BST
going to the dog races with Alex Higgins
Report the parkie October 8, 2009 1:52 PM BST
Public semi-naked yodelling with Mario Morra.

The little Canadian and myself would strip down to our specially commissioned matching vests and y-fronts and crouch behind the wall by the bus stop, where we would alternately wail at both passers-by and those waiting for the bus, before crouching down and giggling incessantly to ourselves if anyone looked round. Anyone nosey enough to come forward and investigate would be met with us both standing up. pulling down our pants and waving our penises in a circling motion while blowing raspberries, before running away laughing manically.

In the evening we take a personal jet to Mario's Manitoba homestead where we would watch documentaries about sightings of Bigfoot whilst tucking into a delicious Lobster Thermidor. At bedtime we would both get in the same sleeping bag in our pants where each other's body warmth would send us into a fitful nights sleep and **-erotic nighttime emmisions.

Bliss.
Report sparkplug October 8, 2009 3:10 PM BST
have mark allen tied spread eagled to a bed and a couple of big black men queueing up behind the little to55er.
Report pandora1963 October 8, 2009 3:20 PM BST
the parkie,that was fcking funny lol
Report richieboy44 October 8, 2009 3:50 PM BST
nice one parkie ;) you really seem to have got the hang of this thread :^0
Report Yossarrian October 15, 2009 1:22 PM BST
I wouldn't mind a game of hide and seek with Dene O'Kane

Any more?
Report airbag October 15, 2009 2:37 PM BST
An afternoon on the pop & a titty bar with the angelic Shaun Murphy
Report Whittler October 16, 2009 3:25 AM BST
I'd like to go galloping through the glen with Peter Ebdon
Report STEPTOES YARD October 16, 2009 9:35 PM BST
Clearing up dog foul in the park with Dave Harold(fully plastered)
Report tom_peppers_evil_abandoned_son October 19, 2009 2:58 AM BST
Out of my manor on glue (shoplifting in IKEA) with Barry Pinches
Report onetruesaxon1964 October 19, 2009 8:27 AM BST
atit all day with jimmy and ronny wood
Report airbag October 22, 2009 4:22 PM BST
Tobagonning with Tony Drago followed by a pie and pea supper
Report Mr Trueman October 26, 2009 10:02 PM GMT
david grey singing and playing snooker and drinking of course!!
Report RoyClaytonsTash October 27, 2009 9:54 AM GMT
drink driving with dean reynolds,then a road kill curry
Report Yossarrian November 4, 2009 3:18 PM GMT
A beetle drive with Steve James and Angles McManus

Any more?
Report johnnybigbananas November 5, 2009 11:58 AM GMT
Taking Stephen Lee to the **ing cleaners ...
Report BobbyPeru November 5, 2009 8:05 PM GMT
On the afternoon it will be trainspotting with Patsy Fagan, and at some point i will ask him if he has got over his problems with the rest.

The following afternoon i will be going to an origami class with Tony Meo.
Report BobbyPeru November 5, 2009 8:16 PM GMT
Oh and i forgot to mention, me and Billy Snaddon are off to the cinema this Saturday for a Saw-athon, all six films back to back, should be fun. He wanted to bring Chris Small but i talked him out of it.
Report My Way De Solzen November 6, 2009 2:53 PM GMT
I' pay a lot of money for a booze cruise down the River Dart with Len Ganley.

I'm not saying there wouldn't be any reach around action but i most certainly would not make the first move.

No sir.
Report BobbyPeru November 6, 2009 6:25 PM GMT
Len is a gent and would clean your balls first, before attempting the easy brown.
Report fairweather November 12, 2009 8:50 PM GMT
one of the funniest threads ive seen on here - craft fair with tony knowles had me in stitches. :D
Report flag of goats November 12, 2009 9:22 PM GMT
tree hugging with Marcel Gavreau in the New Forest.
Report alun2005 November 12, 2009 10:51 PM GMT
Just had a quiet cry knowing that I will never accomplish a long-cherished dream.

