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Results for tag: winning
Posted by: Alex69 on Jul 29, 2017 at 01:19:18 PM
[b]IN THE WORDS[/b] of my two eccentric uncles The Pet Shop Boys: “It’s a… it’s a… it’s a… sin.” No it’s not. It’s a bit of harmless fun. Gambling that is. We’re not all as rich as we’d like and we haven’t got a bottomless pit of cash. Spending money on gambling, however, is often seen as a massive sin. Next time someone harps on about what a ‘waste of money’ gambling is and how you’d be much better saving it or spending it ‘more wisely’, show them this. All prices are accurate-ish circa July 2017. [b]What can £100 buy you nowadays? [/b] 30 pints of beer - the equivalent of at least four hangovers and an increase in waist size, baggy eyes and a red nose 14 packets of cigarettes - not that good for you the last time my butler ‘Daft’ Frankie...
Posted by: Alex69 on Jul 4, 2017 at 11:21:48 AM
[b]AS[/b] part of my military training many, many beards ago I was sent to a summer boot camp in the far reaches of Northumberland. This consisted largely of early doors reveille, plenty of porridge and lots of competitive sport (footy, podex and cross country running). We were also required to keep our bell tents spotlessly tidy. Anything less than perfection after the daily inspection and you were in trouble, with the punishment varying between being staked out in the middle of the night by rope and tent pegs or simply being lobbed naked into the nearby stream. It didn’t do me any harm, however, and I embraced the thing to such an extent that they asked me back to run the whole shebang in years to come. One could say the poacher had become gamekeeper. [b]I digress. [/b]I do...
Posted by: Alex69 on Jun 25, 2017 at 03:47:35 PM
[b]YOU’LL[/b] all be delighted to hear that I’m a superb tennis player. I’ve won several events, home and abroad, and have been asked to turn pro on several occasions. Obviously, being in the employ of Her Majesty’s Secret Service precludes any long-term commitment to the most noble racquet sport of them all. Besides, as I’m such a dab hand at darts and cue sports too I’d be loath to knock any of the aforementioned on the head in favour of one or the other. [b]I digress. [/b] With Wimbledon just around the corner I’ll be dusting down the DB9 and heading down to a lady friend’s gaff just off High Street Kensington in order to be near enough to pick up the tube, call in and check out some of the action. Despite being a superb player myself, I have to admit that not all...
Posted by: Alex69 on Nov 25, 2015 at 02:47:32 PM
[b]HELLO[/b], good afternoon and welcome to my latest blog. I’ve been chilling in the home counties since I got back from my little trip to the Bahamas as both my castles in Scotland are currently being renovated in time for Hogmanay (I’ll be flying between each in my helicopter at various parts of the night just to make sure everyone’s being properly entertained. I’ve got some of the lads from the Bay City Rollers playing at one, and two – hopefully three – members of Runrig doing a couple of numbers at the other). My third castle – in Spain – is currently out of action largely due to the fact that large parts of it have had an attack of Verdigris and I’m having difficulties getting the right quality of obreros in. To ensure there'll be no unwelcome visitors, a small ...
Posted by: Alex69 on Aug 5, 2014 at 10:04:56 AM
[b]HELLO,[/b] good morning and welcome to my latest blog. Snooker has to be the most sedentary sport in the world. The contestants are even lazier than darts players. Let’s face it, how many times have you seen a darts player ask the ref for a rest? Furthermore, the dress code has got to be the most bonkers of all sports. “Mum, I’m just off for a game of snooker with my mates.” “Okay son, don’t forget your waistcoat, bow tie and ridiculous spats.” [b]It also features some of life’s more bizarre eccentrics.[/b] Dechawat Poomjaeng, for example (the one who looks like Pixie out of the old TV series Monkey), was described by Stephen Maguire as ‘not the full shilling’. That’s pretty extreme if you ask me. Put it this way, if I was ever on Who Wants To Be A ...
Posted by: Alex69 on Sep 20, 2013 at 12:00:22 PM
[b]HELLO,[/b] good afternoon & welcome to my latest blog. I’ve always found that following Henry Hill’s sage-like words of wisdom have stood me in good stead for most things. He once told me: “Never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut.” I’ve since added one more thing to the above: “Never hire plastic shoes.” Tour guides in Turkey are a bit like internet search engines – they never take you where you want to go at the first time of asking. I somehow ended up on a gorge walk through Saklikent gorge in Turkey the other week and as I didn’t want to damage my pair of John Lobbs I was forced to borrow the most ghastly pair of plastic rhythms you’ve ever seen in your life. Couple this with the fact that I’d upset some of the locals down the road in...
Posted by: Alex69 on Sep 16, 2013 at 07:13:26 PM
[b]HELLO[/b], good evening and welcome to my latest blog. I don’t know if any of you have ever played any football management games, but to sum them up they’re just like women. They beckon you in with the prospect of a more exciting life, you become addicted to them, you enjoy a few highs and lows (as opposed to kitchen table mediocrity), then they dump you on your backside just when you think you’ve sussed them out. Besides, once you’ve managed Crawley Town to the European Champions League final (I have the screenshots to prove it), the only way is down. I digress. My local cricket combo, Lancashire, have just achieved promotion back up to the top division of English cricket. When they finally got their winning runs, the crowd of 23 (two umpires, the groundsman, 18 members of...
Posted by: Alex69 on Jul 16, 2013 at 09:45:25 AM
[b]HELLO,[/b] good morning and welcome to my latest blog. I hope this reaches you well. Please accept my usual apologies for not being in touch, but I had a date with a belly dancer in Turkey the other week. I’m not saying she was ugly, but she had a face like a witch doctor’s rattle. Still, there were benefits to be had as one of the local madmen (‘Agitated’ Abdul Arslan) invited me on a few trips out off the coast of Dalyan. There’s only so many pieces of Turkish Delight you can eat off a woman’s stomach, so once I’d blown her out it was time for a razz down to Iztuzu beach, followed by a bit of cave swimming and a jeep safari. The driver of the aforementioned was almost as mad as Abdul, which is saying something. He reminded me a little of Baldrick out of Blackadder,...
Posted by: Alex69 on May 3, 2012 at 11:04:16 AM
[b]HELLO,[/b] good morning and welcome to my latest blog. I visited a good friend of mine the other day. He lives in one of those big old mansions where the painting above the dinner table has eyes that move and all the bookcases have secret passages behind them. He puts on the odd wine tasting evening now and then. When I say ‘odd’, I mean ‘weird’. You have to dress up as one of your favourite book characters while you’re there. I’ve variously turned up over the years as Timmy the dog out of The Famous Five, the giant peach out of James and the Giant Peach and Zaphod Beeblebrox out of The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy. The latter elicited a few chuckles I can tell you, especially as my extra head was an actual ‘Kraftwerk’ robot head from their 1981 tour of locations...
Posted by: Alex69 on Apr 4, 2012 at 02:24:53 PM
[b]HELLO,[/b] good afternoon and welcome to my latest blog. Once again, apologies for the sporadic nature of my posts, but my life has been as unpredictable as the British weather of late. I had to spend a week holed up in Monaco recently as a good friend of mine who owed me a favour invited me over to his mansion with a view to spending a bit of time at the Monte Carlo casino. He reckons I bring him luck, so I didn’t need much persuasion to hop on a plane and join him for a few sessions on the roulette tables. [b]After three quarters of an hour I’d accumulated enough chips to give Harry Ramsden a run for his money,[/b] so we spent the rest of the week variously living it up in La Note Bleue, sunbathing on Larvotto beach and chilling on one of my friend’s yachts moored at Monte...
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