YOU’LL all be delighted to hear that I’m a superb tennis player. I’ve won several events, home and abroad, and have been asked to turn pro on several occasions. Obviously, being in the employ of Her Majesty’s Secret Service precludes any long-term commitment to the most noble racquet sport of them all. Besides, as I’m such a dab hand at darts and cue sports too I’d be loath to knock any of the aforementioned on the head in favour of one or the other.
With Wimbledon just around the corner I’ll be dusting down the DB9 and heading down to a lady friend’s gaff just off High Street Kensington in order to be near enough to pick up the tube, call in and check out some of the action. Despite being a superb player myself, I have to admit that not all of my tennis tipping in years of yore has been up to scratch. In fact I’d go as far as to say that it’s failed to stimulate certain people’s love deuces.
Still, on the back of my glorious Nadal tip the other week I’m confident I can follow this up with further tennis punting success. To this end, I'll be going for a nice easy multiple with which to warm ourselves up once the draw’s made on June 30. I'll share this with you when the time comes.
In the meantime, I’ll be helping the government’s on-going quest to change so-called IS into ISN’T with the help of some particularly sneaky top secret counter-terrorist weapons that Q Division have invented for me in recent weeks. Regardless of which party is in power at Whitehall, I’ll still be fighting the good fight to rid the world of terrorist scum. I don’t mess around.
New balls (for the terrorist I’ve just booted in the ging-gangs) please.