Would have loved to go to a different town centre at lunchtime each day with the late great John Spencer, performing 'street theatre' or 'performance art' or 'being workshy idiots doing nothing of any earthly value' or whatever it's called these days.

John and I would perform various skits from assorted 'Carry On' films, with Spence excelling himself as the various Barbara Windsor characters, and your humble author doing the Kenneth Williams and Sid James parts.

Our 'showstopper' would involve us standing completely still, pretending to be statues, generating awestruck looks and responses from deluded passers-by, who would empty the contents of their wallets and purses into our begging bowl, then go home and wonder why they massively are in debt.

I think you will agree, a beautiful dream, tragically never to be realised. Quite frankly I just want to wash that dream right out of my head.
Report harcon November 23, 2009 4:47 PM GMT
Decorating my spare bedroom with Perry Mans, after which I would treat him to a Chinese and a couple of episodes from my Curb Your Enthusiasm box set as a token of my gratitude
Report Sir Denis Eton-Hogg November 23, 2009 4:55 PM GMT
Doing some graffiti and petty vandalism with Steve James
Report whu147 November 28, 2009 8:49 PM GMT
connect 4 with Dave Harold
Report onewheel November 28, 2009 9:04 PM GMT
just spotted this

always my ambition to have an afternoon emptying the bins with 'Steady' Eddie Charlton
Report My Way De Solzen December 4, 2009 6:58 PM GMT
binge eating on Xmas selection boxes with Peter Francisco
Report DarkDagger December 5, 2009 2:35 AM GMT
A quiet day pottering around Ludlow with Marco Fu.

And then an evening of vigorous bumsex.
Report My Way De Solzen December 8, 2009 3:14 PM GMT
browsing charity shops in Potters Barr looking for cake stands with Terry Griffiths, one of us in a wheelchair to save our legs for the running machine at GymBox later
Report tom_peppers_evil_abandoned_son December 8, 2009 6:25 PM GMT
Limo and Shampers with Brian 'blaster' Combe
Report Mister Logic December 8, 2009 6:41 PM GMT
I would like to spend an afternoon walking barefoot through a park in Glossop, listening to a Catherine Cookson audiobook on Jason Weston's IPod.
Report They think it's all over.... December 9, 2009 10:36 AM GMT
An afternoon spent with Graham Miles,Les Dodd,Terry Griffiths and Michael Holt,it would consist of an indoor games competition,cluedo,
connect four,crossfire and ker plunk.Holt would be warned in a Frank
Dobermanesque manner not to bang hes fist on the table during the
ker plunk discipline.
Report ccd December 11, 2009 7:33 PM GMT
I'd like to trol the ancient yuletime carol with Mark King...got a problem with that?
Report ccd December 11, 2009 7:41 PM GMT
Yes - it still lives!!!!
Liking the sawathon with Pinches and the Ganley 'reach-around-action' LOL!!! Awesome effort people - isnt it time the bbc took this up as an actual prize next tournament???

riht - im off to sit in a dark room with Ding just looking at the floor and feeling awkward
Report ccd December 11, 2009 7:42 PM GMT
Yes - it still lives!!!!
Liking the 'sawathon' with Pinches and the Ganley 'reach-around-action' up the river dart LOL!!! Awesome effort people - isnt it time the bbc took this up as an actual prize next tournament???

right - im off to sit in a dark room with Ding just probly looking at the floor and feeling awkward...
Report ccd December 11, 2009 7:42 PM GMT
Yes - it still lives!!!!
Liking the 'sawathon' with Pinches and the Ganley 'reach-around-action' up the river dart LOL!!! Awesome effort people - isnt it time the bbc took this up as an actual prize next tournament???

right - im off to sit in a dark room with Ding just probly looking at the floor and feeling awkward...
Report ccd December 11, 2009 7:43 PM GMT
Yes - it still lives!!!!
Liking the 'sawathon' with Pinches and the Ganley 'reach-around-action' up the river dart LOL!!! Awesome effort people - isnt it time the bbc took this up as an actual prize next tournament???

right - im off to sit in a dark room with Ding just probly looking at the floor and feeling awkward...
Report Graham Vs Green December 12, 2009 12:32 AM GMT
Whitewater rafting with Graham Miles.
Report The_Truth December 12, 2009 1:17 PM GMT
Knock down ginger with Chris small
Report Graham Vs Green December 13, 2009 2:01 AM GMT
Nothing I'd love more than ...

