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Tommy Toes
11 Sep 09 14:27
Date Joined: 20 Apr 04
| Topic/replies: 55,498 | Blogger: Tommy Toes's blog
Second helpings gents.

God bless The Horsebox and all who sail in her!
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Report Joel December 31, 2017 1:33 AM GMT
Disappointing loss for Stoke today Tommy, but the good news is they are just 38 points off top spot! Still plenty of games to go!
Report Joel January 1, 2018 12:44 AM GMT
It's Bush Battlers Cup Day at Inverell today Tommy! And Inverell Cup!
And it's Tattersalls Club Cup Day at Randwick!
And it's Perth Cup Day at Ascot!
And it's New Years Cup Day at Murray Bridge!
And it's Longford Cup Day at Longford!
Report Joel January 2, 2018 12:50 AM GMT
It's Kingscliff Beach Bowls Club Cup Day at Murwillumbah today Tommy!
And it's Tathra Cup Day at Sapphire Coast!
Report trilby22 January 2, 2018 1:07 AM GMT
It's a Public Holiday in Scotland today, Joel!
Happy New Year fella.
Report trilby22 January 2, 2018 1:08 AM GMT
And I'm taking care of some vino rouge I have left over!
Report trilby22 January 2, 2018 1:10 AM GMT
And it's Perth Cup Day at Ascot!

Glad I wasn't there, for I would have been totally lost!
Report trilby22 January 2, 2018 1:55 AM GMT
Report Joel January 2, 2018 1:56 AM GMT
Happy New Year!

I dont believe this Ascot has the Royal seal of approval though!
Report trilby22 January 2, 2018 1:57 AM GMT
Top tune here lads!  Many accuse Rolf.  i'm not sure - but this is a belter!
Report trilby22 January 2, 2018 2:01 AM GMT
To which I add this classic from Motörhead ... RIP Lemmy. Always remembered.
Report trilby22 January 2, 2018 2:12 AM GMT
Any Motörhead freaks aboot?

This came on after 1916 and looks interesting.  Don't think I know it ...
Report trilby22 January 2, 2018 2:18 AM GMT
Well, that was indeed interesting.  Cool toon.
Report trilby22 January 2, 2018 2:20 AM GMT
Right, this for all you Aussie slags!


Tell yer bitches ...
Report trilby22 January 2, 2018 3:14 AM GMT
G'nite from Scotland - see my other Freddos
Report Joel January 4, 2018 1:17 AM GMT
It's Harrington Cup Day at Taree today Tommy!
And it's Bellarine Cup Day at Geelong!
Report Joel January 5, 2018 12:49 AM GMT
It's Halls Gap Cup Day at Stawell today Tommy!
Report Tommy Toes January 5, 2018 6:27 AM GMT
"Happy New Year" - to Joel and all Horseboxites!
Report Joel January 6, 2018 2:47 AM GMT
Happy New Year!
It's Mandurah Cup Day at Pinjarra today Tommy!
Report David Fishwick Minibus Sales January 6, 2018 5:10 PM GMT
today's result must surely mark the end of Lesley
Report Joel January 7, 2018 1:03 AM GMT
It's Gilgandra Cup Day at Gilgrandra today Tommy!
And Koroit Cup Day at Warrnambool!
Report alun2005 January 7, 2018 12:34 PM GMT
A catastrophic result for Stoke City as they lose 2-1 away in the third round of the FA Cup to the Isthmian League's perennial strugglers Coventry City, at the Man With No Knees In His Shabby Trousers Stadium.

I walked back to the railway station with the despondent travelling Stoke fans, and for the entire walk and subsequent train journey back to Oatcake Temple Meads, this chant held sway :

'We want Hughes sacked and we’re feeling cranky.
The time has come to sign the Dream Ticket of LORD TOMMY TOES and the MISSPELLED COUNT EDWARD HANKEY

I don’t mind admitting I wept openly at hearing such a moving and profound display of collective good judgement. The sooner that Stoke City employ these innovative thinkers ad inspired man-managers the better. 

You will find no greater admirer that myself of their 1-1-1-1-1-1-1-3  'Big T' formation, probably the finest footballing leap of the mind since Keith Weller played in his tights.