Picking up spares playing Ten-pin Bowling with Murdo Macleod...
Report Graham Vs Green December 19, 2009 2:43 AM GMT
TTT
Report Fragments of life December 20, 2009 3:43 PM GMT
Playing spoof with Martin Clark while drinking warm ginger ale in the Sedgeley British Legion.
Report My Way De Solzen December 21, 2009 2:48 PM GMT
Spatchcocking a brace of guineafowl with Cliff 'the tasche' Thorburn
Report skips21 December 21, 2009 7:50 PM GMT
getting on the powder with ronnie ;-)
Report Aves December 27, 2009 2:09 PM GMT
**le-picking with Liang Wenbo at sunset in Morecambe Bay followed by a night out in Blackpool.
Report punctured bicycle December 29, 2009 3:36 PM GMT
I´d like to spend an afternoon arranging my CD collection in alphabetical order with Andy ´the cream of Devon´ Hicks.
Report RoyClaytonsTash December 30, 2009 3:42 PM GMT
Urinating on left over snow with Jim Meadowcroft,swords crossing.
Report poogirl December 30, 2009 6:00 PM GMT
Squeezing the spots on joe johnsons back
Report bacontrout. December 31, 2009 10:46 AM GMT
cooking meatloaf with alain robidoux
Report tennis plums done December 31, 2009 11:25 AM GMT
an afternoon trying to drop pub gamblers with Stefan Mazrocis, leading to a rowdy p*ss up round northampton.
Report alun2005 April 18, 2010 4:21 PM BST
There isn't one of us who would turn down the chance of an afternoon with those marvellous Francisco lads.

In an ideal world we'd all be completely skint, and forced to sing for our supper (and more importantly our betting money) outside shops in the High Street. We'd deliver a Jive Bunny type medley of Bananarama hits and Glenn Miller classics. Our showstopper though would be doing 'Ice Ice Baby', doing rapper moves, looking sinister, taking it in turns to do the verses, then joining in together on the chorus.

Obese women would swoon at our feet and empty the contents of their purses in admiration. When our collecting hat ( one of those berets from the Manchester Commonwealth Games) had reached 100 quid, we'd head for L abdrokes, and spend the afternoon doing mug accas and forecasts on the Monmore dogs. Each time we won, we would do the Haka, complete with adrenalised stare at the shop manager.

Heaven.
Report ccd April 18, 2010 7:14 PM BST
I fondly remember the summer of 1986 - Alain Robideux and I hooked up and flew out to Cali. Geez - we cruised them beaches with aviator shades and no frickin tops on dude. It was all about catching rays, flipping frisbees, balling chicks and smoking doobies. Oh man - we were 'the guys'...
Report snookerbacker April 18, 2010 7:32 PM BST
Surely a lovely seafood restaurant meal followed by a power-walk on the promenade with Stefan Mazrocis must rate highly on everyones list of 'Five things to do before I Die?' Shirley?
Report Schalke 04 April 18, 2010 7:55 PM BST
I would love to watch Gary Wilkinson do blues off the spot for 5 hours
Report STEPTOES YARD April 18, 2010 11:29 PM BST
.
Report 9dart147 April 19, 2010 9:45 AM BST
Oh i dream of potholing in the yorshire dales with the dapper red vested welsh lothario Dominic
Report alun2005 May 3, 2010 6:54 PM BST
Restoring this thread to its rightful place on Finals Night
Report kingbrief. May 3, 2010 7:14 PM BST
Illegal dog fighting with Sandy Higgins in the afternoon followed by an evening of hell-raising in Hartlepool. In just our pants...
Report michael knight May 3, 2010 7:16 PM BST
A night out in Moscow with the Wizard.
Report ccd May 3, 2010 7:16 PM BST
I wan to go to Chessington World of Adventures with Terry Griffiths.
Report ccd September 26, 2010 7:07 PM BST
Bumped by popular demand.