And if the players don't deliver, I am sure they can be 'disappeared' to Tommy's special abattoir.
Report Joel January 8, 2018 2:51 AM GMT
It's Narooma Cup Day at Moruya today Tommy!
Report Joel January 9, 2018 11:48 PM GMT
It's Devonport Cup Day at Devonport today Tommy!
Report Joel January 12, 2018 12:09 AM GMT
It's Brighton Cup Day at Hobart today Tommy!
Report Joel January 12, 2018 11:05 PM GMT
It's Glen Innes Cup Day at Glen Innes today Tommy!
And it's Magic Millions Country Cup Day on the Gold Coast! And Magic Millions Cup Day!
Report Joel January 14, 2018 2:04 AM GMT
It's Pink Silks Cup Day at Coffs Harbour today Tommy!
Report Tommy Toes January 14, 2018 3:17 AM GMT
Hello Joel!

Hope you've won all THE CUPS going in the last few weeks!

Alun, the way it's going, with 'proper' managers turning Stoke down left right and centre it might very well be me and the Count at the helm come Monday!

Dear oh dear, what a particularly Stoke-type pickle has transpired lately.

Realms of discontents moaning their heads off about Hughes on Radio Stoke - without a nanosecond's thought on who could replace him, other than thicko ruminating of "Er, well Sean Dyche would be good" etc etc, without having any idea whatsoever about the way contracts work, personnel, ambition, bloody personal happiness comes into the equation with any managerial job!

A quote from tonights's Oatcake, under the topic 'Depressing Day' has really made me smile:

"Not everyone’s had a bad day, Mark Hughes is probably sat at home in his pants with a massive Cuban cigar and a very fine glass of red wine with the biggest daftest grin you’ve ever seen..."

And so he bloody should have!

If only people could think with a bit of intelligence in Stoke, it might do the place the world of good - but it never happens.

I suppose that's what makes Stoke "Stoke".

Which leads me to another quote from The Oatcake if Roy Keane and MON take the job::

"Shaqiri’s calves will pop the minute that Roy unleashes his icy glare. And as for Nigel’s inane post match questioning...
[Nigel is Radio Stoke's long standing match commentator and after-match interviewer]

F**k it, i’m going to try and enjoy it all in a perverse kind of way. This is the looney tunes club that I fell in love with. I’ve had enough of sensible and stable crap. Bring on the madness and despair
Report Tommy Toes January 14, 2018 3:21 AM GMT
There was more to that post than has appeared.

Chit Chat bloody editing to make it look like people are putting their name to things they haven't said?

That was the Oatcake poster's comment - not mine.

I added a bit on after saying "Go that Stokie!"
Report Joel January 15, 2018 9:20 PM GMT
It's GJC Summer Cup Day at Gunnedah today Tommy!
Report Tommy Toes January 17, 2018 9:20 PM GMT
Hope you won the GJC Summer Cup Day at Gunnedah, Joel!

So, Stoke now have a new manager who was absolutely vilified by all the usual Stokie thickoes as soon as he was appointed.
They probably thought Pep or José would be straining at the leash to take over here!

They hated Pulis when he was reappointed - and even had red cards made up to flash in the stands in his first few games, and they hated Hughes when he was appointed, with one bloke driving around the stadium with a 'HUGHES OUT' board strapped to his van before he'd even got here - so I'd say the future looks very rosy for Paul Lambert!

Welcome to Stoke, Paul.

I hope you enjoy your time here as much as your fellow Scotsman Lou Macari did - who's never  left living in Stoke, long after he left his job.

Report Joel January 18, 2018 12:57 AM GMT
I think he can lead the Potters to the Premiership in the next 2 years.

It's Gosford Gold Cup Day at Gosford today Tommy!
Report kenny mann January 18, 2018 1:22 AM GMT
Singing will be hard to beat in that, Joel.
Report alun2005 January 18, 2018 1:34 AM GMT
Thank you Tommy for that momentous and key eyewitness reportage from they very margins of decent society.

I would say that the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are due to arrive in Stoke anyday soon, never mind a half-decent manager. However, even they will quickly decide to flee a landscape where poisonous waste soils the footsteps of the legions of barely recognisable human skeletons scavenging the tips for leftover Peppa Pig ice cream lollies.

Quite honestly it must be like watching Pompeii being submerged in the fires of Vesuvius, and not even a single BBC reporter at the scene to make sense of the devastation, having wisely decided to go home early and watch repeats of 'Baggage Battles' on the Travel Channel. 

This managerial merry-go-round is Stoke's very own Vietnam, make no mistake. Res Ipsa Loquitur.
Report Joel January 18, 2018 6:20 AM GMT
Well done Ken
Report Tommy Toes January 18, 2018 7:33 AM GMT
Joel, I think he'll lead Stoke to Premiership Championies in the next two years too!

Alun, the good thing about Stoke is people here (well, most people) see sense when the battle stations need manning and on the phone-in tonight on the sports programme on Radio Stoke there was an overwhelming wave of positivity about the new manager - as indeed there is on 'The Oatcake' message board.

Stoke played well against Man U the other night - no matter that they lost - and they now have some very winnable matches coming up.

Paul Lambert - or 'Lambo' as he is now affectionately being called by the Stokies who hated him a mere two days ago (!) has spoken about how very happy he is to take the reigns here no matter if he was 1st or 15th pick, which is rather refreshing, and he's also spoken very well about his intentions with the team and hinted at tactics and formations which make an awful lot of sense.

I may be a glass half-full bod by nature but I'm sure even the glass half-empty merchants have been impressed with his measured, confident, grounded utterances.

What's more - you can bloody hear him when he talks on the radio without switching the volume to maximum, like you had to do to catch what Hughes was mumbling about!

Report Mikael D'Haguenet January 18, 2018 9:20 AM GMT
Since you bring up Lou Macari, TT, I thought I'd mention a time when not all football fans were as stupid as they seem to be today. I was at a Chesterfield vs Swindon game (in what google informs me was 1985) which was Swindon's first game since sacking Macari. It's a fair hike from Swindon to here to see a fourth-tier match on a Tuesday night, but virtually all of those who had made the journey were noisily protesting Macari's dismissal. He got his job back a few days later.

Hope Lambert does well for you. Always thought he was a decent manager myself.
Report Tommy Toes January 18, 2018 10:22 AM GMT
Hello Easter!
Good to see you again.

Nice story about Lou.

I saw him 'Up 'anley duck' sometime last year. He was really hobbling, showing that his playing career leg injuries must really be taking a toll on him now.

He was chatting to a youth as he was hobbling along, who I believe was someone who recognised Lou and wanted to talk to the Man U and Stoke legend as the youth veered off soon afterwards looking very smiley.

Lou still lives here and still does a lot charity-wise for the City.
He organised another night time sleepover in the Bet365 stadium (like he did last year) over the Christmas period in aid of the homeless folk in Stoke.
Good on him.

I hope Lambert does well for us too.

I can't bear the negativity of some 'fans' who seem to think they can play 'Football Manager' in real life.
Completely deluded fools.

For months on 'Praise & Grumble' on Radio Stoke the spanners have been phoning in deriding Hughes but no-one, bar no-one has ever been able to come up with a realistic alternative to a first class manager who's given Stoke three 9th places finishes in the Premier League and one 14th place, which was only like something like 2 points off 10th place.

They finally got him sacked with their constant moaning only to find they didn't have Pep and co clammering for the job!
#2 Completely deluded fools.

Well, it's another day now and 'Lambo' deserves all the good will in the world.

He's certainly talking a good deal of sense and I reckon he just might become one of Stoke's best managers, given a bit of luck.
Report Joel January 19, 2018 11:40 PM GMT
It's Camperdown Cup Day a Camperdown today Tommy!
Report Tommy Toes January 19, 2018 11:45 PM GMT
Hope you win the Camperdown CUP at Camperdown, Joel!
Report Joel January 19, 2018 11:48 PM GMT
Me too!
Report Joel January 19, 2018 11:50 PM GMT
I went to the Healesville Cup meeting last week, it was a tremendous day out despite it raining most of the day.
Report Tommy Toes January 19, 2018 11:51 PM GMT

I'm on holiday two weeks today.
Fancy coming to The Coachmakers for a pint?
Report Joel January 19, 2018 11:59 PM GMT
haha I wouldnt mind!
I'm in Sydney for a few days at the moment though, I'm going on another cruise on Tuesday!
Report Joel January 20, 2018 12:02 AM GMT
Are you going to go to the doctors??
Report Tommy Toes January 20, 2018 12:10 AM GMT
Another cruise!