Have to say the early ones are def the most classic - lets hope for a good final tonight!
Report wondersobright September 26, 2010 8:47 PM BST
I'd go watch Leicester with Selby.
Report airbag September 26, 2010 11:07 PM BST
a game of dominoes and a bottle of stout with Cliff Wilson
Report Hansi September 29, 2010 10:44 PM BST
Designing waistcoats with Jon Birch.
Report lee_arama September 30, 2010 10:47 AM BST
LOL, how many here actually got their wish?

Steve Davis at a poker table... Achieved! The man is such a gent, and I could have picked his brains for days.
Report KoolAxxed September 30, 2010 6:57 PM BST
west wing boxset sesh with Willie Thorne
Report spiller1 October 3, 2010 1:09 PM BST
Well Well Well what a thread.

Personally I would "come dine with me" and have a mixture of old and new.

Firstly I would have to invite the lovely Allison Fisher along.  Just as eye candy.  Lovely lady.
Secondly it would have to be Kirk Stevens.  I would make him wear his famous "dappers" and bring the champers.  I would defo ask him if he wanted to punch SilvinoFrancisco when he accused him of playing snooker under the influence of stimulating narcotics.
Thirdly would have to be Steve Davis.  Spitting Image called him "interesting" in the 80's and I think he would actually be very interesting.  It would be good to get the Spitting Image puppet at the same time to perform a "Punch & Judy Act".
The fourth and final memember would have to be Jimmy White.  He would bring the contents of the bar.


NOW:  I would also have entertainers.  Firstly, I would ask Rob The Voice Walker to assist the evenings events, and maybe assist as the butler for the evening.  he could annouce "Lets get in the mood 7 eat some food" etc.

Secondly I would have to ask Virgo and Davidson around and rig up a table for a quick game of "Big Break".  We have the four players so where would the contestants come from you may ask.  Well that is easy.  I would ask acouple of friends around. (forgive me but I am going to pretend that they are all alive - sorry)  Firstly - Spike Milligan, scondly - Oliver Reed, thirdly - Frank Sinatra, and finally George Best.


This is not too much too ask.

I think it would be a fun event.   [;)]
Report snookerbacker October 4, 2010 2:26 PM BST
Topless Snooker with Murphy and Lee, with Alan Chamberlain refereeing naked (except for the white gloves).
Report pandora1963 December 9, 2012 2:13 AM GMT
Id quite fancy a game of eye spy with  Mark Davis while Barry Hawkins does a little jig  for us both,tea to follow.
Report Howellsy December 9, 2012 9:20 AM GMT
Since my eyes have recently gone, and I need advice on how to cope, I'd go for an afternoon at Specsavers with Steve Newbury.
Report ccd December 9, 2012 7:55 PM GMT
Thanks to Groupon these baize-boy afternoons are now cheaper than ever before! The other day in Tavistock me and Andy Hicks had a full body lazer hair removal session AND a colonic each for under 20 sheets. We went  to Greggs after...
Report alun2005 December 3, 2014 12:48 PM GMT
.
Report pandora1963 December 3, 2014 1:12 PM GMT
good to see this all time classic thread back up where it belongs
Report alun2005 December 3, 2014 2:54 PM GMT
I'd love to spend long afternoons excitedly wrapping up Christmas presents with Lee of Trowbridge, then together we'd take them down to the Post Office (singing Carols loudly as we do so), and send them by First-Class 'Signed For' mail, or "International Tracked and Signed" for overseas parcels.
Report Pokermonster December 3, 2014 3:07 PM GMT
I'd like to go on a Ripperesque killing spree with Ray Edmonds, later benefitting from Ray's expertise in forensic science to incriminate Rex Williams.
Report charlatan December 3, 2014 5:32 PM GMT
i often look out of the window wistfully and ponder cruising the fjords with the reliable darren morgan.
Report ccd December 3, 2014 6:08 PM GMT
I think that is the best thing about Darren...His availability.
Report alun2005 April 18, 2015 12:00 AM BST
As the day arrives of the start of the 2015 renewal of the World Professional Snooker Championship, let this thread take its place once more at the very top table that our sport can offer.
Report Pokermonster April 18, 2015 3:46 PM BST
I'd visit Rex Williams in Broadmoor and taunt him with pictures of Ray Edmonds' moth collection.
Report paddletoe April 18, 2015 5:56 PM BST
Perry Mans because every time I think of him I am transported back to being a little boy in the 1970's. Always dressed immaculately too.
Report ccd April 18, 2015 9:26 PM BST
Sometimes Alun it is only this thread and its warm sepia-toned imaginings of convivial afternoons spent in the company of top sportsmen that keeps me going...
Report alun2005 April 19, 2015 12:26 AM BST
I agree my friend. Some of the greatest ever forumites also graced this thread in its early stages. Sadly many have left us since.
Report paddletoe April 19, 2015 12:32 AM BST
A whole day in the bookies with the whirlwind doing 50 quid reverse forecasts on the dogs one race after another.
Report alun2005 April 19, 2015 1:09 AM BST
Laugh