Where are you heading this time?

I'm definitely thinking of going to a walk-in hospital type place when I'm off, as I still can't get through to my doctor's place.

'The Haywood' will apparently give me an X-Ray on walk-in (even though I'll have to wait) and may be able to suggest something, as my wrist is hurting probably more than when I fell out of me trisers!

Still wearing the blue support bandage, still killing me, still knobbled to buggery!
Report Joel January 20, 2018 12:19 AM GMT
Yes, you had better! Or I will have to come over and march you there!

It's a 10 night cruise to the South Pacific, it goes to a few places in New Caledonia and Vanuatu I think. Because I gambled so much in the Casino on the last one they gave me a decent discount on this one,
Report Tommy Toes January 20, 2018 12:24 AM GMT
By heck, Joel!

That sounds like a cracking cruise!

Almost as good as a night at The Coachmakers, sitting outside looking at Hanley Bus Station...almost!
Report Joel January 20, 2018 12:27 AM GMT
hehehe no I think that would be much better! It's a lovely looking Bus Station! But i suspect the weather might be a bit warmer on the cruise though1
Report Tommy Toes January 20, 2018 12:32 AM GMT
It might be at that!

Do you know, as breezy and cool as it was that day when you came to Stoke, that was our last day of 'good weather' here!
Report Joel January 20, 2018 12:40 AM GMT
Oh well, Summer is coming soon(ish)!

It was 42 degrees when I left Melbourne yesterday!
Report Tommy Toes January 20, 2018 12:46 AM GMT
I've heard on the radio it's boiling hot over in Melbourne.

Stoke would evaporate if the temperature gauge ever reached that level!

I just can't wait for a bit of warm, sunny weather. It's like living in a butcher's fridge over here - with an odd cyclone thrown in!
Report Joel January 20, 2018 12:51 AM GMT
hehe I hope you have  a good heater!
Or the fireplace at the Coachmakers!

I don't mind the cold so much, or the heat, just if it's humid I don't particularly care for!
Report Tommy Toes January 20, 2018 12:55 AM GMT
It's never humid in Stoke - the temperature never gets high enough to create humidity!

It's just soggy, cold and damp most of the time...

Sheesh, the joys of living in Stoke!
Report Joel January 20, 2018 1:06 AM GMT
hehe, oh well, at least you have a few Premierships to look forward to in the next few years!

It generally doesn't get too humid in Melbourne either but it has been a few days this summer.

My friend has moved up North, I have thought about  going up there too as houses are quite cheap compared to Melbourne but Summer is hot and humid with the chance of Cyclones! Winter is nice though.
Report Joel January 20, 2018 10:14 PM GMT
It's Japan Cowra Cup Day at Cowra today Tommy! And Cowra cup Day!
And it's Brendan Howard Memorial Cup Day at Gawler!
Report Joel January 21, 2018 9:01 PM GMT
It's Moruya Cup day at Moruya today Tommy!
Report Mikael D'Haguenet January 26, 2018 9:09 AM GMT
Brewers make a big splash. Trade for one All Star and sign another in free agency. Last time I posted something similar was in December 2010 and they came within two games of the World Series. No 66/1 this time but I've been saying for a couple of years that 2018* was the year...

*I'd recently changed to say 2019 was the year as it looked like they weren't going to shove the chips in this year. This clearly shows they are. Bound to add a quality starting pitcher now too. I'm saying 'chaaarge!'
Report The_KAMIKAZEE_DRINKING_MACHINE January 28, 2018 11:35 AM GMT
It's been a week since Joel posted anything on the Forum. I hope he's not still sulking about me getting p1ssed and STOMPING all over his model aeroplanes.

Whatever happened to Tommy Toes LPOTW?

I can't be arsed looking for it but I have here a CHOON that is a SERIOUS CONTENDER for Top Honours.

Sam & Dave. It doesn't get better than this.
Report Tommy Toes February 6, 2018 11:52 AM GMT
Good morning gents.

On 24th January 2018 I contracted the Australian Influenza bug (strain: circa winter 2017).

Today, on the 6th February 2018, I am just about beginning to feel compos mentis once again.

I've had to have 4 days off work (I've not had a day off work, sick or otherwise, since 1981).
I've lost half a stone (I cannot afford to lose 1 pound) and now I'm on 'holiday'.

Well whoopie-doopie-doo.

I would not wish the Australian Infuenza bug of 2017 on anyone.
Particularly the pain.

I am not a marde arse where pain is concerned. Believe me.
This thing hurts more than words can describe.

KAMI, It doesn't get better than Sam & Dave singing 'Hold On, I'm Comin'
CHOON indeed!
Report Joel February 8, 2018 11:33 PM GMT
Crikeys. That doesn't sound good.
Would the fact that it's Walcha Cup Day at Walcha today help you feel better?
Report Joel February 10, 2018 12:48 AM GMT
It's Tooraweenah Cup Day at Gilgandra today Tommy!
Report The_KAMIKAZEE_DRINKING_MACHINE February 10, 2018 12:24 PM GMT
I've never heard of the Australian Influenza. Who the fxck hasn't had a day off work since 1981? Aussies get paid 15 sick days a year and take every one of them.
Report Joel February 11, 2018 1:12 AM GMT
It's 'The Barb' Cup Day at Bathurst today Tommy! And Hugh Bowman Country Cup Day! And Bill Aspros Cup Day! And Rising Prince Cup Day! And IDA Traill Cup Day! And Gold Circle Cup Day! And Bathurst Cup Day! And Tulloch Cup Day! Phew!
And it's Colac Cup Day at Colac!
And it's Naracoorte Cup Day at Naracoorte!
And it's Hobart Cup Day at Hobart!
Report Joel February 11, 2018 5:54 AM GMT
It's also Provincial Cup Day at Newcastle!
Report Joel February 15, 2018 11:00 PM GMT
It's Quirindi Cup Day at Quirindi today Tommy!
Report Joel February 15, 2018 11:04 PM GMT
And that's not true Kami, I thought it was only about 10 days....and I worked in a place for 10 years and only had 1 sick day in all that time. And barely any holidays.
Report SlippyBlue February 16, 2018 12:07 AM GMT
When is "The Golden Slipper" held Joel? I used to love my days at Rosehill back in the day. I'd bet whatever Mick Dittman was on!
Report Joel February 16, 2018 12:21 AM GMT
Haha! I've only been to Rosehill a couple of times but it was always a good day out.  The Golden Slipper is on March 24 this year......My  local course has the Golden Thong a couple of weeks later Excited
Report SlippyBlue February 16, 2018 12:29 AM GMT
OK Joel, such a lovely track Rosehill is. Tip up your fancy nearer the time Wink
Report Joel February 16, 2018 12:32 AM GMT
Shall do!

Any plans to come back here?
Report Joel February 17, 2018 4:50 AM GMT
It's Kangaroo Island Cup Day at Kangaroo Island today Tommy!
Report Joel February 18, 2018 12:11 AM GMT
It's Morwell Cup Day at Moe today Tommy! And Newborough Cup Day! And Warragul Cup Day! And Yarragon Cup Day!
And it's Miners Rest Community Cup Day at Ballarat!
Report David Fishwick Minibus Sales February 22, 2018 2:05 PM GMT
interesting read:
Report Joel February 24, 2018 12:06 AM GMT
It's Boggabri Cup Day at Gunnedah today Tommy!
And it's Parramatta Advertiser Cup Day at Rosehill!
Report The_KAMIKAZEE_DRINKING_MACHINE February 24, 2018 12:01 PM GMT
Apparently I'm in the Tommy Toes We All Hate Annie Gang. Someone might have given me a heads up. Is there registration fees or something if there is can I fix you up next month see I'm trying to sell a car so I'm a bit skint at the mo but soon as I get rid of this motor I'll sort it. Is the membership compulsory? It's just that I don't know anything about this Annie not sure if I hate her or not. I didn't even realise I was in the Tommy Toes gang or that Tommy Toes even had a gang. I'm well up for it though. I've never been in a gang. I always think of Gary Glitter when I think of gangs. I remember once suggesting people check out a Gary Glitter CHOON I posted up and got accused of being a PEDO. Such is life on the Forum.
Report The_KAMIKAZEE_DRINKING_MACHINE February 24, 2018 12:39 PM GMT
"Sittin' out on the Palm Beach road
I'm so drunk and the car won't go.
My crazy eyes keep looking out to sea.
Sunday drivers are cruisin' around
wish they'd all go back to town
What the hell do they expect to find?
Sure as hell ain't peace of mind!"