Sounds fab.
Report ZEALOT April 19, 2015 8:50 AM BST
sex with cliff Wilson .
Report alun2005 April 16, 2016 10:49 AM BST
As the 2016 feast commences, let this thread once more take its rightful place at the top table.
Report ccd April 19, 2016 3:30 AM BST
Once more it emerges like Godzilla from the murky depths...It cannot be killed!

Looking  back at the start if this thread makes me miss the contibutions of Snookerbacker. Fair play to the guy, his blog is pretty darn good.
Report stu April 19, 2016 10:34 AM BST
Trainspotting for a whole afternoon in Leeds with Nigel Bond, both of us in matching leather jackets (of course).
Report ZenMaster April 19, 2016 10:43 AM BST
Milking goats with Tony Meo
Report Mavis "Hacksaw" Handbag April 19, 2016 2:34 PM BST
I hope one day I'll be able to fulfil my dream, and take Alain Robidoux to one of those 'self-help' seminars.  We would pay 650 quid (each) to be taught how to write down a list of goals, do collages of the things we like, and learn how to stroke and caress one another lovingly.

To begin the day, I'd take him and a professor of Pythagoras Theorem to a joiner's workshop to get his perfectly triangulated beard even more perfectly triangulated.  This would be aligned in perfect symmetry to his sharply triangulated nose.

We would then spend lunch time snacking on Dairylea Dunkers and watching the 'Ronnie O Sullivan 147' box set.  Off we would then trot, to our afternoon seminar.

After visiting the forest to find some suitable wood for a new cue, the Canadian hunk of man meat and myself would retire to a Ronnie O Sullivan-themed log cabin, where the stroking and caressing (mainly of the beard and nose areas) would commence.

I think I would get more out of it than he would.
Report alun2005 April 15, 2017 6:53 PM BST
Back to where this thread belongs, for the World Championship.
Report Howellsy April 15, 2017 9:49 PM BST
Standing side by side out the back of the snooker hall, **** in hand, with Wayne Jones, staring up at the mist caressing the mountain, sighing.
Report Howellsy April 15, 2017 9:50 PM BST
That was the slang word for cigarette by the way ...
Report wisewords April 16, 2017 3:39 AM BST
Cheesy karaoke with Ding Junhui.
Report jed.davison May 2, 2017 2:33 PM BST
I've often thought that an afternoon playing Scrabble with Igor Figueiredo would be time well spent - I wonder if he practises on a smaller board than we use when he's in Brazil and then has to adapt his game when he comes to Europe.

Not that Words With Friends rubbish either - proper Scrabble, with the bonus squares exactly where one would expect them to be and not placed willy-nilly around the board as if by a Battleships maestro.
Report pandora1963 July 7, 2017 12:51 AM BST
afternoon at leeds castle with dotty, chasing each other round the maze
Report hfink November 10, 2017 12:12 AM GMT
Sadly this would probably never happen, but for a long time I have fantasised about seeing Coventry City vs. Steve Davis.
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