Richard Clapton  -   DEEP WATER
Report The_KAMIKAZEE_DRINKING_MACHINE February 24, 2018 12:43 PM GMT
He's the Leader of the Gang!
Report The_KAMIKAZEE_DRINKING_MACHINE February 24, 2018 12:48 PM GMT
When you're talking UK 70s Pop CHOONS it doesn't get much better than the GG.
Report Joel February 24, 2018 12:49 PM GMT
I want to join the Eric Olthwaite Gang.
Report The_KAMIKAZEE_DRINKING_MACHINE February 24, 2018 12:52 PM GMT
Can never see GG without some laugh out loud moments.

I always thought this was his best CHOON. Good clip too.
Report The_KAMIKAZEE_DRINKING_MACHINE February 24, 2018 1:06 PM GMT

Nearly forgot this one.
Report The_KAMIKAZEE_DRINKING_MACHINE February 24, 2018 1:13 PM GMT
I had to Google Eric Olthwaite. I recall Ripping Yarns. Saw it on ABC about 40 years ago and can remember nothing of it.
Report Joel February 25, 2018 12:23 AM GMT
A classic show.

It's Adelaide Plains Cup Day at Balaklava today Tommy!
Report Joel February 25, 2018 10:53 PM GMT
It's Gloucester Cup Day at Tsree today Tommy!
Report The Leopard February 25, 2018 11:31 PM GMT
I think we have to assume the worst.

It doesn't look good !
Report Joel February 28, 2018 2:28 AM GMT
It's Launceston Cup Day at Launceston today Tommy!
Report Joel March 1, 2018 11:15 PM GMT
It's Port Lincoln Cup Day at Port Lincoln today Tommy!
Report The Leopard March 2, 2018 12:20 AM GMT
North Korean flu rife in Stoke !
Report Joel March 2, 2018 10:21 PM GMT
It's Liverpool City Cup Day at Randwick today Tommy!
And it's Diggers Cup Day at Cowra!
And it's Tattersall's Members Cup Day at Doomben!
And it's The MWM Advisory AOOB Cup Day at Gold Coast!
Report Joel March 4, 2018 12:26 AM GMT
It's Armidale Cup Day at Armidale today Tommy!
And it's Tom Patton Showcase Cup Day at Wagga Wagga!
And it's Birregurra Cup Day at Colac!
And it's Wangaratta Cup Day at Wangaratta!
And it's Esperance Cup Day at Esperance!
Report Joel March 5, 2018 12:44 AM GMT
It's Kingscliff Beach Bowls Club Cup Day at Murwillumbah today Tommy!
Report Joel March 7, 2018 7:08 AM GMT
It's Porter Plant Cup Day at Ballarat today Tommy!
Report Joel March 9, 2018 11:32 AM GMT
I forgot to tell you it was Merimbula Cup Day at Sapphire Coast today Tommy!
Report Joel March 9, 2018 10:14 PM GMT
It's Corowa Cup Day at Corowa today Tommy!
And it's West Wimmera Shire Cup Day at Edenhope!
And it's Towong Cup Day at Towong!
Report The_KAMIKAZEE_DRINKING_MACHINE March 10, 2018 10:17 AM GMT
Larry Corowa comes from Corowa.
Report Joel March 10, 2018 10:24 AM GMT
I thought he came from Murwillumbah
Report The_KAMIKAZEE_DRINKING_MACHINE March 10, 2018 10:54 AM GMT
Report Joel March 10, 2018 11:11 AM GMT
Are you sure?
Report Joel March 10, 2018 10:26 PM GMT
It's Yamba Cup Day at Grafton today Tommy!
And it's Echuca Cup Day at Echuca!
And it's Stony Creek Cup Day at Stony Creek!
And it's The Bull & Bush Tavern Cup Day at Bunbury!
And it's Canberra Cup Day at Canberra!
Report Joel March 12, 2018 12:31 AM GMT
It's CS Hayes Memorial Cup Day at Morphettville today Tommy! And Adelaide Cup Day!
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